I'm screaming in seconds like transparent orbs
The words of intoxication blend my speech
Until my mind is barely making sense
Of the reality I've lost touch with.

I question myself and my everything
And every single movement like a weather vane
Capturing the winds of my attention
To lesson my mentions and increase the tensions.

I ain't so sure about myself as I once was,
Maybe it's all of the drugs or the lack thereof.

Hate to be a bore but I'm looking to score,
But I ain't sure if we're playing hockey, tennis or soccer.
Never suffer a witch or burn a martyr,
Especially when they're the supplier.

Ain't much of a liar but then I ain't ever been much for the truth neither.
I'm teething and biting the ***** of this so called life and I drink what I like, no matter the color.

Deep down and somewhere under, I shudder at the thought of what could be if I would stop speaking in metaphors and open up my energy in a direct application.
But since that's just a fantastic, too apt destination, I might as well shut my ******* mouth and finish this poem.

But I never know when to quit,
So last verse is dedicated to you...
Whatever the ******* are.

I got a head so big no halo fits me,
Don't **** with, ****, fight, or kiss me
I've got **** for breath, yeah I'm smoking whiskey
And baby's breath sweetly sings my medley.

I'm torn up and exacerbated,
Exhausted, but hey, I just masturbated,
So come quick, and see the Eden I painted
Before the pigs leave it ******' tainted.

I'm angry, I'm scared, I'm happy, I'm feared;
I'm everything you could want to be, wrapped up in a blanket weaved from my own neurosis.

I want to see your pretty face all black and blue,
Maybe a dash of red or two;
This part of me
It hates you
                     but what else is new?

Don't hesitate when the gang **** gets to you,
The pigs go marching two-by-two
Crushing freedom under the boot-
Licker's salivating watch.

Write words, curse and chase the hearse
Swerve, first, into oncoming traffic
And see which way my head goes when it hits the pavement.
Maybe that's why I got a bike instead of car,
Har-de-har-har.
I'm ****** up but lately it's just the chemicals in my head,
Not really any fresh ****.
I don't know if that's refreshing, or just ******* deafening,
But I'm really doing better than ever before,
Yet some things never change and I still feel like a *****.
Nevermore, the show must go on,
So how about a pyrotechnic display.
We'll just call it an accident when my career burns to the ground.
But *******, it's really hard to focus lately and not sure I even want to.
Do I want you?
Do I want to...
Hide away in some getaway and get on the way to a family and show and tell what knowledge fell into my lap,
maybe even a goat or two and a world of ******* beauty.
Or maybe I'll stay left askew, questioning you and tearing everything you love asunder, drowning it under entitlement and **** fits and another hit - literal and figurative.
But that really doesn't feel like me, so this isn't really a coin flip, a dichotomy or anything but a fantasy.
Though that's all words ever really are; from being hit with a car to smoking joints under sparkling stars.
Whether figurative or literal, they only exist in your head.
So take them to bed, wake up and seek something physical and animal,
While you're at it smoke a bowl or two,
We'll cut and rip and slaughter, too,
Only in the games we bother to,
Then go and make some art and *****,
Learn to pick apart our problems, too
And in the end, open hearts;
through, through.

I want to love you but your killing yourself
Ain't no screaming for help
Because you taught yourself its okay
But when the windshield cracks
And the glass cuts your neck
Are they really the kisses you wanna get?

Baby I'm wet
And I'm tired of slipping in your blood,
Screaming why at the sky
Pulling out my hair
And losing another could've been, should've been
Isn't.

Make pretend that you're happy
And lose some friends in the process
Losses ain't so hard to take
When you're brains dying
So convince yourself your flying
While you crash land.

What is this?
Am I mad, do tell?
For letting me
Drag me straight through hell.

What is this?
A pile of *******?
Another trip inside my head
Where devils reside and satyrs grin?

There's cuts under the collar
Another superlative grin again
The summoning of dividends
And whiskey breath that reeks of gin
Do pass a kiss and face the chin
Down the gallows sweet caress, le fin.

Rumble *****, the devil's in
Will whip me through the flesh again
And be this so, on this here night
He'll take my life, he'll **** my wife.

The words are seldom quite so strong
But the bottle helps to carry on
As I face my fate, what I've become.

I can't slip out of the noose around my neck
You better check to see if I'm still wallowing before you come hollering
I ain't got nothing but bad dreams and she screams in technicolor verses
The curses that nip at my feet have taken me to a place where even the **** of my innocence seems sacred
Face it
We lost the bet and are both running naked and we're complacent in the lies being spread
The words never said
And the bottom of the bottle's been the only thing we've ever known
I've lost control, ready to swallow any ****** 'cept the rope's too tight and only the first hit was free
Come on and walk with me into the sea until the waves cover our heads and the voices of the dead are the only sounds in the deep
I ain't got enough sleep, toss and turn like forefathers
Dig a shallow grave for the lie of my creativity
I'm stealing baby Jesus from the nativity so he can save my soul but even he can see it ain't nothing but a hole
I've lost control and my limbs are still shaking
If this was a suicide note, would it make a difference?
Bow before my diffidence, a defier of logic that fires illogical neurons to connect disparate pieces of myself with the last breath to leave my chest
Even I'm sick of my own ****

We're burning each other on the roofs of our mouths
Too tired to shout,
I've been rewired and reprogrammed to chase dreams
And aim for the jugular when I teeth, speak or ****
But I got this thorn in my side in the shape of an angel,
Me, a sinner, never-ending self-inflationist with an ego problem and too much confidence for his wellbeing.
I'm hard of hearing when we're speaking ******* but your body screams louder than words,
though it's mostly verbs, if you catch my drift.
I'm pretty sick but not like coughing out my chest and stabbing a toddler for a pack of toilet paper
More like my head doesn't fit and all of the **** it's spewing seems imaginary
Don't let me get carried away here, I had a point I was trying to make
But saying I love you doesn't come easily to me in the case of my demons
They're breathing, skin and blood and bone and ringing phones with nobody home
You know I should be working but it's all that I do so lets take a moment with these words
And let them trace over your skin like fingernails and gentle tongues
Or **** it, we can get lost in the blood
Two animals clawing away any trace of their humanity
Flesh meets spirit, we let the world slip away
Into another hazy maze
With emotional highs and lows, though much more stable
We upgraded from that basic cable drama ****