Please don’t look at me

Here, have a shed of my skin

Please don’t look at me

I rather feel emptiness

Than embarrassment

I’ll remove my eyes and body

Just to save a glimmer of soul

you've been stagnating
pyramid slowly getting covered by the sand
When?
Where?
Why?
small increments
a bump on a line
a beat
forever there
slowly moving in a place not moving
stuck

You took me out to a bar outside
Where did you go again?
I let you go to your new boyfriend, I hope you think of me

You're in the back of the room leaning on his shoulder
Reminds me of what we did before
Like we used to so long ago

Do you still know the smell of my cologne?
Beneath the pillows that we slept on
I think he's still figuring out how to turn you on.


You know it's true

He doesn't know you like I do
He is the rain but we dance all night in the rain and smile alongside you
He couldn't love you like I do

So if you think he's your home

Call me a homewrecker

Tell me how many times I made you dizzy
Tell me you're better off and say that you miss me

But tell me all about the times he kiss and *******
So that I can distance myself again

There's no way you'll stay with a boy like me
Got no car and the same white tee
Stare all night long, and BPD

You can't make it work with a guy like me
Got no style and it's all IT
I wake up from my dreams and I fall asleep

Wish you could be with a tool like me
Rolled NAT 1 on D&D
"He acts like that it's so scary"

No way you'll love a guy like me
Sad best friends and no ID
I don't know why but I can't wait and see


There's no way you'll stay with a boy like me

I experienced all of you just to prove something
I think I'm still fast enough to fly away from here
Still gotta make a decision

I took half and watched me watch you
City lights lay out before us
Your arm felt nice wrapped around my shoulder

Now I stay out drinking late
See more of my friends than you
I keep questioning why I stopped

I have been thinking too much
Sick of being worthless
Feels like I'm a fake
Am I not doing enough?
If wishing is real I wish for me to be brand new
To be finally someone that you wanted
Or maybe I can still save this
no.
Heart beats fast
Panic sets in
Chasing shadows
I'm not gonna last
Maybe I'm hopeless
Losing my life
Floating
Going through motions

Sorry sir am I too late?
I don't wanna talk about how
My vision is blurry and dark now
Voices are louder in my head
Sabotaging all my thoughts
I gotta wake up from this nightmare
Do I even really try?

Hey Mom, I fell in love with a girl over the internet and I punch myself after she broke up with me gonna hang up because I'm getting late, to face the world that hates me.

No news is good news I swear
Can you tell that I'm a ******* from over there?
I'm broke and my shoes don't have any soles

but I'm over it

Everyone's falling in love and I'm at home getting high
20 something I'm still waiting for luck
Kinda wish something happen

but I'm so over it

Sorry for venting, I just can't wait for the ending
I hate to complain, putting it all on display
Yeah, my bed is still on the floor

but I'm really over it

I'd rather be lonely than be by myself
I hate my room
I already put my pride on the shelf
Because I don't need help from anyone else
Everyone knows I've been feeling so low
I'm still out of character
"Reckless kid"
Now I'm a lost cause and truth be told
I lie too much to everyone, my bad
Do I even have to start working on it?

I thought I'd die young
All the things I liked failed me
I'll go to hell, I don't even care
I'm staring at a screen where no one stares
I wanna rip out all my insides
Feel every fiber
I don't know how to be myself
I know that it's all costumes
Funny dances that play in my mind
I won't hold on to something familiar
They keep letting me down
I'm just gonna acknowledge the gifts from my past


Until I run out of time

I think I'm out of luck
They left I'm so shaken up
Indecisions embracing
Incisions embroidered
So undecided
Is that how I walk?
I think I've lost myself
Went on a separate way
Feelings were never the same
I held onto you
With nothing to prove
nothing to prove
We held on longer
but now you're out of reach
said you'll hold on
but is it necessary to let go of me?
all the time I left wasted
how can I regret it?


this endless sea


The season continues
and it's hard to grieve
When the night comes fast
and I keep looking at strangers
I don't know how to cope
Close your eyes and pretend it's them
It's a lost cause
I wanted you to know
There's nothing to prove
But I keep on changing
I had a choice and I put a tie on it
Still feeling I'm still waiting
Hold that regretting

this endless sea
this endless sea
this endless sea
this endless sea
this endless sea
this endless sea

