The Two-sided mirror

Reeling from your loss, realization sets in like rigor mortis
You're gone
You never could have loved me
I know I will carry the scars till the end of time
Ashamed, I turned my face away from the world
I should've seen this coming.  I should've read the signs

I never dreamed I could find love on a cliff so high
To soar with birds.  To drink of wispy clouds as they do
It was all a lie
I did not take flight with wings made of your warm embrace, as I had thought
          No
It was cruel intent that lifted me up, only to drop me hard
My bones and heart break as I land on the sky


I couldn't understand.  Couldn't understand what makes your blood so cold
I still can't
Grasping for reason like air under water
Only to breath lies to myself
So desperate for reason.  My heart would not accept what I already knew
Without words you told me everything:  “Run away from me.  I will hurt you”
I was starving for answers and you fed me lies. Taking you back again.  Deja Vu

Like watching someone else, disconnected my actions do not become me
I've grown weak
I've succumbed to the poisonous exposure of your smile.
Of your laugh
          of your tears
               of your past
                   of your pain
A sickness from which there is no cure.  I will recover, not
Are you afflicted as well?  Is it my lips you taste when he kisses you?  

Listening to our songs, I can't hear them over the keystrokes of this eulogy of our forgotten love.  
Like the loud deafening and sharp song of a smithy's hammer on an anvil made of my flesh, hate and strength are forged like cold steel, quenched in an empty bucket of dried tears
Just another faceless voice reaching out with hands made of electronic ink
Quietly searching in vein to be heard by the only eyes that can hear them in the vast digital vacuum of the internet.....