It seems I'm losing pieces of you each day
Some times I can't even remember names
Pet or Christian, or whatever you were
I can't say I remember, oh no, dear God.

I sometimes wish I could remember more
But the true is you were a ******* bore
There were parts that I liked, even loved
But most the parts were pretty much dead

Sometimes I sit and let the shower run
And I try to think of times of fun
But not much really comes to mind
Was our whole relationship so ******* blind?

I'm sorry if I never thank you in praise
For the way that you helped to raise
Me out of some kind of funk I was in
But that's all you were to me and now,

Well, I guess we're done.

One, two
Just a few words
Any is better than none
The mire I've been wading through
Already got lost
Belligerent ******
Stumbling my way
In creative pain
A lack of sense
No sense of self
Shelved
Steel wool to the lying hand
Bleed free the ink
Taste the sunrise
Again
Seek answers
Buried questions
Beneath elms of green
Rotting corpses lie

The cliches are closing in
I'm running out of space in my compressed chest
No longer able to breathe
I have such a need
Such a ******* need
Yet powerless I stand before the demon's of my own making
Somewhere deep inside, slumbering
Let me wake to find some inspiration, divine
Because this purgatory is eating me alive
This liminal space where my purpose fails me
And I find myself swearing in circles
Sweating profusely
Each beat of my heart bringing me closer
To death as a failure of dreaming

Naked and alone
There's no one calling on the phone
Ain't no parents to come home
And I'm prone to breaking apart
Falling into pieces of self-absorbed angst,
Suicidal depression and apathy
I've got all these words in me... right?
So where have they been?
Won't you come out, my friend?
Tell me all your sins
The struggles within are spiraling
Don't tell me you haven't noticed
There's no one calling on the phone
***** dangles from the beard
It'll settle down
It'll settle.

And I am screaming at nothingness
My throat too raw, it only collects dust
In pools of spittle and blood at my feet
Caved in my trachea with bitter features
These **** poor creatures
Who swallow every word uttered
Rust shut my carotid, jugular and sane
I'm embarrassed of the things I haven't done yet
and I'm ashamed to find myself still wanting
The devil bowed at my feet is my own insecurity
My suicidal ideation and sense of self-worth
Tongue lapping up my disease
They'll forget you while you're here
And worship the fallen idol of your suit-clad corpse
Necrophiles pulling off pieces to ****** within
The stench of rotting flesh stiffens *****
They'll love you once your dead

*******
Myself
Dis-si-pating
The ghosts inside the hearth and the house
Screaming out
Cries for help
Reaching out
Blame
Another time for calling names
They're rushing in
And the cockroaches doth profane
This place inside this eden of my own
Award the akutagawa prize to another oppenheim'
I don't know, I've lost my mind
Death have I become? for seeking glum inside this prize
I've lost time and leads to nothingness to hide in-kind some little ****
And puddles forming most of this there is no way to disguise how
much I've found chasing dreams in the guise of a clown
Dont look for me where I can't can't be found
I'm setting out in empty clouds
And between thighs of lovers cave secrets cave I keep in
and I'm caving in the things I never said, that hollow side of the bed
That you call your own, you call uh-oh, you callous scone
with blueberry edges and
razorblade dough
I'm losing oh no
I'm losing oh no
No no
No more time for butterflies
and no more time for shallow lies
You love me not fist *****
and hollower than this wrist cuffs
Taste me in everything he ever
did to you
But to *****
My head back into the bulb socket in the pocket of a man who never knew where he was going nor began and the pain inside his head nothing less than every scratch you left
Bleedin' through his corneas, your ****** and the horniness
Seldom does a pin get pushed quite so deep
Beneath the birds and extinct bees
But watch and you'll see
The scratches on the walls

I want to ask the things that hurt but I don't want to pain you
I want to show you death, inert, but I couldn't restrain you
I want to give you what your worth, but I don't want to pay you
I wanna watch you swallow girth, fall through a hollow earth, catch cholera from dearth like a twisted ****** birth
and
Watch as I emerge, singing songs I call a dirge, where two or three of us converge, like sprouts of Allegheny spurge that there's no pesticide to purge and it is just a ****** urge that I can't seem to ******* scourge, something known to re-emerge to take my lungs and then submerge
Until
Until the blackness comes
and all is undone.