If anything ......
Let ye be comforted ,
Allow you're heart sweet rest
Knowing you are protected
By the veil
Our minds were not meant to see
We have not the capacity nor the depth
The courage or strength it would take
To digest
The gravity of the raging river of war being waged all around us
The truth is that we have been blessed
With not words big enough nor imagination to even begin to describe it
Lest you be dammed and given a peek and be consumed
I beseech thee I'm not trying to convince you.
For this is a one way street once you crossed you'll have no rest
Or any safe place to go for eternity.
My reason for revealing this is this
                    Advice
If ye establish thyself with thy mouth
And bare witness of yourself
Building you're testimony upon great menacing words
Then ye shall be bearing false witness
Thus positioning you're strength and worth
Upon treacherous unstable ground
Casting a greater shadow than you're stature
In an effort to fool you're enemy.
In darkness you create this thing
For there be not truth in what you say
Furthermore in the absence of light
Covenants and intricate plans to take youre life
Are in the darkness you created
Bridal you tounge
Walk towards the sun
Lie not on things you have not done
Nor be ye bragadocious
The demons have not satisfaction and void of compassion
They are no capabilities of anything other than death and decieving
Fueled by the lies of the Lord of the flies
They rot in hell for eternity because the believed in him
He has convinced them all that man kind is the sole reason
And because we were loved more and with out mercy the Father smote them sent them reeling cast out and down forever and Satan saying he's was also a victim of this great tragedy portraying himself as the one trying to save them
And they are believers
They can't stand us an they care not for the shelter
The bigger shadow you cast the bigger keeper of evil

Look at yourself through the words of someone else's eyes
And see if you are not a deceiver

Tyranaical exorcism
Price was high......
Never in question
Sovereignty is life
Is it the same ...
Fight and die for it
For without it .......
You die......
We did ..........
Now which state do you live in .
Soil stained in crimson
Musket fire
Frostbite,
animal pelts ,
Symphonic disturbance ,
severing forced allegiance
new born
Crawls out from the bogs of blood.........
Coddled ..........
Nurtured
idealistic visions
Naivety
Carte blanche reign
....
.......
..........
One degree.............
Per ...........year.........
...
........
................
Until
From the people  came
Refractions turned decision
Into indecisions........
And slowly division
To schism
Victim became juror ......
Juror became judge .......
Judge to ruler
Executioner
Executive disdain
Erupts from shame
Game remains the same
Only the names were changed to protect the innocent .... ...... ......
I'm not ,
And I won't put out ,and I won't give in.
A pedigree of irrelevancy
Bullied by the establishment
are we over governed by our government......?
arent "WE" suppose to be"them"?
thats how it was set up
way back when
a concoction of
Condescension and half lies
consumed our  purple skies.
technology looms
peach tree they see everything we do
world wide web .........and cell phones
killed our saturday  morning cartoons
left with a dog day afternoon
and a voice thats out of tune
AMERICA AMERICA
ATTICA ATTICA   
living on fast food
not quite enough revenue
dwindling rights/writes
and negative news
meant to manipulate
and propagate capitulations
trying to pit friend against friend
causing social injuries that  wont mend
wounded dogs backed into a corner of our own den
what happened to the souls
who were fired for not wearing a mask.  
meanwhile we all learn the new term multi-ask
what can you do
what would you do
when and where
will you
if you do....
what will happen to you
are you brave enough to be the
iconoclast ?
outcast I won't be tamed
or  board they're train
Look into my eyes
The red
I will see blood shed
Before I'm dead.....
Statue your move
I won't....
When you see the white of my eyes ........
Too late......
...
In the center blue flames
.....I won't consent
Or give into .......
You........
maverick im color blind....
i decide who and why
i like or dislike based upon
morals and integrity of ones mind.........which matters not
if you suffer injustice we will fight.......
side by side
if i really dont like you
then back to back
never eye to eye.
because thats
Who........
Is supposed to protect us
we need to pick and choose our battles
otherwise we destroy ourselves from within
Meanwhile
I remain
In the rain ,pains ,
Cold chains around my neck........
To be continued.........

