Hapless Writer

Hapless Writer Aug 2019

Deep red skies
And the glow in your eyes
Like the northern lights
Immerse in my soul
With no control
It overflows
As my abdomen flutters
In this scorching summer
Without a slumber
Waiting for the day
You’ll finally say
That you’ll choose to stay

Hapless Writer Aug 2019

Relief

You finally texted me
And I stopped sweating
The wrinkles on my stomach went away
The moths in my gut escaped that way
And the butterflies stayed
I was relieved

I thought you hated me
I thought I’d have to live
With this feeling in the dark
The feeling of not knowing where to start
If you still cared
If I pushed too hard
Then there you were
Now it’s no longer a blur

Hapless Writer Aug 2019

Not A Poet

Why is it so much easier
To write when you’re sad?
It’s like you get gifted
With words you never had
You get so inspired
To express how you feel
Even when you’re not a writer
You just want to reveal
These emotions of sorrow
Then you want to borrow
A pen to write what follows
The words you wanna swallow
So that you can stay sane
And hope to feel less pain

Hapless Writer Aug 2019

Break Me

I knew my heart was in danger
But I didn’t care
I knew I couldn’t change her
I was prepared
But what she made me feel
Was so unreal
Every heartbreak was worth it
And in the end
My heart’s still broken

Her affection
Ill always want more
She’s my addiction
That I crave for
Why’d I let her in?
I knew I was playing with fire
But what she had to offer
Was my desire

I’m not stupid
I can read her actions
She tells me she loves me
Like a mutual attraction
Making me feel like a queen
But I know it’s part of her routine
She played me like a game
And I let her
I’m practically a beggar
To make myself feel better
Even though I know
She doesn’t feel the same

Hapless Writer Aug 2019

The Truth

You don’t have to lie to me
I can take it
If only you can see
That I am worth this
Quit playing games
And making me think
That I’m not lame
Ill just take a drink
to numb this sorrow
Of not knowing
If you’re actually fake
I'm stuck here thinking
That you actually like me
When your acting
Like you’re already
Over this phase
Say it to my face
So I can erase
This fantasy that I placed
So close to my heart
Just so I can be shot like a dart
And left alone in the dark
I should just accept it
That we should be apart
We’ll never be together
Though with you
All I want is forever.

Hapless Writer Aug 2019

My Poison

“Bad habits never die” is what they say
That’s why I find myself coming back to you
Through hardships and sorrows, night and day
You’re the one and only thing I turn to
With all of the broken promises I made
My feen for you will never fade
Addiction is a lifelong battle
If only it could all unravel

Hapless Writer Aug 2019

Girl

They said to wear a dress
They said to wear heels
They said to wear make up
But they don’t know how I feel

I’m supposed to like boys
I’m supposed to make you proud
But I’m sorry momma
I had to come out

I wanna stay true to myself
It ain’t easy being this way
I didn’t mean to hurt you
Forgive me for being gay

I was born different
I know you don’t understand
But this is my statement
I’m sorry it didn’t go as planned