Used to talk about the winds of change
Blew so hard dreams out of range.
A poster child for too much too fast
A lifestyle that can’t possibly last.
Too many regrets and not enough memories
Shame in my heart makes me weak in the knees
That girl
was never what I wanted to be
That girl
has replaced my identity
This cycle of mistakes than cycle of forgiveness
All because of one innocent kiss
That turned into too much too fast.
Now is my present my future my past
A definition hard-pressed to overcome
Is this an experience I will learn from?
My value is priceless I know this for fact
But what happens when imagined reality turns into act
Does it count? Deduct worth? Hold steady forever?
May have blacked out once but forget it never
Smile on my face song in my heart
Has become the biggest lie, what a false start
My life lacks truth, commitment, and redemption
I need self-control and freedom from temptation.

Gossamer ghosts
Of what is longed for
In the soul
An ideal tried
To be forgotten
With the aid of poison
And the thump of a beat
Woken by
The thump of a book
Slamming the desk
Bringing me back to
Heavy boots
A heavier heart
The long for a fresh start
And still no resolve
No solution or direction
My loneliness spreading like a
Contagious infection
Except it goes
Past the clock
Over the line
And it
Cuts
So deep
But I’m too numb to notice
Like Novocain
Piercing my brain
While my eyes
Ice over
And my feet shuffle
To the beat
Of silence
I float for hours
A balloon unattached
But no holiday here
Trying to feel concrete in where
I stand
And though my boots are heavy
They don’t stick