Beauty is pain
She says with a smile
And tells herself to stay sane
While starving herself for style
And building the perfect mask
To hide her ugly face
Hoping that no one asks
What's behind the paint and lace
A broken girl
With shattered dreams
And flattened curls
That used to gleam
Who isn't what she seems

I am whatever you want me to be
Completely under your control
I become what you want to see
But inside it takes a toll
Constantly pulled in different directions
A slave to others imaginations
A life I let you choose
A life that I hate
But I am too afraid to lose
So your appetite I sate
Until you've devoured me whole
And I'm left without a soul
So I pick myself up
Piece by piece
Like a broken glass cup
And wonder what it leaves
Who am I without you
To tell me what to do
And as soon as I'm whole
You show up to break me all over again
To devour me whole
And shatter my soul
Then you leave me to put the pieces back together alone

In the land of shattered dreams
Shadows follow my every step
Demons gather around me in reams
As Dancers leave blood where they've leapt
Frollicking through meadows of gray
While picking bouquets of death
On a dark cloudy day
And with each shaky breath
I take the darkness in and exhale with ease
In the land of shattered dreams

All that I desire
Is a bit of your fire
To keep me warm
Inside the storm
My fire is now an ember
Burnt out in a cold December
Just a little of your light
Would keep my fire in sight
Just a little of your light
And I wouldn't have to lose this fight

Misunderstood and forgotten
Twisted into a monster of words
A piece of fruit left to go rotten
Rejected by even the birds
Degenerate, ugly, and hated
Dismissed before the words even fall from my lips
My thoughts left unstated
Unloved, ignored, torn full of tips
Used and abused over and over
A slave to my very own torture

Words thrown so carelessly
Words that stab
and burn so vigorously
But you still deliver the jab
intended to only hurt for a while
But your words are a poison
Delivered with a smile
And a pain that begins to worsen
To bury itself into your soul
And live deep in your heart
Every happy thought it will spoil
Until everything feels empty and dead
You may appear fine
But there is a war being waged inside of your head
Why did such a small thing
Mean so much to me
When the person who said it feels not a sting
Why must I be the one to pay this fee
Such a small phrase
Barely a sentence
Will haunt me the rest of my days
And there is no repentance
That can make this pain go away
All this because of these words that you said
And now with me they will stay
I won’t be free until I am dead.

I tell myself to breathe
As I feel my mind crack
Trying to hide behind my sleeve
As the wave hits me with a smack
A thousand emotions become one
The pressure builds inside my head
And then I come undone
And remember what I said
Just breathe
I try but it's too late
My mind starts to retreat
And I'm stuck in this state
Of grief and pain
I start to cry
The tears fall thick as rain
And I don't know why
But it hurts
Until it finally stops
Leaving me with nothing but a tearstained shirt
That I use to mop
My face and wipe my eyes
While praying that nobody heard my cries

Today my forest is dark
The birds have gone silent
And it stinks of rotting bark
The branches are twisted and violent
All the leaves have fallen to the ground
And the flowers lay withered and dead
Every vibrant color has browned
And not a single word is said
I just want to lay in bed
And forget that my forest is dead

Sometimes words fail
To Express the full rhapsody of living
The feeling of a boat setting sail
Or simply the sensation of breathing
The overwhelming grief of loss
And all encompassing joy of love
the smell of rain soaked moss
Or the first flap of a baby dove
Each sunny day
And tear soaked night
The kind words others say
And the harsh ones that bite
Sometimes the most beautiful thing
Is the feeling that the words cannot bring

Is there anybody out there
Staring up at a star filled sky
From a place far from here
Does my star fill there eye
Or are they staring down at the stars
That dwarf me in size
Insignificant compared to the likes of Mars
Are they extremely wise
To they protect and provide aide
Or simply stare down at something they may not have made
Do they hear our pleas from the ground
Or are they deaf to our screams
We could never know in our wildest dreams
But isn't it fun to think
To contemplate the importance of our existence
Though short we want it to mean something
Even if it is only our own insistence
That makes it worth anything
It still helps to soothe the inevitable sting

I never noticed the house
Growing smaller in the distance
In my happy haze I frolicked away
All the while ignoring my minds quiet insistence
It wasn't until I began to sway
That I heard what my mind
Was trying to say
Don’t stray too far from the comforts of home
But I had not heard
I wanted to roam
I flew through the field
Like a bird
With my beautiful wings unfurled
But now my wondrous wings are broke
They were not mine to keep
My eyes well up and I start to choke
All alone in a field I weep
The road back home was much too steep
The porchlights turn on in that faraway house
I watch the silhouettes of people I once knew
Then look down at my tearstained blouse
Those people watched me as I grew
But now our time together is through
If only my wings were not broken
I could fly back to that far away house
If only I had listened to what my mind had spoken
I wouldn't be sitting in a lonely field frozen