My best friend is this shovel and the hole we created together. I don't know why I have a shovel in the dining room, or why I would dig a hole here, but I did and the reason doesn't matter. All that matters is this hole. Stealing all of the attention, because when I go, I want to go in front of viewers. Not because I want to be noticed, but because this shovel and I want to prove that love is a terrific thing. I'm going to scream love into this hole of ours and jump in after it. Did you see that? Of course you didn't because there was nothing there, this is only my excuse to jump, I just don't want you to think any less of me. This man was bested by a four letter word. But, as always, it really is a pleasure to have my heart broken by you. Eventually you and everyone else will forget about me and how I jumped. Eventually everyone will just wonder where this hole came from, and who's shovel has been sitting here. They'll wonder where it leads to, leaning in closer, until they feel their own heart break and suddenly they'll wish they had never found this hole, and beg to do anything to forget that they did. And they will, until someone builds a well, because wells are happy and beautiful, and there's no way that anyone could be sad about that. Undoubtedly, your  beautiful self will stumble upon this well and you, like others, will throw your coins and make your wishes and find that every word you speak about the things you dream of, come true. Even from the bottom of this void, I will always give you the things you want. You'll find me pushing up flowers to guard every step you take. I think even your foot steps are beautiful and this way others will know it too. You'll find earthquakes every where you smile, because I plan on ripping my heart from my chest down here, but it surely won't change the way it beats when you smile. My god, I love when you do that. You'll find you're always safest here, because everyone's afraid of the way this place feels, but not you, and certainly not me. I think you'd maybe stay here for a while because anywhere is where I'll always love you, but here is where I am, and I'll always love you. From the center of the earth, I will always love you.

We don't kiss because someone taught us that two people in love are supposed to kiss. We kiss because there are moments that I see you and you see me and our lips are our only way of communicating, but the things we feel have no words, and maybe we think that putting them together is the best fix. Honestly, I don't care. Neither do you. Because I love you, and I know I use those words a lot, but if you only understood how much of my day is consumed with that exact thought, and kissing you.. Well, that's just the best **** thing I've ever felt.
                                                
I know a spot with a wall where the sunset lines the horizon perfectly. There'll be a silhouetted picture of us for the rest of our lives. Reminding us that we've always loved each other. So much, we watched the sun die with your hand in my hand.

I felt a faint sense of the electricity from my brain connect to my body. Its been over a week and I finally forgot that I had a heart. I left it on a dark road within a two mile walk through the doldrum's fierce winds and stinging rain. I wish you could've seen the sky tonight. I have the most contradictory love for the winter. I hate the cold, but it clears the shaded sky leaving nothing but small traces of artifical clouds, and tonight I saw the stars breathe again. The first day I saw my most familiar friends since the time I laid on your car in the summer. I asked these stars of mine if they thought you knew that I think they're beautiful because you're beautiful. I wondered if you knew that they only stay here because they know you're beautiful too. Even if you don't know, the stars do, and so do I. I imagined today how difficult it must be to be you. Never having the privilege of having a different set of eyes to witness what I see in you, and never having the privilege of falling in love with you. You'll never know what it's like to have your soul ripped from your body by a pair of lips and eyes and your touch. Your touch. Your touch. Your touch... Maybe to you, I'm obsessed with your touch, but you breathe because it keeps you alive and I crave your everything because you make me feel alive. I love you. I have always loved you. And today, just like everyday, I fell in love with you again, and today just like the first day, all it took was your name.

The last thing I can do is forget you, because I have kept everything you've ever said to me. I was able to pull myself away from your pictures tonight, all I had to do was cloud my eyes with saline and you were washed away and reborn again. It's been an entire 10 minutes, and I'd like to say that I haven't seen you, but I can't seem to keep my eyes open because maybe this screen is too bright, or maybe your face behind all of my thoughts is the closest to the place we called home that I can get anymore. And the last thing I want to do is forget you, because it's a full nightmare living in any memory that you didn't exist inside of. I can barely bring myself to look to my left when I wake, and you told me that I'm crazy, but my skin just isn't the same without yours against it. And every time I feel myself tear, I take another step towards the place where the salt meets the water, at least this way I know I'll be hurting myself. You see, all I want to do is forget you, because in the beginning you placed a diamond on my back, and right now all I can do is place your diamond on my smallest finger, picturing it on you. I know what I said, but the last thing you should ever believe is that this won't stay with me forever and that I'd ever tell you the way I'd ask you to marry me. I know you wanted to see it, but everything I've ever felt for you is inside of this tiny box with its tiny cushion, holding the reflection of rooms full of light, and I couldn't have you look at it like you looked at me.. It's been two whole days since I had to beg to feel those arms that fit around me so well, and mine slid into your bone structure like they were made for you, because they were made for you. There's a reason my finger tips could cure your discomfort, and there's a reason that you didn't want me to stop. You know why you're body shakes to my breathe on your back.. And it's been two whole days since you couldn't bare to not kiss me, and I can still feel the smooth of every breath you took before your lips touched mine. The thing is anyone can make you feel the way you want, but only I know how to do it perfect because I know every little piece of you and I am infatuated by it all. I planned a dinner for two somewhere we could experience the entire world in one place, somewhere we could try new things together. I bought you a beautiful dress, then another because I knew you'd be worried about how you looked in it, and I knew you'd look irresistible in both, and I wanted to capture that night for the rest of our lives. I wanted to visit the city that held the first time you should have heard the words I love you, because I most certainly did. It's been two days since time started to matter with us, and my voice brought you nothing but hatred. So much, that you wanted to hurt me. So much, that you told me.. you hate me with everything inside of your heart, and your heart is the biggest, and all of that hate is for me. What's sad is that I've been shaking for the past two hours because you're not here to make it stop. I only know three things: I love you and I would never let you down again, I think it'd be okay to die tonight, and I think I have to go now..