Two pillars  set juxtaposed ,
I use both as baring,
Both bearing equal gravity.
Rising high from the waters ...
Between these ,
Lies this isthmus.
In the middle of which
A field of lavender .....
Outlined with oleander
peach colored summer
I lay awake at night and dream
I dream that there is more than this
I know I shall surely die ..
Here betwixt good and bad  .
Here ......
this lonely existence
Here I feel the undercurrents
One I cant resist
the other ....
Eradicate
My destructive state......
One is such a succulent persuasion
Easy as a fall
The other seems difficult
Abstinence not my favorite
Suit .....
Yet the treasure upon that vista
Manifold ......
The fruit ....
Ambrosial

I untether whatever hasn't been bereft of me
I still love you more than anything
Mortally wounded
I apparently suffer this alone
Now reduced to basic instinct
Flaunting youre new Bo and
Youre infidelity has introduced
A ****** of crows
Cawing circling darkening
Taunting me
Fading.............hating  the fact that i love how easily i can go back to killing.
Affixed motionless
I coalesce on youre lover writhing and gurgling
Drenched in blood
Julie Andrews and I on a moutain top in an alpine meadow
Whimsically prancing and twirling
At the opening of our new show
The sound of revenge
Im giddy with glee and watching it play out in 3D
Its seems so real its surreal
Im all giggling because i can actually feel the drying blood
Its itching
So thick its cracking
This is not a confession
Any circumstances construed
Cant be used against me
I dont even like smith an wesson
Coincidental
Surrounded by the blood curdling cathedrals of woe
Dont it make my my blue eyes black
Oh my worlds enraged my final act
Im playing the lead........................show time baby
I cant ****** wait .......this is what i was born to be
Im gonna **** it...............
**** it ......****   ....it.........?

Cut.......yah  
CUT CUTCUTCUT
NO wait .stop filming.........need some coaching.............helo?
have i become the person ive created for this
...................show?
wait is this really me
Is this a movie?
And so typical with such elegant and perfect timing
My Mother comes back from the grave to haunt me
"Darling ,.  My little Angel is this how i taught you to behave?
REALLY?
Ok    ok .......
Its more of a feeling and not really an independent voice
Autonomously speaking to me from within my head
K that would be crazy
That being said ...............
Like watching salinity and fresh water congeal
So lucidity and reality slowly aligned
Apologised and gifted me back
My sanity
And if there is one thing my momma taught me
"Baby boy .......life is gonna get tough .....people can be so strange
Dont you ever run from anything .even if it means you give in some times ...........its what they believe ............
Doesnt mean necessarily true.so if its what you need let the fools believe .........but only briefly ........you choose .......you live
Use the pain they wrongly inflict on you.
To keep the wounds fresh and strengthen you
Dont you be weak .......ever......look at me ! Hey!
I wont always be here .please i need to know you understand
.........AAYYAND.hey   youre gonna be ok .

Pick your battles My Son ............its not just cause im youre mom
There is no one else on this earth lke you .
People have told me this they can see it too .
Be good in this life .be honest and gentle
Be humble above all be cool
If a woman could see the real you they would never leave you .
Remember the word sonder i taught you?
Just because you love someone more than life itself and are willing to do exactly everything they ask of you.and treat them better than they deserve dosnt mean that they have to love you too.
Because who knows what theyre life has been like
So unfortunately for them they abuse you and it will hurt when they loose you dont let it confuse.............
TOO LATE  MOM.
IN retrospect i realized i had been obsessing  
And so.........
Tearfully removing myself from view
Furthermore release my entitleship to you
step down from my throne
I relinquish this crown
I will wait here
Untill there is nothing left
under this blanket................of agony
Fully knowing it shouldn't bring me pleasure what ever pain
You gifted me even everything you denied tried to pretend and
Actually cant remember
That fool will do unto you in full measure
Then hopefully youll see ill be here waiting to hold u.
Oh .....and in case you didnt know .....
I wont even say i told you  ...

Thinking I'm stylish...
Meanwhile south park kyle like smile.
I'm in denial.......

