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You thought you broke that day
You thought you broke straight in half alongside our history

I thought I saw a vision of heart ache
Completely separated from reality
I couldn't bear watching you fall

And yes I apologize a hundred times
Because I was not strong, nor am I still
But I was not strong enough to keep you up

I was still falling down
I would have pulled you down at twice the velocity
Creating an atomic bomb like effect that would sweep everyone we know and love
Continuously destroying ourselves in the process

They told us just hold it in, **** it up, stick it out
No one takes into consideration the misery of two people in love and in hate under one roof
Until we embrace in an irreversible head on collision

I've never hit so hard, you know

I've never questioned my sanity and decisions more

Before you, there was clarity
And before you there was certainty
Before you I was living as though I could never die

And after you... it seems as though I already have
After you I can't even stiffen this upper lip enough to explain my sorrow
My passion... my regret

After you there's just a memory
Just a silhouette lurking, stalking, suffocating me
Consistently reminding me:
This is heart break
This is loneliness
And this is what you did

Can't shake a shadow

But some days, while I pass our old apartment
Exposed piping, high ceilings
Just what you always wanted
I'll reminisce, chest heavy, head numb
I'll remember that what we had was real

I was real, you were real, love is well alive and real
Tell me it was real, wasn't it?

Beacuse you can lie, and scream and deny for eternitys
But the way I held you when you shattered to pieces
And by the way you glued yourself back to help rebuild me
That's reality and that's definite

That was us
 Jan 2014 Хейли
Maddy Myers
 Jan 2014 Хейли
Maddy Myers
it's 4am
woke up to no one there
i want to die
i don't really understand the reason
i just do
it's okay though
someone cares
i tell myself these things
maybe i just want them to be true
 Jan 2014 Хейли
When you wrote a short poem, you were in the mood for a quickie.
Meant you had no patience for me and didn't want my attention.
You got a short attention span, lack of patience and you hurl insults.
Wish you really loved me like I loved you, what you love is money.
Felt dead for years and missed the sweet you that went slow making love.
You lost interest when I lost my job for a few months, you hurled loser.
You did not want to be tied to a frigging loser, died inside dozens of times.
My heart ache was his gain, you met your lover boy in the stables.
Tried like hell to keep you happy, you did not want that from me.
You only wanted it from him, he had a good job but not like me.
I can't get back what I felt for you once you hurled insults at me.
You got dollar signs for eyes and money centered.
 Dec 2013 Хейли
 Dec 2013 Хейли
motion -           one side
                             ­                                  -another
pull the blanket
                     we're in a tent
                     our tent.
No one else can come in.
Your fingers go all the way
           ­                             spine
                            ­             then
 Dec 2013 Хейли
 Dec 2013 Хейли
falling for you.

— The End —