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Ira Desmond Aug 2010
Between the hours of twelve and one
sleep comes upon my head

and should I not doze off outright
I make prepared for bed

and every night I do the same
with flossed and brushèd teeth

the coffee *** is timed to brew,
sleep setting on T.V.

There's little more a man could do
inside so small a space

with front door locked, and lights turned out
I tend to end my days.

Yet there's one thing I leave unchecked
and do so knowingly:

The Peephole in my ten'ment door
does seem to stare at me.

But never shall I look again,
not through that small inlet,

because one fateful night I did,
and now I can't forget.

It was a night without a mark
to make it stand apart—

I thought about the coming day
while walking through the dark.

And without thought, I stole a glance
outside onto the street

and through the peephole, there it stood
just staring right at me.

If somehow it could sense my gaze,
I really could not say—

with heart in mouth, I held my breath
and tried to slink away.

I crept in bed and pulled the sheets
around my trembling frame

and sat upright, until the night
did give way to the day.

A knock upon my door at nine
aroused me from my state

"Delivery!" a voice called out—
no longer could I wait.

I sprang from bed, my nightclothes on
and toward the door I ran

and without looking, opened
hoping I would see a friend.

Instead I looked around in shock,
for nobody was there—

no package left upon my stoop,
and silence in the air.

And as I went to close the door,
a wind began to blow,

a wind that whispered secrets that
no man should ever know.

I went inside, and horrified,
I knew I'd paid a toll,

and nevermore could I feel safe
to look from my peephole.
Ira Desmond Aug 2010
It’s funny how addiction brings
us to a place so many times—

an alleyway, a bathroom stall,
a lonely nighttime balcony.

Outside I stand in winter snows
all blowing in with violence,

and smoke my cigarettes alone
and sip the whiskey from my cup.

It’s here I think about the past—
regrets resounding in my brain,

the loved ones lost to death and chance
and all the chances come and gone.

And every time, it’s all the same—
the muted horns in foggy night,

the couples walking, huddled close,
the taxicabs all chugging by.

As close as this whole world might seem,
my habits send it far away,

and snow builds up upon my coat
as I am left with just my mind.

A bottle clasped inside one hand,
I search for ways to leave this life.

The sirens echo off the walls
of buildings fading into night.

— The End —