This thing is a no hope, close case, long road, and I'm pretty sure things have changed
Started getting that feeling that the time got stabbed and everything is bleeding out
Watched the color turn into yellow morphing into black and grey
The light's leaking
It's confusing how I see it now, can't afford to waste anymore because Every step gone forth is always a step back
and you can see it on my face
Do I still hold for longer?
It's not fair when you're out of reach, said you'll hold on
but is it necessary to let go of me?
all the time I left wasted

how can I regret it?
how can I regret it?
how can I regret it?
how can I regret it?
how can I regret it?
how can I regret it?

I think it's time I had a reset
It wasn't something I didn't foresee yet
Deep breath, reset.

It really hurts to play the part
I kept on running from the past you
I guess I didn't really have too
And I miss the clouds up high

Skyscrapers I am running
And I miss the sounds of the night

Saying that I could be something to you
or maybe I'll be nothing
I've nothing to prove

It all hurts the same way

i've lived
in a short time
all of it
for a moment
i am
but i am

ALWAYS CATCH ME PICKING SIDES
******* HATE THESE TEARY EYES
OVERDOSE WHILE TELLING LIES
ALWAYS TEARING UP MY ******* HAIR
DOING THINGS LIKE I DONT CARE
ALWAYS LOOKING FOR MORE DESPAIR
I DONT WANNA ******* CARE

i have no more direction
**** all these perfections
i have no more direction
and i'm so ******* scared

ALWAYS CATCH ME PICKING SIDES
******* HATE THESE TEARY EYES
OVERDOSE WHILE TELLING LIES
ALWAYS TEARING UP MY ******* HAIR
DOING THINGS LIKE I DONT CARE
ALWAYS LOOKING FOR MORE DESPAIR
I DONT WANNA ******* CARE

go pull up stare at the scene

In the table taking big shots
Making my eyes get blurry so I can't see
Making it more seems I don't wanna be alive
There's a hole in my being and you keep putting your hand in
Testing the waters like we always did

Is this the part where we hit up?
Always spend it on a *** talk
I don't wanna talk with a feeling
I don't wanna sit with my feelings

Come right at me and I can tell where this is headed
I wake up with you and I know where it'll end up
I don't need you like I did every winter
Always taking me way too long to recover
You keep remembering my hands around your neck
And I keep replaying it in my head

Your smell made me weak in the knees
If I keep thinking it's a game maybe I'll figure it out
Now the ringing is too loud

So **** that
This isn't an attachment
It's a trauma response
They said I need a therapist
Making up for the past again, and again, and again

I'll be honest, seeing you is a contest
And I don't wanna do it anymore

Crying my eyes out
And you keep showing me you're an empath
I'm sorry if I didn't like that

If home is where my heart is
Then I'm living in my own denial
Got no place to call home
I feel foreign in my own mind
I'm tired of living like this
Everything is hardly mine
Dreams getting smaller
The blue is getting stained
Even when I rearranged it
My name doesn't even make sense
I can't do this anymore
All things weigh me down
If home is where my heart is
Then I'm living in my own denial

I'm not stuck, I'm just tired
Even familiar places are getting foreign

I know I don't belong
I'm better when gone

My spirit is disturbed by you
Because you treated it so well
So throw me a lifeline
Is it all sci-fi to you?

Gorgeous like cypress
How do I serve you
I’m under your spell
Be my devotion

Waiting for an omen
Drowning in an ocean
Floating to the moment

Another day, another week, another year
I’m not a mess I’m just depressed
I wanna disappear
I stay inside so I can hide

Keep suppressing depression
I don’t want to see my reflection
I run to hide from the pressure
A temporary surrender

I’m not a mess I’m just depressed
I wanna disappear
Think I just need some rest

Don’t need no friend to depend on
Don’t want nobody to check on
Just me and my depression

Lately my heart feels hollow
Maybe I’ll fix it tomorrow
Until then I’ll wallow

Another day, Another week, Another year

I'll be missing you for a lifetime
but 12 months is better than none

I swore to god I'll never beg and cry
I can't see how it's anything more than a lie