Hot pink .........swollen
No con...sole...ation prize  
Slow to focus
Eye liner max factor recall
Cherry red vermillion

Aquifers linked starting from stunning vistas
atop  glacier laden pain peaks
Over heating..... melting
Epoch jarring sounds
From the darkest deepest unreachs
CREAKING.....
fissures releasing stress
Mind tearing
HIISSSSSSSZZZZZZZZTERING
moaning
CRACKING .SCREACHING .. .WAKING THE DEAD... WAILING
THE CATHEDERALS OF WOE.
from the never regions
Echos ricocheting
Off walls outside our concieving
frequencies so low its physically sickening ...upsetting equanimity ..you actually feel and
See them as each wave rolls through ......
Reality slows to a crawl frustration turbidity everything opposing you
Nothing goes right
Slowly getting better till half the way through and its
Allright and then you rest find piece everythings more than right
Nice now i can handle this
Close youre eyes in bliss
Ahhhhhhhh quietness .
7nth day coming to a close .
Kiss happiness goodby
While you sleep chaos wrestless like a pervert creepin in you window.before you wake
Next wave sets in
Inducing a mantra  of
mountainous emotional
Upheavals. .....each one increasing ..by one  hertz.....if the damm
CCCRRRAAAKKKGUHSHHHHH
The mega ice dam fractures and the mountains erupt.
Massive utterly. ...........jaw dropping.then running
Ohhhhh. No. Whats that soouuuuCRAP I GOTTA GO TO THE
HEY OMY LANTA HEY I GOTTA GO HURRY. OK THANK YOU ....
BAAAAAAAAAAABE.   WAKE UP THE KIDS ARE MISS THE BUSS.......WAHHHHHHHH

AH WAAAAAA
Wait what ....todays a holiday .awe great. I mean yeah!!!.
I know i got the baby
Thats just great oh ggoody
Who wants pancakes..
Cassius quit pickin on Deon .
Deon HAY !!! I saw that...knock that crap off ....oh no shhhh
Here comes mom hide me!!!
Hes in the closet
.........
..thanks guys

I fell in  ...two
Not hurt just confused
C c  communique
Discontinued
Messages sent.......
Either refused ,blocked,
Or just never reached you.
Hope ......all..
is good
with.....you
My friend....
Message me if you dont get this.......
And message me if you do.....
K?
Er whatever.
Anyway..............

Considering worth ..........
Comes with difficulties
In perception.
Influxuation....
In variable depths leave
Seniments
Of subtle deception,
don't believe
What the looking  glass says  .....when
Looked darkly into .......
Brings out dark distractions.....
In reflection feelings are refractions.
reactions  which don't match intentions
Elongating the pendulums
Undulation
While we swing through the
Gauntlet between write
And rong ......
We loose sight .  ....... ........ And like a vapor
We are gone.  ...
Taking someone's world with us..........
.. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..
Those that aren't worth their weight in salt...........insult
Those that actually are.........
Being braggadocios
Over exaggerating
The exact opposite of
What they claim to be......
Trust and believe.........
Their actions merit pitty  
After expiration......
Pleading for a stay of execution    .......
Beneath the throne..
Of the King of hate.............
As epochs roll on and on in
At the bottom of the furnace
the rotten  
Underbelly
Of the forgotten
Receiving
No clemency
For eternity.
...... ..... ..... .....  
You are worth more than you can understand ....
Live with it like you deserve it.

Don't take someone you don't want because you feel like that's all you can get cause ........
What you'll get is people that will take you .....
That's a lifetime of regret ....  

Never settle .....and just take what you can get . .
And keep that person's love
Untill something you want more comes along......

Because you will create a rift and an undercurrent .....that will take you. .
And it shall
Take you places you don't want to go.........
And when you go
You can never come back again . ............
Don't be
Unsettled

