The drugs hit
And for a moment the pain seems to dissipate
We're getting lit
Because it beats bothering to communicate
We're together now
But further away than we've ever been
I want out
But being stuck here is my only sin
You best pretend
That the love in your heart still reaches me
I best pretend
That I'm young, dumb and still innocent
Should I leave?
Or is that a recipe to keep you haunting me?
Should I stay?
Or am I sabotaging my joviality?
Who are we?
But carcasses for the stepping stone
Can't we see?
Being together doesn't mean we're not still alone.

Who am I?
Who are you?
Does anyone even know these days?
Am I my past, my present, or my future?
Are you a lover, a liar, or a suture?
We're ripping reality to shreds
and the chemicals in our heads
are a helluva rush, love,
wouldn't you say?
I've said a lot of words in my life
and they just keep coming,
a little too fast.
Shake that ***, let loose and have fun.
Ain't no reason for both of us to sit around ******,
underachieving low goals.
When you're ready for more,
you can ride my shoulders
and catch the stars.
We'll take them home
and bottle them in a see through jar.
I'm a little too far,
or maybe just a little too far gone,
but I've been watching from the sidelines.
I wonder if you can hear me cheering,
my fists in the air,
blaring my support.
I want nothing more than for you to be happy,
even if that means I have to disappear.
I'll pour the concrete myself while you drive to the shore.

I'm hurting myself a syllable at a time
A memory that unwinds,
But a moment in time
And maybe this is nothing
Maybe nothing is everything, all that'll be, all that screams
At me
But I don't know anymore what I believe, what I need, what I see
I'm gaslighting myself on fire, the flames growing ever higher
Holy matrimony burning this church, I'm a liar
A funeral pyre
And all I desire
A voice on the end of the line, a second in time, to make the clock unwind.
I'm a danger to myself, the worst enemy of my health
But I keep on pushing forward into the unknown,
Keep on pushing further away from you
And everything that might have been
if I had only watched my mouth.
Lies crept out between a harlot's lips
and I drank them like a sweet wine.
I'm still trying to recover everything I've ever been
But too much of it was tied to you.
And it's only now, as I pick the scab, that I see how ******* broken this all has left me.
You're laying this to rest,
While I'm laying it to waste
Away,
Forever away,
Until I close my eyes again
And trace the lines of your smile
The pitch of your laugh, your cadence and grace.
Baby, I'm an ***.
There's so much I can only say in these lines
And I doubt you'll ever actually read 'em.
Maybe that's best, I don't know, but it's all that I've got.
I've been writing the same poem for fifteen years
So yeah, I already know,
Baby, I'm a hack.

Reality slits wrists faster than lovers can kiss
I'm bending over backwards to spray out my last words
Everything I see, reminds me of her but I'm glad I still care
It's better than the reality I'm living, pitch shifting my dreams for another paycheck
I want to run away from my all my responsibilities, out for cigarettes like daddy did.
Sorry kids, I regret to inform you that I'm not bitter or remorseful
Just an *******

Here I am, barely awake and half starved
I'm exhausted of being exhausted
But closing my eyes and you're all I see
Each movement and melody
It's an exhaustive list of that which is killing me
Your hands, flat, running down the leg of your jeans
Each ******' smile pristine
I'll thank god to let me cherish this memory
And your eyes ... so alive
I'm being pulled every which way but all I want to do
Is witness you
Words come to mind like divine, sublime, fine saccharine
But in my silence I'm columbine inside
Walking a fine line between destitute pursuit and abused lewd
My insides ache for what goes on behind closed doors
Baby, I'm a ***** but I've always been more, always been yours
Always been always was
But always ain't nearly long enough these days
I've got it bad, each line I hear reminds me of you
Reminds me I'm *******
I've got a world of pain ahead of me here and I'm steering towards the median each time I close my eyes.
I don't know if you know what you do or if your words are as carefully chosen as mine.
If you do, then I guess I'm the mouse finally bleeding dry this time.

I'm lost inside my mind and this is all still happening
I can't see the path I wave, that traffic's always blinding me
But something lost in time still screams
Both on our knees, the bludgeoning
Maybe floods coming rising in
Like neurotransmitter kisses.
My wishes still far from death,
Contentment feels like a ***** with whisky breath
I'm pissy whipped and that ain't auto-correct
Go ahead, take a guess
But what you think is not relevant
Just evident
And written across your frame
And the silences we neglect.

Scared of the scared grace of your stare
I would dare, but how does one admit they care?
I'm prone to over think things, though you paint me a blank
So the gun you hold to my heart never kills.
But it does make me hesitate.
Too late, and getting older everyday,
Maybe this is a crisis,
Like the way we felt screaming out lungs out.
There's a lot I never forgot but I lack the words to share,
But it's always been there, the face and the hair.
I'm trying to be a better person each day,
But I'm a martyr with a devil on his shoulder looking for a thrill.
If looks could **** then you'd be a massacre.
My sacrament has always been la petite mort,
and the words said between.
I've managed a poem with out mentioning flame,
so maybe I'm okay,
Oh wait...

I am a void that you can't fill
So just avoid me like a ****
But remember that where your breath dwells
I'm there as well
Between the beats of your heart,
the stops and the starts
Hear me whispering your name in the dark
Like the devil on your shoulder
Ain't no angel givin' orders
I'll be the face that you see
While he's got you on your knees
Don't worry baby,
Your secret was never safe with me.

Too many words, too many doubts
And they keep pouring out my mouth
All I have are the things I say
And these, too, will fade away
Like a sigh on the breeze
Or you screamin' on your knees
The memories aren't to be trusted
They're rusted and falling apart
My heart grows two sizes too big
I kid.
Maybe we are nothing
Already all that we're meant to be
Or maybe we're everything
But just too ******' blind to see
I've been experimenting lately with giving up
But I just can't seem to master the skill
I'm holding onto hell
And I'm loving every second
I feel alive, electric, slidin' through your insides
If this fixation is only in my mind
Then I'll pretend it isn't
And bury alive
All evidence to the contrary
It's a hari-kari type of existence
Pistons churn my stomach to mush
Quicker than butterfly nets capture beauty

My whole body shivers and shakes
with every word left unspoken.
And I don't know if this fire is because I'm broken,
but I desire the funeral pyre and a 21 gun salute.
It's kinda cute, isn't it?
This pain I put me through;
or maybe it's you?
But should that be subject or object?
I guess the truth is I object the coming car wreck on the horizon.
But I haven't slowed down, so what's that saying now?
I'll only have myself to blame
but it's worth the pain
for even another minute
or a second smile.
I can't help what I feel
or the quantity of it.
I just want you to know that I ******' hate it
and love it.
So when your lips slit my wrists
my last wish is that you dug it.

Every word I write feels weak in comparison to the fire inside me
Stoked higher each day, my desire was set to expire
But the date never passed.
I'm stuck inside of myself wishing for a chance
But we left 'em in the past
And the future already seems set in stone
The fire inside will burn me alive if I let it
I'm fighting to hold my tongue for the bloodletting
But I'm betting it's only upsetting to me
Use me up and let me waste away
I would give both my faces for just one more day
Crawling on my knees to kiss at your feet
I'm terrified, nowhere to hide
Tried to write this story myself but my blood just wasn't thick enough
Wish me luck
Who ever said you only die once lied.