And I'll be here
I won't let them all go

I'll get on fine
I've always found it easy
to hide these thoughts of mine

We both hurt
But time heals nothing at all

Selective amnesia
To keep you away from me

I'll be missing you for a lifetime

You were my oxygen and now It's hard to breathe

Wind blows, air breeze
Big change, The sky changed
Big blue into small grey
Everything turned into a speck
In a blink of an eye
No one even wonders why
Leave me there
Nurturing
And let me die here

I want all of the love back
When you're so obsessed about me and promised we'll make it work
That was then and this is now and while
You're moving on I'm breaking down

I would do anything for you but you went up and said goodbye
I would've walked through hell just to find another way
I would've stood my ground
If I knew that you would stay

You don't want me
Nothing I can do now
You don't want to try anymore

Unloving you is so hard to do
It's like fighting a god

Seeing you was so bittersweet I almost died
My heart skipped and It kept screaming, why?
I almost thought that I could change the past
I almost, but that would never really last

Whatever you wanted
Forever wanting
I hope you notice and could come around

Silence keeps me frozen
We didn't make a sound
So I hope you notice

I still can't find out
Replaying those few days over
Hoping I figure it out

I might act distant, but I swear that it's not over
Thinking about you all the time
But I need to know
Do you still care if I'm still breathing?


Am I insane
For thinking, we could've made it?
I think we could've made it

Bubbie you don’t understand
I don’t want my world to end
I spend all my serotonin on you
This past few months I keep pretending
That I’m serenading you

Say whatever you want to say but my breakdowns keep holding me from saying the truth

I did everything again just to ****** it up again
I spend all my serotonin on you
I have to use substance so that i can keep imagining me and you

Please sit down, you don’t understand
I spend all my serotonin on you
You’re trying to forget about me
I’m trying to keep you in my head

I did everything I can but somehow I ****** it up again
I spend all my serotonin on you

I’m tired of playing pretend
I want to see your smile again
And now I can’t get a word in
So please understand
I want to do everything I can
I spend all of my serotonin on you

I look good at making bad decisions
Afraid of incarceration
Never gotten permission
High on the pain
Dance in the rain
Get me away
We’re not the same
I’m all out of something to say
Anymore

I'd be lying if I say that I don't want you
I missed you dearly
But you left me
Now I'm so uneasy

Clearly

You didn't want me back
Now I'm wandering the halls picking up the pieces, no clap back

Come back
That's all I ever needed
But I know it won't be the same
But at least there's still the pieces

I'm sick of the pleases and excuses
I don't even know what I did to even feel this

Baby I keep looking at the creases for mistakes
Only thing I ever wanted was your grace

It's all over now
It's all over now
It's all over now

Let the credits die.

You're always on my mind
Didn't got a chance to speak my mind

You told me It'll past
But it's already Nov 12th

Should I give it all up?

I can't hold on any longer
I ruined my head figuring out

Should I give it all up?

Please hold me for a moment
But you left wide open
Still I'm one call away

Should i give it all up?

I'm back at where I started
I give up

You can say you hate me
But I'm giving it all up

She said I like you can you come through?
I don't want to feel that way can you pass through
Waist pressed on you while the night is alive
Thinking of ******* you in the bedroom
falling from you in a vacuum

found you online
we had fun times
crossing your mind
call me next time

loving
caring

Focus is lost
Blurring on these emotions
Think of me when you shut down

I want to go outside
But the look of the wind outside felt hard
I want to go far away
To anywhere you want

But I rather watch Peter Pan
Because I really need the distraction

I really need the distraction

Is Peter Pan on?
Because I could really use some distraction

Because sometimes, It scares me how much I think about going for a walk.

Love is a drug and I'm all out

Fill up the dosage put it on high
**** me up and let someone take me to the hospital

Love is gonna make you high

Be careful not to get too high

Because the fall

Is gonna hurt a lot.

I like the way you draw

Every stroke into those sketches

As if the passion inside of you

Could never been so deep

I like the way you paint

As your hand dances and stretches

With every touch of color

The world will ever need

I adore you