Drip, drip.
The tears are streaming down your neck.
Shut your eyes and don’t you dare shed another tear.

Drip, drip.
Your nose is bleeding.
Wipe it off and clean the trail back to your chaos.

Don’t show us your weakness.
We’ll shout in mockery of your fears.
We’ll shout making your ears bleed.

Don’t make a mess and wipe your blood off the floor.

Drip, drip.
Look at you.
What a shame.

Your head is flooding again.

Fear holds a mighty power.

It over weighs the heart.

Break down.

Dig deeper.

You’re getting strong holding yourself down.

Look up.

Get weaker.

Your body is aching and your arms are getting sore.

I long to present myself to you as a glass of water.

Clean and clear.

Quenching your thirst.

I wish I could seep between the corners of your mouth down to your neck.

Living in a little pool between your collarbones.

The fact of the matter is all I am is this water I'm trying to hold between the palms of my hand.

I present to you this tainted water from the shallow wells within me.

Salty and bitter.

It’s leaking and I can’t hold my arm out to you any longer.

It’s leaking and it will leave my hands cold and shivering.

We were lost souls colliding.

We were lost souls that have found what we were too busy to search for.

Under the night’s sky we were souls colliding nostalgic for one another, but have just met.

Our hearts synced, our hearts were beating in harmony.

I recognized the loneliness in their eyes.

It was within me too.

We were together intertwined and inseparable, but we have just met.

That night was ours.

It was timed and timeless.

It was an early winter’s night.

My skin was beating against yours.

I rested my head across your stomach and held your hand against my chest.

I could hear the faint steady beat of your heart.

The melody of it calmed me down.

That night was ours.

It was written in the perfectly aligned stars above us.

For once I was not afraid.
For once I did not fill my mind with expectations that could not be met.
For once I spoke my own words without manipulation.

It has passed.

That night has passed and others will never understand.

I would like to let you know the heroes that were going to save you have disappeared.

Darling,
Your eyes have dried out and you’re way too young.

You’re a child and I'm not a child any more.

You were a fire burning bright,
and I hope the little spark in me reignites.

You have grown weaker, my little heart, the weight of your guilt was too heavy.

You wont stop playing with the flames,
and my child I can’t feel the heat any more.

My love, my flesh and bone.

The fire will burn out,
and the ash and coal.

The harsh bright lights and here comes
the wake up call.

Take me back when didn't feel estranged from my skin and bones.

I am too you young to feel dragged by my throat
when I stutter under my breath

Forgive me for my adolescent mind, I do not think I have grown up yet.

I hide because I do not want to hear the tone of your voice saying my name.
Making me hate the day you named me.

I make myself believe that I am protecting you but I am only protecting myself.
I am selfish and I have been lying to you.

But my love we have lied to each other consistently


I am here.
I am your fears, your guilt your stress your forgotten imagination.
I am not your reality.

I am you nostalgia for a lie.
I am your unachieved dreams.
Your failures.
Your regret.
Your denial.

I am not what you are.
I am not what you want me to be.
I am not what is in front of you.
I am not what is in front of me.

I fear the day when it’s too late and my sanity forces me to dig in the grown just for the touch of your skin against mine.

Why are we so afraid?
When will you stop?

I am not going to stop reminding you that I am your daughter.

It’s that time again.
When darkness and silence arrives.

The silence cascades through the night.
Street lights through the window keep me company, for a while.

My eyes are closing and I'm struggling to keep them open.
Finding anything to entertain me.
Counting my heart beats.
Each breathe.
Thinking of thoughts that I've successfully managed to prison all day.

They’re free now.

My eyes are shut and I can’t fight it any more.
I'm tired, weak.
My body failed me.
My frail human body failed me.
And the time I'm dreading is here.

Am I asleep or am I waking up in another world.

Darkness still surrounds me and I'm alone.

Am I dreaming?

I'm searching for a light.
A spark a flair of anything.

I'm drowning.

It’s cold here and I'm shivering.

The ground beneath me crumbles and I'm running.

I'm running away.

I'm drenched in sweat.

Being here is suffocating and I'm gasping for air.

I'm lost and I'm falling.
I'm lost.
I never knew where I am.


I'm falling.


The fall.

The gunshot.

The car crash.

The fall.

I stop breathing.

Stop moving.

Am I dying?

Can I be awake again?

I just want this to end.

Is this the end?

I'm falling.

I'm awake again.