Both lids locked down
Rock solid
My escape .....
Not a sound
Still and silent
I take a quick psychic flight...... . ..
I can't achieve
Break away speed ..    ...
I feel a .......
Disturbance ....and I'm drawn to it.....
Something
On the horizon
I touch down near it......
Without light, my mind's eye
Cajoles the
Delicate silleoutte of an effigy...... In depths of cerulean hues.
It's my spirit ..
......... Weeping.
I loom slowly closer ...
As so,.... you know.. ,
I want to see it in it's genuineness.....
I reach out and it bursts before me silvery red flashes  .....in my mind and Im spiritually blind. ....and at the same time
Catapulting me at epic speeds to the surface.......
The physical realm   .......
Now my eyes see ...... .
I've been for some time in stigmata   .....
Fearfully full of random reoccurring   stupid things .......
Lachrymose
Almost to the point of recluse........
I suppose drove me to this
Exclusive fear fracture .....up here
A monolithic
Slab of frozen  stone
perched above
The town of Index....  
My fantasy go too town......
Town I long to be......full of gold and mystery.......
So much history ....and it's rugged unchanged beauty ... ..... protected by the quirky people's who live there........
High......
Really  really high.....
And so high above the world ..... Winter ish
Magnificent sunset  deep expanses of coral saturating into almost black...
I can't see the town though...
Not yet anyway......
Alone  on  this piece of intrusive batholith
I can't help but notice it......
ever so slightly grades toward the edge......
And the dark lurking  cumulous nimbus devouring precious daylight....
another three steps   ssssssssss
Is
All I need ..  .
In trepidation
I scoff at the mundane which put me in subjection.........leaving me without a choice .........
Daring me ...
And here we are I reluctantly forced the first step and felt as though I might step it up.
so to speak ..... And about to stride to the second step... and a eagle flew just above at me .....
Squelched out
A healthy screech!
Startled would be an understatement.
I
I
I
I
I
  stopped so quick .....
I slipped
....and horizontal.
Looking at my feet and the skyline .....threw my phone straight up
( I know this because when I hit the ground it then bounced of my face......)
Took my wind away  and
Oh my God the view was epic...........
The ice was desperately slick.......
And nothing to lay a grip on
I froze in more ways than one
...........
.....I slid limp my body followed every contour to the the the precipice ....satisfied with my life .....
Although not all together pleased with what I had done with it....
I gave in and let go........
The wind rushing by accelerating....  ...whistle frequency and amplitude increasing ......
ex·hil·a·rat·ing.
Then fear mixed in
In anticipation
Of impact ......
I flexed every muscle to the extreme      ..
Clinched to the max .......thought I could somehow escape,
if I could shake the heavens ,
with a primate like scream ..    .
I did......
It did . .....I hit hard  .......
I was so tight I bounced ..    .screams so loud  ........I
I    .    I'm a awake  
Where am I ?
I'm awake
I'm alive.....
I.......
Was standing   .......
On carpet    ...
In my living room.....
Is this.....
I mean was that ...
Could it have been a dream....
I look to the right
Cliff hanger on the flat screem   . . Neighbors porch lights all
Coming on.....
One of them on my lawn .... the only thing I got on....
is      I guess nachos.......
Close the blinds
*** sure everyone everything's ayite.....back to the couch....
TV .....
Restless leg syndrome .....
Ill get over this
Mid life thing

Out of this rut.......
Watch me ....I'll do it alone ......
I got this .....I'll be back
The Mac .  .
In the Groove
With a gangster lean ...up to speed ....check my strut     G!
But you know what B    
I'm gonna doit my way      .....
Baby steps ....
No frozen mountain top  selfies en ****

Hall knaw    
Uj
Uh awe    naw way....
F that  peace I'm out ......
Not that far out  ..  
Just  ... You . K.n o..........o....

Unestablished ...................
Heavyweight in my mind
Some times I wish
Other times I find
What I have missed
I would like not to regret
Invest in my quest
This trip is one of a kind
Don't drive so hard
Because all you see is obstacles
In front of you
And behind ............
Missed opportunities
So be wise be strong
Be vulnerable be wrong
Its ok
Walk slowly be lowly
Be a sponge doesn't sound
Cool I know
Doesnt rhyme  
Its alright
Love with youre whole heart
Absorb all the pain that is deflected on to you .
Benevolence and bravery would be a fine legacy
Leave the world better than you found it !

I love the time spent away from you
My inhibitions engulfed
My organs move as if
Primping in anticipation of you
Bristling ...     .saturated in fantasy
Blushing in fever
Irrational im insane......... Unbridled
Tension............high.  
I cant wait im burning
Spontaneous the flames will surely consume me
the thoughts .obsesion
Attraction ....... .. ..........lust... our bodies clash we must not .....
Stop.    
We canot
STOP.........
WE MUST NOT STOP
THERE IS NO WAY TO STOP
WE GIVE IN LOCKED TOGETHER FOR AWHILE.......savor every titillating second surrender youreself to me
Commit every unquenchable
Unmentionable nasty unthinkable with me
Every detail things you have supressed .......confess them to me we are doing them
What ever perverse deeds you have been   quivering for but could never tell a soul and would never assk for
Bring it to light and i will unfold youre love and every thing we do
Is my desire to give or do or help do with you for you to you .to solo too mi amore my heart craves the entire sensuality of you its my intentions to highten and feel every sensation and emotion ****** immersion  that you could possibly ever want .
I am so.........into you.......

