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Five minutes
What is it?
Three hundred seconds
Or two hundred and fifty
Heartbeats?
Or is ot something that
Transcends normal
Time?
In five minutes
My whole life story
Could be told
Infinite number of memories
Confined to a
Finite measure of time
So how long is
Five minutes?
So small
It cannot be measured
So large
It defies measurement
So what is it?
A fragmentof time
That you keep in
Your heart
I'm am now over twice the age I was when we lost you
It's funny to think that the time I have had without you in my life is greater than the time I had you in it
But your love and the effect you had on me will last my whole life. 
Time moves quicker than we would like, and memories become hazy
Smells, sights, photos, clothes remind us most vividly of the past
Remaining family with their stories and anecdotes from you and your life keep alive the essence of you, and remind us not to be sad that you are gone but to be happy that we all managed to meet you and have you in our lives, even if short lived.
I want that iridescent color, the kind that blinds
Fixing appearances to a crumbling ash
Stuck together with glue
A coveted silhouette

Empty.

I want the table set neatly.
As if there were no monsters hiding underneath it
As if I actually ate food there
Neatly stacked and divided

Becoming.

I want the world to smile at me, eyes forced shut
Wandering without direction
Currency in perpetual regurgitation
Locked and loaded

Security.

I want that iridescent color, the kind that blinds.
Hold my jaw shut like the hues aren't already bleeding out.
To see the reflection I've been conditioned to forget.

Truth.

-z0
Breath hot,
Face speckled,
I braided your hair
Like wheat in a dust storm.
Your shoulders,
In a position of melancholy.
Not from a loose tooth,
Not from spilled milk,
But from a notch in the chest.
Just below the breast bone.
Soon there was thunder,
There was a pounding rain.
The weather was unpredictable,
Just like the seasons,

These days.

But if anything,
This told me.

It was not my turn to cry.
 Jan 2014 Chelsea Gonzo
Lucy Bee
With every breathe I take
it hits me
Like a blank page wrapping around my bare skin
The darkness plummeting through my pores
past my blood
through my muscles
penetrating my bones
encapsulating my inner self
yet only seen through the crease of my eyes
 Dec 2013 Chelsea Gonzo
CRH
Catalyst
 Dec 2013 Chelsea Gonzo
CRH
If misguided
Love
can breed
Contempt
and contempt
can breed
Creativity
then all things
considered, sweetheart,
you have certainly
Inspired me.
'Of course I was drugged, and so heavily I did not regain
consciousness until the next morning. I was horrified to
discover that I had been ruined, and for some days I was inconsolable,
and cried like a child to be killed or sent back to my aunt.'

-Mayhew, London Labour and the London Poor


Even so distant, I can taste the grief,
Bitter and sharp with stalks, he made you gulp.
The sun's occasional print, the brisk brief
Worry of wheels along the street outside
Where bridal London bows the other way,
And light, unanswerable and tall and wide,
Forbids the scar to heal, and drives
Shame out of hiding. All the unhurried day,
Your mind lay open like a drawer of knives.

Slums, years, have buried you. I would not dare
Console you if I could. What can be said,
Except that suffering is exact, but where
Desire takes charge, readings will grow erratic?
For you would hardly care
That you were less deceived, out on that bed,
Than he was, stumbling up the breathless stair
To burst into fulfillment's desolate attic.
The moon sits on my
tongue.
Like snow, it melts, drops
of winter, cold white wine,
like I ****** the light out of a
lightning bug, lemony glow coating
my teeth.
I swallow the moon.
I swallow it like I swallow words,
raspberries to crush against the roof of
my mouth.
I want to eat all the words in the world,
every last one sitting warm and
ready in my belly, spoons of honey or
hot metal,
or cold and hard in my throat like
stones or cool cucumber slices.
I want them to
fill me, clutter my thoughts and lungs and
settle under my nails and on the tips of my
eyelashes to dust
my face every
time I
blink.
 May 2013 Chelsea Gonzo
Reece
The misty morning moaned through great spiritual fogs, while the dogs lay exhausted on the tombstone curbs. A black car crept and the driver had no hands. In the purple screaming clouds were the faces of a thousand dead birds, hawking about, calling inscrutable names, grasping at imaginary worms from the trees of the burning wood.
Where have I gone?
The grey meandering man licked his lips as sullen death encapsulated the brittle bones and every step was bringing him closer to the ashen ground from whence the monsters came. A phosphorescent haze would whirl and dance in sweet contortions, a dance for the dead, as the night fought day with ecstatic swords.

The sun is crying.
The son is crying.

Halt for the watchmen, bats in hand and gloves hanging from belt loops. Halt while the lands are molested and the peasant sneers at waves that hum and bring about simultaneous life and death.

Open the door! Open it wide.
Life is the eternally beating drum
The drum from which we hide.

— The End —