Do you remember what it felt like?
You'd see other people
And how they talked to each other
And you couldn't  help the face that made it's way out
You called it sickly and cringe

And then you met the person
Who made you feel sickly sweet when they said "I love you"
And you pretended you weren't effected
But your heart pounded

What was this?
Because I never felt this before
I never missed anybody
But my bed
And now I want you to lie here with me
And I remember the feeling of pure dissapointment like never before
Because I haven't seen you in 2 weeks
And now you can't come

I can't feel your sweet lips with your hair tickling me
So I now understand why people act like that
And mind you I'll still make fun of them
But it's to show that I love you
And only you
And I miss you
So I'm sending out good thoughts
To my man in a different county.

It is only my first class
And yet hours have flown by
Only so many ticking of the clock
And yet
I have heard thousands of pages being flipped
And an endless tap-tap-tap-tap-tapping
What meaningless words are you typing
May I join?
What you have has no mention of
Swearing, ****** or vows
I could make it so interesting
That you would be sent to the madhouse
All the stabbings I've imagined
Just one
Maybe I'll mention your unique death wish
But there is only a few more seconds
And my next class is calling
And my next imaginary victim is screaming

Yes I do believe in destiny
Although it might seem silly
Because of 2 people brought together
They seem happy truly

They were both girls
And oh so beautiful
Each one with a spark
And I'd seem the chatting away
In a mall or in a park

I only see them now
On Facebook or in dundrum
And a few things have changed
There names for one

And they are no longer girls
But strapping young men
But they seem as happy
Just as they were then

They were both brought together
By the universe itself
But they both found there destiny
With each other, no help

And so this chance meeting
One in a lifetime
Has showed me love
Comes in all shapes and sizes

We change as we grow
And we never do notice
All the small little things
People who stay true to us

That destiny isn't for one
And love is for all
In all shape and sizes
In rain, snow and sun

I still see them sometimes
Happy as can be
And hope I can one day
Find someone like that
For me

"We want to support you through this time"
This time is now my life
I will never stop mourning
I can only try to get used to this
Empty heaviness that takes up half my heart
And you will never be able to support me through my whole life
You can't
And I don't want a crutch
But thanks for giving me a thought
For a split second that only appears when you saw me
And when you see me it's all you see
Not how happy I once was
(And am now)
But how miserable I must be
But I really am thankful
You care enough to acknowledge this happened
My own blood just swept it under the carpet
Like they didn't want there perfect friends to see
That I'm hurting
That years later I've never mourned
I have my family now that loves me
And I love them
But this thought is with at least once a day
Like a bad habit

I know there is nothing under my bed
I realise it is silly to be scared of nothing
But to me the things I dread
Are hiding with me in my bed
In my head I am scarred of the dark
I am wondering alone
On the streets or in the park
And in the carcass that is my mind
I am trudging in a minefield
And no words that are spoken are kind
I cannot convince myself to be of sound mind
And the shining of light that is day
Is course and harsh
And like a child I must play
Because to my parents I cannot say:
The day is false and I do not wish to stay
Because in the night I lie at home
And my demons play tag and chase
With the fears under my bed and in my head.

I saw a star tonight
It glistened with absolute certainty
Such I have never felt
And it made me feel powerful
If was just oozing off you
Floating like fog that you could not contain
And it seeped into my skin
And made it glow like yours
You gave me that confidence to be new
Inventive and not scarred of who I am
I am different
And powerful
And proud
And although it is a sin
Let the devil give me power
You must be because although I have never met you
Your radiance
Like a star to a child
Has given all that I need
To be myself
I will never have your confidence
But I will have the power to be myself.
Thank you for reminding me of that.