And I am screaming at nothingness
My throat too raw, it only collects dust
In pools of spittle and blood at my feet
Caved in my trachea with bitter features
These **** poor creatures
Who swallow every word uttered
Rust shut my carotid, jugular and sane
I'm embarrassed of the things I haven't done yet
and I'm ashamed to find myself still wanting
The devil bowed at my feet is my own insecurity
My suicidal ideation and sense of self-worth
Tongue lapping up my disease
They'll forget you while you're here
And worship the fallen idol of your suit-clad corpse
Necrophiles pulling off pieces to ****** within
The stench of rotting flesh stiffens *****
They'll love you once your dead

*******
Myself
Dis-si-pating
The ghosts inside the hearth and the house
Screaming out
Cries for help
Reaching out
Blame
Another time for calling names
They're rushing in
And the cockroaches doth profane
This place inside this eden of my own
Award the akutagawa prize to another oppenheim'
I don't know, I've lost my mind
Death have I become? for seeking glum inside this prize
I've lost time and leads to nothingness to hide in-kind some little ****
And puddles forming most of this there is no way to disguise how
much I've found chasing dreams in the guise of a clown
Dont look for me where I can't can't be found
I'm setting out in empty clouds
And between thighs of lovers cave secrets cave I keep in
and I'm caving in the things I never said, that hollow side of the bed
That you call your own, you call uh-oh, you callous scone
with blueberry edges and
razorblade dough
I'm losing oh no
I'm losing oh no
No no
No more time for butterflies
and no more time for shallow lies
You love me not fist *****
and hollower than this wrist cuffs
Taste me in everything he ever
did to you
But to *****
My head back into the bulb socket in the pocket of a man who never knew where he was going nor began and the pain inside his head nothing less than every scratch you left
Bleedin' through his corneas, your ****** and the horniness
Seldom does a pin get pushed quite so deep
Beneath the birds and extinct bees
But watch and you'll see
The scratches on the walls

I want to ask the things that hurt but I don't want to pain you
I want to show you death, inert, but I couldn't restrain you
I want to give you what your worth, but I don't want to pay you
I wanna watch you swallow girth, fall through a hollow earth, catch cholera from dearth like a twisted ****** birth
and
Watch as I emerge, singing songs I call a dirge, where two or three of us converge, like sprouts of Allegheny spurge that there's no pesticide to purge and it is just a ****** urge that I can't seem to ******* scourge, something known to re-emerge to take my lungs and then submerge
Until
Until the blackness comes
and all is undone.

I want to kiss and take your thigh
Between teeth your flesh I find
And I gaze into your eyes
Just like I stare at your insides
And now religion's hard to find
Show me yours, I'll show you mine
Devour you in time
Every thought that screamed your name sublime
Not another second left to waste
The way I taste your pretty face
And swallow all that's left
I'd follow you until my death
Oh baby, **** me, make me whole.

Sacrifice the unwilling at the foot of your dependence
I'm sick of what I tend to see, all this could end for me
And what would I leave behind?
Besides the pretty corpse and finance woes.
Because my so called legacy seems like **** to me,
I'm not so sure I can keep up with what I want to be,
need to be so much better than myself,
and without some help, how the hell do I get there?
Pen to this page, at least I can sort a bit out
and shout shout ******* shout
without the open mouth....
Memories of misery from the future filter back into my brain
and I can feel all the pain, feel all the pain, feel all the pain feel
all
the
                                                                                                            pain
inside my brain in driving me inside and in ways I can't write I loss sleep at night thinking about a blue face wrapped in ways wrapped in waste wrapped away riiped away riped awy ripppeddddaway...y
                                                no more smiles
                                                      please

What am I and where have I been?
Time is looping once again
and folding back in on itself
it seems to be, or rather to me,
that the spiral theory is proving true again.

I don't know if I'm fully innocent,
or satan-sent or sinner's breath
or whatever the **** I am,
I guess I ain't frankly know ****.

Yet I'm dissecting sections of myself,
metaphorically in this particular case,
and trying to get to the bottom of this...
this medical-spiritual experience that has been
ripping itself forth through my reality
like a ******* hurricane through Galveston.

Perhaps with enough illumination
certain features of the creature called me
will come to light and brighten up my days.

Who's to say?
I'm certainly not.

I will fill you with shame,
And devour the taste in leaves on the roof on your mouth,
the roof of your being
                                       and all your insides
I             lie
   won't
Don't confuse the toilet lickers with the boot lickers
Don/t confuse the pigs with civility
Check under your seat, we're giving away tax burdens and SUVs,
bean bag bruises and shattered teeth

Everything's burning,
waste time on an edit and find yourself locked away by a prison state of grammar nazis.