Huda - Hello Poetry

Huda Apr 2020

The Sun

I work for the moment where my mind as as clear as the rising sun.
I keep reminding myself that the sun burns to shine that bright, so it's okay to feel this in the process. The sun also knows when to rise and when to set, it's never wrong.. and my religion is telling me that if the sun doesn't rise like it always does, it is the end of the world and the beginning of the after life. Can I be as strong as the sun?
Yes, I can.
I am the Sun.

Huda Mar 2020

Write

Sometimes I wonder why I tend to almost always **** the muse in my head that gets me writing.
I've facing the sun, I've been facing the moon, I've been facing myself, and I tend to almost always avoid fear.
Fear is one of the strongest emotions I feel, and when I feel it it's real.. And by that I realize that I don't want to write because I know want to know the truth behind all the fear I hold in.
So here goes nothing.

Huda Mar 2020

Untitled

I wonder if I'm going to ever be in complete control of my emotions, I wonder if I want to have that as well.
It effects all aspects of my life, I water a flower and if it doesn't grow I get all sorts of emotion, every person I let into my life I cannot imagine ever losing them which is wrong but I feel it anyway, if the ocean is frustrated and the waves show it, I feel it too.. When it's calm I'm calm. I want to own things and this is the hardest part, starting with myself to everything I love deeply.. I have wronged myself letting my emotions take control. I cannot feel this heavy anymore, I'm too old for this but I also refuse to never feel again. What is the Grey area? I'll learn to accept it and love this color instead of black or white.

Huda Feb 2020

مرآتي

أعيش بزمان كنت أخافه، كنت ادعي الرب ان لا يأتي، أن لا أتذوق المر الذي تذوقته، أن لا
أُهزم أمام الحب، أن لا أضيع، أن لا أتوه، أن لا أتلعثم بكلمات، بحروف ليست حروفي
أقف أمام مرآتي و ارى وجهاً جديدا
وجها يرحب بآلام و يقبلها علما ان القادم أفضل
وجها يشرب المر كل صباح تهيئا
وجها هزم أمام خليلي لكن لا يخسر أمام حب النفس
وجها ضاع، تاه تلعثم تألم لكن تأقلم
وجها بشوش و صامت
الا بالمشاعر الصادقة
لا يسكت

Huda Feb 2020

Should I listen to the universe?

My hopeful thinking takes me to a far away place and time in the future, where I'm sitting around my grandchildren in a cozy home that smells of lemon pies and freshly brewed coffee.. Telling them about the monstrous time I've lived in, the cruelty of its sociaty, the brutal family I grew up with and how hideously they'd think of it living in such a good place and growing in such good homes and how they'd appreciate the feeling of peace, safety and love.
But that's just my hopeful thinking, because the universe is telling me that I'm just a man who will live a long lonely life and probably die alone, the universe is telling me that my hopeful thinking is what I think will save me but it's what will end up killing me when I'm 85. The universe lost hope in me, but I refuse to lose it. I see hope. And I still hope. I'm full of it.
And my grandchildren will read this.

Huda Jan 2020

Untitled

Take a peek, is it good enough?
Do you know what you want?
Would you rather choose for it to be chosen for you?
Do you know what you want?
Do they know what you want?
Does anyone?
Do you?

Huda Dec 2019

I've humbly lost the game

The hard, bitter realization of losing a love you've tried with all your power to save, you've lost it a long time ago but you've kept on trying.. over all the power that beholds you.. When you realize that was wrong of you because now all the memories you have left is the last bitter ones.. of the saving and losing and not the the sweetness of the beginning.. I can humbly say that I tried, beyond meaning.. I tried.
But now I have no choice but to give it all up.
It's time for the last goodbye.
For finally letting go.
unfortunately.. It's just..
The End.