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Zee Dec 2024
Suicidal tendencies
Inside my brain
Will render me
Inert
A thousand times
Infinity
The threshold of
Your buggery
And tasteless fiends
We seldom see
Inside our ruptured
Appendixes
Find with peace
Our slaughtered glee
Laughter muted
Faces stuck in contorted
Glee
Like these ghosts
Now haunting me
Zee Dec 2024
The divide of time separates us like the bridges that we burned to light our nights. The warmth gained from destruction, an illusionary phenomenon at best, failed to keep the cold from biting at our young hearts. Forgive me if I stutter when I speak of our shared history. It's just that I haven't forgotten tender kisses in a video store parking lot, discount department stores, or the first touch of your *****-clad *******. I wish I remembered how everything went bad, wish I picked you over the harpy I selected. We wouldn't have lasted, but I'm nostalgic for the times that could have been now that the end draws near and my mid-life crisis reaches its apex. Like the river that named you - you drain me dead, see?
Zee Dec 2024
The curse of nostalgia
Reminding better days
From out of a past
Whence pain was forgot
The suffering of innocence
Gnashing at the leash
Holding back the progressive
Drowning in false pretense
Lying to sleep in waves
A beached whale
Choking the lungs
Clogging the veins
****** dreams, faded denim
Torn at the seam
Seamless
Zee Nov 2024
My little secret
I hold you in the arms of my mind
And beat myself senseless
For these thoughts

I am incapable of growth
I am the **** of the innocent
I am the death of love
Watch me shudder
Writhe
And contort myself
Into something resembling human

Where is the fire of hell
That I've been promised?
Take me far from here
On wings of ashen lead
Zee Nov 2024
I'm five seconds away from killing myself
So I might as well die with your *** in my mouth
Wearing your **** like glasses
**** the masses
and the massive void I'm flirting with inside

There's a darkness hidden behind every light
A pleasure behind every fight
An end of days behind every night
Zee Nov 2024
My love for you is cyclical
Sickening and sicklied

Often tinged with hate
Irate and insensate

Still got every photo saved
In a folder I can't erase
As much as I've tried

You're the apple of my eye
Poisoned, for sure
Still, I take a bite

In this moment,
I'd risk everything
Just to have you
For this moment
Zee Sep 2024
I've been a *******
Filled with regrets
And little vignettes
So woe is me

I want to apologize to people that I can't find
For things not so safe to define

I've forgotten more people than I remember
But I haven't forgotten you
Despite all the **** I do
There's still pieces missing

I'm far too old to be young
And far too young to be sentimental
Fighting with my insecurities
And chemical deficiencies

I don't know quite what I want
And expect less, less, less
If you ever read this,
I'm sorry.

I was always a mess
But it shouldn't have spewed onto you
When you need friendship, companion
And I panic and abandon.

All I can really say is
******* it.
A poem that'll never reach its intended audience.
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