From making people laugh to hiding in depression,
From being a mere book lover to a bookworm,
From trying to actually doing,
From walking to being a rider,
From an onlooker to a photographer,
From being a son to a father.
This is me

It is easy to identify a happy soul from a crowd. The same to a depressed one. I don't know my state when I am writing this piece, I am alone and tired.

A lot of days to remember though no traces left behind,
With no best pictures of me or you  on the wall,
An empty house I now call splendid home,
I can have pretty a lot to say about those times.

At the bus stop no one is waiting for you I wonder,
At home no meal is being made ready for you,
No kisses goodnight anymore,
No face pinching or even patting our old cat.

Amongst the things that brought joy my life,
You were the best and I cherish you every day,
It is not each day that passes without me being so wishful,
Bringing me back together in the times we had and the house shouts.

It is silent now and I cannot look back my dear,
What a noise we made, what a fool you made out of me,
The dogs are out barking aloud can't you hear?
So as the wind billowing and carrying us far away.

Who are you my dear friend, looking in the mirror?
Are you simply admiring your eyes or are you searching in them answers you seek?
What do you see in those eyes?
Is it hope, happiness or love?
Or is it pain, delusion or absolutely nothing?

No matter what I see when I look into the mirror,
I hope I project all that I am,
I hope my vision is not blurred by fears, expectations and disappointments,
I hope my eyes are not blinded by the misty nonsense that I carry from someone here and there.

But how much I can be,
I hope when I look into the mirror again,
I will see nothing else, no one else but myself.

People are like stories.
Different kinds, different durations,
Different endings.

I think of some and smile,
I wish for some never ended,
I try to distant myself from some,
And try to keep some so close,
That it blurs my vision.

Some feel so real, some feel like a blown bubble by the sun at night,
Some held my hand and made me feel alive,
Others made me realize the parts of me that had long been dead.

I want to place the memory of some in my wallet,
And I regret reading some.

Why do you lead me back in 2003 oh sweet mind?
Why do you always have to remind me of my brother that died suddenly,
Why do you have to bring up my stubborn years, my father and silly cousin?
About how we discovered that paper ball was the best game,
Take me somewhere else please...

Perhaps you should take me on a journey down and what is happening now,
Teach me on ways to becoming better,
Oh sweet mind, what is it that is always there in the past?
Friends I have lost, some I no longer speak to,
Ask me to call one or two, chit chat about the present and the future I hold.

Oh sweet mind please be reasonable,
Be wise and make me understand what happened is just but a memory t by,
Make me plan my future and live my present with this little I got,
Oh sweet mind don't be this weary,
Dont hold that torch in that dark cave anymore,
Come out and see the sun's light so massive,
It's glory from the east and shining on everybody.

Oh sweet mind your fruits have ripened,
Call up mama one and many times as before,
Make her your friend as she was once,
Help her out, you're all she's got remember?
Oh sweet mind, stop thinking that your time is so near when the whole future belongs to you.

"Its a depressed world anyway" that was the last I heard from him,
The next day we found him hanging with a note in his jacket pocket,
No one knew what the note said, for it was engraved in ancient Mandarin,
The 14 words took him away for a night, then it was forever to the other side.

"Its a depressed world anyway" was the last thing he said to me after I said I was sorry,
He's stubborn and doesn't listen but I loved him,
He loved me too I guess,
He loved our child too.
He loved my boy too.
He called him Daddy a few times.
I don't remember his smile.

"Its a depressed world anyway" was the last he said.