Lost, like the birds
That pass me in the sky.
Forgotten, like the dreams
I loved until I opened my eyes.

A wisp of words
I meant to write.
A wonderland that
I wished to see.
None of it compared to him.

At times I feel like glass
Clear, easy to look past
Growing weary I'm cautious
On well worn paths

At times I feel like glass
All is well,
But my life is connected by cracks

At times I feel like glass
Open on the ground, shattered
I am paying a price
With a torn heart, bruised and battered
Pain is simply a vice

After these times, I don't feel like glass
But instead blip on the world
Bold and happy enough -like them, but gone in a flash

If I told you
That I was empty,
Would you fill me up?
If I told you I forgot how to see,
Would you be my memory?

If I told you
That I shattered,
Would you show me the shard that mattered?
If I told you I lost my words,
Would you find them tucked between my lips?

If I was in love with you,
Would you love me too?
Oh, if only I told you...

I've often stared
Into the
Glassy eyes
Of bouncing rain

It is to soon
Their misty blue
Becomes a brooding
Black

Shadows grown
To deepest sorrow
And open horror
As rain runs
Red

There in the dawn
Was a breath of wind
That fanned across my heart.
And I ached then -as I do now-
To know those words again.
So they could see my ocean of water nymphs
And my sky of flitting fairies.
So they could see the world
I imagine.

I careless mistake
A smile that's sweet, tender,
And utterly fake

Drawn into loops
That spiral down
The flower can't help but droop

It was the rain
That showered before the sun's eye
Offering a rainbow to end my pain
If I let go of the lie

Blue eyes and purple lips
Drowning
Frozen in the ice, on display

Red nails and white tips
Burns tear through my face
Flames dance on my arms

Ice and Fire
Empty and desire
The prophet and the liar

Can't wake you,
Sleepy head, so dream well
And I'll sleep too

My star, you've broken me
Your smile, your tiny hands,
So much I can't see
How sad love can't resurrect
More than memory

No need to open rainy eyes
There is no comfort in lies
Denial you were born
too,
And now both
Deserve my heart to mourn?

Can't wake you
Sleepy head, so dream well
And I'll die too

I am the only demon
That will show you my horns
-you can run-
Because I will
Always find you

I am the only demon
That will love you
And keep you safe
Because we kindled the
First flames of hell together

I am the only demon
That will spear you with my tail
And raise you
Because you'll always ask
To do it all again

Sleep
Calling to me
But my hands are click-click-clicking

My head throbs, but
Pain is a small price
For this addiction, my sweet bliss

Sleep
Reaching for me
There's darkness that I need to see
But my mind is tick-tick-ticking

I should crumple the page,
Erase all the words,
But I'm in a foolish age
And their flying from me, free as the birds

Flames will lick you up.
Angels will throw you down.
There's blood in your cup,
And in that blood you will drown.

When the smoke clears
And the moon comes out to play,
You will watch your fears
Rise. The skeletons in your closet will come to stay.

The world will be consumed in a lie,
And you will take the blame.
The layers of shame
Are the only truth to you.
When the end of the world comes
I promise no matter what you do
You will die.

If he smiled just like you
If he only had a clue
Maybe I could love him too

Haven't said a word
But I've listened to it all
You were the only one I heard

If I'd said something not smothered in a code
If my eyes didn't drown themselves in you
My insides might explode

I can only hope that
Maybe if you knew
You could love me too

A prison without prisoners
A key without a lock
Me

I keep the gun without the bullets
I hold on without my fingers
I have the chest without a heart

There's no play, but I got the part
There's no song, but I have the lyrics
There's no love, but I can't hate you

A clam without a pearl
A fire without a flame
A world without me...

Pitterpat
Feet on the floor
Lost prints circle the dust
Of yesterday
Rich thoughts go sour. What poor
Words to say.

Pitterpat
Such a small sound
Way up here
And way down there
But stones pile on stones
To build a case around my heart

Pitterpat
I've waited years and
Didn't even know.
Waited to sneak out the attic door,
And out the only window,
To escape my little
Prison.

I can still see those eyes
Pleading, that voice cries:
"Hold your tongue, hold your lies!"

I was banned
From words
From holding your hand

I can still see those lips
Falling, a smile slips
Then that voice that whips

I can stare
Forever, but I'll see nothing there
Only silence claims the air

I wish it was winter
I miss the sound
Of the trees that splinter

I wish it was cold
I miss the winds that
Swept my hair, the winds were bold.