Forewarned I slowly slip uneasily
Wondering .......
Will this be the .......
I  mean I'm sullen for the ones who will mourn over me
And because of them Im vacillating
Shall I go quietly or make a big seen?
Listen ....there is no such thing as silence
Not while my brother and I still breath
Exhaling the mundane inhaling memories
I get the sensation of drowning
Separated ...
It was when the colors all faded
I'm still me
I can still taste the pain
The violence we've seen
Anxiety ..........how long has it been?
Separated...............
Given different choices we still chose a same pathway
I wonder if the voice that he hears in his mind is mine
.............im still me....
It's sorta funny
He knows he is stronger than me
Yet he still can't understand I'm smarter than he
It's actually better that way
He needs me to be the one controlling
We haven't spoke since the age of five
Well........
I should say we've been
Separated for over 47 years
Feeding on fear and still drunk from tears.
Reunited ................
Is it a good thing ?
It difficult for me to say
I have murdered .........
Only in my mind
The same number........
He has done the real thing
I have boundaries
Plus
I'm still me
And have always been
As I have previously stated
I am real.
I'm still me .......
He is the one who was created

Upon graduation they swear the
.....
Hypocritic oath...
Then put it up on display......
Is this where you want to pull your defenses down
And let some one see.......
The fragile naked vulnerable fragile inner me ......er ....
I mean you......
And then let then ****** your demons .....cause who knows maybe they took that hypocrite thing little too literal so ya they are practicing
But what are they practicing....
And on who ?
And why ....
Ohhhhhh
Conspiracy?
Or something that rhymes with eye!
If you think you are paranoid
You  probably are. It's ok I got someone watching you all the time.

Difference between
We
Stand face to face
At 30 foot pace
Our shadows
Bump heads

E=mc²
Quantum physic
Algebraic circular reasoning .....
Strings tied themselves in knots.   .
Before the question asked ......
Do you make up everything......
The answer came back .....
I'm a frayed knot......
Is there intelligent life out there?
A square question
Reasoning would suggest if we could find it here
here...then it could be.
For it would take intelligence to perceive it.....
So far we haven't found any......
Impedance
Fighting for peace.....
Freedom ,
Jumbo shrimp ,
Military intelegence.......
Human kind?.
Is our purpose for living just remembering to breath?
Breed....
Want and need
One from necessity...
The other from greed....
Fate and destiny......
If there is no goal
...collaboration to find it ?
We can't even agree on a map.....
How many billions of gallons of blood have stained the soil .....and we don't even have a clue where we are going
...or even know where we could go....
Go get a new pair fo shoes and jeans mmmmm........
While people die starving
...yah I just went there .....but go ahead and shine it on .......
Hurry.  .....
Find an attractive distraction to take your mind off that....
Fur reals tho....
Don't worry....
Googles' got more apps than Carters'
Got pills for that....
So.........
Don't see humans living in dumps eating rotten deacay.

Was that your fate or thier destiny.....


Well Don't just stand there ...
Do something

As the static dissipates
The white light fades
The brook illuminates
The apricots glistening
Silence is listening
We dine on concord grape claufoutis
With fresh cream cream fresh
Magnifique!
Who are you to resist ?
Hazelnuts ?pralines?well I insist
Prosciutto ahhh Gorgonzola
Prosecceo mimosa
A brilliant crackling creshendo
Like popping corn
Of sparkling fireworks glittering
And dripping from the twilight sky
I grab you hard and boast this is for us
This. ........as a tear carefully caresses
My flushed cheek
My eyes are full
My lip quivers
I can barely speak ...,.
Aa. Aa a toast
The greatest minds of all times
,romantics,poets
Artists and fanatics put together
Could spend a million years
And never come close my dear
You are legendary
Fully and clearly out of my league
Every night I lye with you
I pray I never wake
This is my dream
When I wake
My fantasy graces me and comes down to me
With with with uh ehhm
With coffee and cream
Like a child I smile nod quickly
Speechless holding back my tears
All the splendor of this earth
With all the treasures and their worth
Will never compare to you
.......you are more than  anyone could desereve

