I love the sight of rain on a sad day.
You listen to the opposite of your feel good song
You listen to something with edge and feeling
Not a #1 hit.
You feel the warm water drip down you like sweat after seeing your lover.
And you take comfort in the familiar warmth
And you smile.
Then it hails but you're still not bothered
Because it's still warm
As long as the chill doesn't come then you're fine.
Then you take my hand
And nothing matters anymore.

I can keep myself occupied
I'm creative enough to keep myself from twiddling my thumbs
But what I can't stand
Is waiting for something
And knowing that it's gonna be deadly
Because boredom is deadly
It can **** off the souls of even the most eager and earnest
And we let it
Because we know how to cure it
A little bit of laughter will do
But we've banned it from the room.

How many more lives
Will we allow this serial killer to claim
Before were all victims.

I never needed a lot
A book
Some paper to write on
Good music and tasty food
But now I've found myself wanting money
Not a lot
Just enough to see you
I'm greedy to see your face
And your eyes that hold me with care
I want to hear your voice that teases me
And always tells me that you love me
Even when I don't deserve it
I want to feel you arms holding me
I'm yours and you can have all of me
And it kills me every day I don't see you
And it kills me more that the only thing keeping me away is a few euros
Something I've never cared for has become my enemy
Keeping me from you
So yes I'm greedy
But I will pay for my sins
As long as I get to spend forever and always with you

I think it's the only separation I'll agree with
The only wall I'll love to stare at
A wall of light
Separating the sky and land
They can never be one
And yet they still try to touch
I often wonder whether the horizon is what's seperating them
Or helping them to come together
Should I hate it for it's ignorance
Or love it for it's beauty
Or should I turn back for to real world
And forget my short lived love
Or get lost in it's contrast
And feel fulfilled
From its cold love.

Another year has gone by
And nothing has really changed
I'm still me
But I'm a happier version
Not a 2.0
Just got new batteries

I got a new boyfriend
He lasted 2 weeks
And my heart didn't get broken
Guess having no feelings is still my speciality
But I have had more crushes
But still not a kiss
Wow
I haven't kissed anybody all year
(Shush, my drunken self doesn't count).

And tomorrow I won't try harder
No "new year, new me"
Because that doesn't happen over night
You get motivated for a week
And that's it
I rather just start off smooth and steady
Stay that way
Maybe I'll keep my head
And next year I'll give you an update
Maybe something wonderful will have happened
Maybe I'll finally have a girlfriend and study what ever I like

But the world spun around the sun one more time
So if it can keep on it's steady course and not implode
Then so can I.

Happy New year
From myself.
I hope you find contentment
Until next year.

It felt amazing
The wind hitting me in the face
Pushing back my cheeks
While my stomach lurched
And you didn't know what was up
With my hair flying behind me
I thought my hair was going to catch in a bulb
But mines to short
And then you came to mind
Because your hair was so long it would have
And I thought of your laugh
You couldn't come today
And I thought of your lips
You were probably avoiding me
And I thought I hope we can still talk
But I'm too awkward to ask
But maybe I'll try
Maybe tomorrow
Because I'm tired from the fun fair.

Do you remember what it felt like?
You'd see other people
And how they talked to each other
And you couldn't  help the face that made it's way out
You called it sickly and cringe

And then you met the person
Who made you feel sickly sweet when they said "I love you"
And you pretended you weren't effected
But your heart pounded

What was this?
Because I never felt this before
I never missed anybody
But my bed
And now I want you to lie here with me
And I remember the feeling of pure dissapointment like never before
Because I haven't seen you in 2 weeks
And now you can't come

I can't feel your sweet lips with your hair tickling me
So I now understand why people act like that
And mind you I'll still make fun of them
But it's to show that I love you
And only you
And I miss you
So I'm sending out good thoughts
To my man in a different county.