I wish it was snowy
I miss the downy flakes that
Kissed me slowly

If we can't last the night
Promise our explosion will be bright
Promise we can take their sight

They're a slave
To this agony
We're losing the brave

If we can't last the night
Promise we'll do one last deed that's right
Promise we'll take flight

They're a fire
In their righteousness
We're losing oxygen, beginning to tire

If we last the night,
If there is another day we can see,
Promise you'll **** me

***** out the candle
Jump off the edge
The only thing she couldn't handle
The only promise she crossed her fingers

Mother would like to think a spirit lingers
Nothing else could keep her here
The bee with a deadly sting
The hooded man instilling fear

Father would like to never die
He says he won't so he doesn't cry
He says he'll float around the sky
He says a lie

I would like to not know death
I can't stop to imagine a moment without thought
I would like to hold onto every breath
But I won't win this war I fought

The walls will cave
The fire will consume
We'll lose the brave
And stay in our tomb

I've climbed these hills
With sorrow in my heart
But -oh! What wild thrills
That soon I reach the top
Still there lie another after
And never will it stop
How agony is bliss
When with you
Our love a simple kiss

I want to say it all
I want to free the birds
Trapped in the tower's hall

But I can't open
The windows anymore
I can't free
Them to fly
And no one can release me

But I'll smile
For now, because prisons aren't forever
And it's already been a while

Why is the sun shining
When your away?
I'm not whining,
But shouldn't it be a rainy day?

I'll wait at the windowsill
Until I'm old and slumped
And if you don't return my heart will never heal
And if you know me at all, you'll know I never jumped

They can put you in the Earth
But I know you'll rise
Because there can't be worth
Without those lies

I've never seen something
So full of nothing but
The sky
Just one unwavering eye
Crying out through the birds
Sharing its sadness
And story
The sky
Is its own in its glory

I think love
Is perfect

I think love
Is a beautiful thought
Of a perfect world
Where nobody fought

I think love
Would be easier
If we were blind

The words seem broken in my heart
Glass that cuts me open, and
Makes me bleed
Without them knowing

The words seem lodged inside my throat
Unshed tears,
Sobs I'm choking on

The words seem to make me whole
But they are my shortest bliss,
They are the whisper of a song

So many days,
Years of moments collided.
Lifetimes
Spent spitting out words.
Like venom,
Like honey.

So many colors
And stars that fly across my vision.
Filling me up
And pouring between my teeth,
Broken from their dam.

So little time
Before it went grey
And rocks were crashing from the sky.
Before inspiration had left
And my pen seemed to always waste it's ink.

I've seen it all a million times
I don't have the right to say it
But I'll hide it in the rhymes

You've broken up your heart
And tried to smash mine too
You don't want me hurt, but you don't want to be set apart,
The only one with a clue

You've given me
A faulty piece
The one you don't want, and never really see
The one that says we'll all just cease
To be

Mist
Rolling in and over
Hidden stories
Keep me up until
I lose one day and the next

Laughter
Ringing, singing, pinging
Around in circles in my mind
Under my eyes

Maniac
Staring into the static
White noise, falling from my mouth
Tapping, breathing, clicking.
Collected life in three's
Patterns, turning, spinning in a kaleidoscope
Just a soul, fingers, a bottle dripping ink

Quiet wishes on a star
That explodes. To far
Away for me
-for any child's heart to see-

Open doors
Are to silent when they close,
And leave you burning with your sores.
There is no lapse, no brief repose
From the mourning of a dream.

It was a slow rip
That was breaking the seam.

A quick quiver of the lip,
And in my eyes, a rising gleam.

The broken shard
You pulled from my chest,
Leaving me with an aching scar.

I'll let the summer wind take my pain
And let it be washed away by my rain.

Sinking in deeper, drowning.
Smiles slip, glass falling from their fingers.
So much anger, but they're not even frowning...
So absurd that the smile almost lingers.

Flying is taking a fall
The wrong way
Losing it all
But wanting to stay

Crying out the tears
Is getting clean, taking a shower
It's having the power
To be seen, to overcome those fears

Bent corners
To mark the places I wanted to stay.
The memories I visited
Each day.

Little rips
Where life was exciting, a breath
From those lips,
Or arms of death.

Whispered words
Of a life on wings,
That I heard
The pages sing.

You scream what you know
They want to hear
But I know your whispering
Something else..
Help

Throw your hands up
So they see surrender
Written on your palms
But I know you have a message
On the other side..
Help

A knife. Cold on your wrist.
Crossing out the words
But I know your hoping they'll
Pick though the fragments left behind..
Help me

Does the sun fly up high
Just to be alone, to cry?
Does he call out to his children?
Help me. Save me.
While alas they are already gone.
And does he fall down on his knees
To hear the Mocking birds and feel the sting of the bees
While he drowns in his tears?

We are flying
Or
We are dying

We are bursting with joy
Or
We are subjected to an evil ploy

There's either something more
Or
There's a war

What time do we leave for taking a breath
Or
Mourning a death

Sometimes I think
Spinning is the greatest pleasure
Of a world drowned by ink

Sometimes I know
That I have to stop pressing
At dead ends, those places where I shouldn't go

Sometimes I feel
As though simple words
Can heal

Sometimes I don't want them to close
I want to chase the end forever,
Wherever it goes

If love is like the wind,
Does it whip my hair
In front of my eyes,
Blinding me?
Or does it knock me
Down?

If love is like being drunk
Will it leave me
Searching for a foggy memory,
A distant mystery
That haunts me with a headache?

You've thrown the petals in the breeze
Now watch them flutter
And float on the seas

Here them crying
As they drown,
As they're dying

And know -always know-
You were not alone,
We all have let them go