In that moment I didn't feel
I knew I was an arms length from death
I never feared or drew it near
No closer to my breath
But now it seems so sweet
Sometimes wishing that the gun had rubbed my teeth

Hi im Joe but you don't know what that means
Names seem to fit types, but friendships fit yours and those are the names that stick
I think we'll be friends but you don't know what that means because you never knew someone who cares about you not what you do
I miss you and neither of us knows what that means because we just want the opposite of what we have but we haven't had it
And I love you without knowing what my heart means because I just don't want to lose this chance to be yours
Now im in love with you and the way our hearts play but I don't know what that is because I never figured how to make it talk and walk all at the same time
As we fall apart I don't know what it means because even when I was angry I just threw it out to be with you
These fists fly and we don't know what they mean because you only see half of them and we'll never know the others
Goodbye but you don't know what that means because we were friends forever and life is different now, and without us we're missing everything we knew

Every day I need her more,
but she doesn't know because no-one ever told her so
So few appreciate all of her,
they hardly really need her,
though she's the nicotine and morphine I need,
ruining my heart from this constant racing,
and now in my life I'm fearless and strong
because she's getting me high,
telling me to go on,
but when she stops,
I'll need a jump start or
I'll jump down in my mind,
falling from her skies,
to the bottom of my mind,
landing like a saint to hell
(in a street) every morning,
with the ladder of smoke
on the fire escape up,
promising a better life,
and I'll believe it because she used to do it for me,
and something so beautiful

could never be that wrong

Nothing perplexes my mind,
except the nighttime ceiling
that has nothing but darkness in the unknown,
and in my dreams it has my mind painted up there,
beautiful like the stars through all of time,
and I always wish my dreams would come true

but they never do,
and this would be the exception,
to have my brains coating the wall,
but I can't because they showed me the one thing I could never do is paint

Here I wait and hesitate,
maybe I should do something,
change something,
destroy something
Something everyone hates,

but its so ****** late
and nothing will quite compensate
for what I've done to **** me into this self hate
so here I wait,
and hesitate