why must i
live
why must i
keep going
when every time i whisper
the wind steals it?
when every time i speak
teeth scatter?
just let me know
when the world is better
when the fires stop
and the forests grow back
and then maybe
i can too?

I can't do brain
I can't do thoughts
I can't do friends
And I can't do smoking in parking lots

I can't do death
But I also can't do living

I can't do anything
Except for just giving
And giving

I have no words
For the fallen

I have no feelings
For the broken

For the fallen made others fall

And the broken made others broke

So when their crescent shine
Comes to a stop
The past fallen and broken on top

I don't know the path to take
I don't know the people to trust
For they all seem amazing
But under all that ****
They're all just Ghosts

They leave me when I most need it
I should have seen right through them
I don't know how I didn't see
The Ghosts

Even when I t'was younger
I never could have been more fonder
Of the Ghosts

Growing up I should have seen
The Ghosts

I cannot stop myself from giving in
To chocolates, to candies
And I just get bigger and bigger
"One more piece"
I tell myself

There are times in stories
Where you think the story aught to end
But it don't
Sometimes I can relate that to poetry
Where the poem should end
Sound better that way
But I don't
Stop
Writing

Please let me go
I want to see my family
My friends
My people
But I know as soon as I leave
I'll go back to my room
And cry again

Why can't I ******* do this
I know I can
I know I can
But I never do it

My father tells me
That the answer is to
"Just do it"
But I want an easier way
I don't understand
Why they never
Understand

Maybe I'm the problem
The one who doesn't understand
The one who never cared
About other peoples feelings
I've been called a sociopath
A *******
But I don't think I am
Am I?

I don't want to be nothing
I don't want to leave
Maybe it's better
If the masochistic sociopathic depressed sad angry nobody leaves.

I love the imagery
Of you sitting next to me
Close to me
Being with me

For now, I love that imagery
Unfortunately
That's all imaginary