im dead asleep
dreaming
looking at the surface of your feet
fly ahead of me
ill glide in your tail wind
gushing and inhaling
those sweet perfumes
conditioners and soaps...
zoom on
im RIGHT behind you

where are we going?
not the flower patch
over the overlook
above the kite
under the tree house
around the floating kayak
amidst but not stopping
the stones in the drive
just to float then?

oh
now youre ringing
uh, hullo
use your phone voice
and tell me im awake
pinch me through the receiver
to tell me this is no dream
to let me know that i
should wake up again
from beneath this tree
to fly
once again
this dusty old kite with you

as long as you are holding one end
im jumping straight up
hop to
scratch the bottoms
of hobbit feet
to make you smile
just one more time
IM UP!!!
run and pull and so on.

**** right this has nothing
to do with kites
this is about us
i find you in both places
among the darkened ether
enchanting me
and under our star
and then all the others
beckoning me
sometimes more than others
but never
never
more than when we are floating
wax paper
above trees
power lines

Eyes glued to an LCD screen

"Oh my god!"
You say,

"What a tragedy!"

*******,

Because the only tragedy here,
Is those clumsy, arrogant words
Toppling,
Like vomited dollar coins,
Out of your face.

I placed my gaze dangerously on the abyss.
I didn't jump.
Instead I pondered it.
"Nobody understands." I thought.
I felt the anxiety and sadness to its full force.
I let the curiosity of no return overwhelm me.
I suddenly felt such a passion and love for the life within me.
Where did such a love come from?
All the time leading up to this I'd felt it wither away and now,
when I decide I'm done with it, it comes back.
I've been cheated.
My own heart tells my mind lies.
Are they not friends?
Other people can let go; free fall. Not me.
Though many times I've convinced myself I would jump, I was lying.
Though many times I've convinced myself that I was over you, I was once again lying.
In previous dreams this would be the part where I would back away from the ledge; I'd reel you in.
Only this time, you showed up and pushed me over the edge.
Everything was different now.
Forever?
I had wanted this, hadn't I?
The sad part is that even though you caused this suicide to be a ******, I will forgive you.

just when i thought that
i had finally figured out
who i was,

you came along and
that was when i realized
i knew nothing because

before i met you, i didn't know
that blue was my favorite color
or that my favorite smell was
old spice or that my favorite
time of day was every sunday
morning i spent waking up
to my favorite things