The book you reread
The silouett that defines beauty
The fragrance of hyacinth in full bloom
When you can't smile
I'll be there in PJs with you
Watchin Saturday morning cartoons
I am Peppy Le pue
Saying "where are you
My little dumpling?"
Then I find you and mess up your hair
And laugh as you swear at me
I say" HoweHowe  WEE WEE!
I lie awaiting you
I cry the tears
That fall when
I sing the songs
That make you
I am the mountain
In the spring time
The quaint challet
In the fall
And the one
Who would never let you
And if you did
The one to catch you.
The incoming tide
Queching the sand
My equal
The golden sunset
The one who sees no regrets
Respects your freewill
And forever loves you

Dive ....
Continually into
What life has given me ....
Stay my life ....
Designing blame ...
And damning it ,
As my cause of latency!?

Or ...
Should I lead a life of mediocraty
Anguish in believing success ....
Is something I can only see ...
Never feel.....
Randomly I find opportunity
Then err .....
Till I'm on my knees...


Or ... ..
shall  I be insatiable ,
Chase my dreams    ,
Love knowing .....
Me .....
The miracle that is Me ..
I can't just wait .....
And try it differently next time ...
There is not even enough this time..
I am . ... Therefore I think,
I shall blush in Romantica
Run naked to the cliff ...
Leap without looking   .....
Share my meals with the poor...
Sleep with the homeless ...
Be someone I would adore,
Be a jester and a mentor......
Cry with the broken hearted
Laugh with the children till our
Stomachs are sore    ......
Marvel once again at the wonders of the world
Want more    
Search out
And take everything
Life has to offer .....
And not know the differences
Between fate and destiny?

All it takes is you . .....


All that holds you back ....


Is only you

I feel a great disturbance
Trudging up this landslide disrupted road
An uncertain urgency
Little quips uttered by missguided half witts
Im loosing my penchant for diplomacy
My pupils so undialated my eyes
Are black
the nerves are like hairs on my back
Im backed into a corner like a feril cat
I have sojourned with peril
Encompassed about by the enemy

Oh so now you wanst ta talk....
I don't suppose this has anything to do with your new boo ....
Telling you to kick rocks?
Ok let me ask you this ?
Have you natured enough to
Listen ?
Oooooo k.....
Remember at the end of show....
You said why
Don't you ever have my back....
And I said ..... I always have .....
Not when you're being faulty ......
Because you and me are good....
Me and faulty ...
Naw  I don't want to get hemmed up cause a you.


I don't need any partners for that ****...
I'm tryin to look legit.

Get it

A handfull of sand disturbed
In the center of the desert

On foreign land

forewarned,

Nothing right ?

When have we ever been this far in this dessert

Unharmed.

Never

Nothings right.


They know we are hererrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Am I ?
Thinking
Simulation?
Living in avatar
Emulating
Simulation I'm in?
Who am me
Why am
Me.......
How am
Me?
Wherfore came to be me
What can I glean

What can I take with me

Am I

I mean
Will I still
Be... ...
Me.

befuddled muddy and half broken
say round about age
maybe 30.
trying to find me or ,
better said,
pulling free
from what i was supposed to be ,
and fading out who i thought i should be .
wanting to just be me.
Hindsight I should have been looking for difficulties.
of which were way more than plenty.
suddenly
a profound
epiphany
in
serendipity ,
out loud
issued a solemn sobering
soliloquy
Dad was right.
this is some ******* right here.
i need to change my ways or start sellin fertilizer!

Affordable ya but
Rabbit to whom.......
*** u ...
And me to ......
I could only assume that you knew I loved you with out limits ...
Like the cell phone company ......
Changing the definition and treating us like some type of
CITIOTS
.....
NO NO ITS UNLIMITED !
BUT AFTER "X"
AMOUNT OF DATA THEN IT SLOWS DOWN TA **** SPEED....
BUT THATS
NOT A LIMIT ....
K
NOW YOU COULD PAY ALITTLE MORE AND GET UNLIMITED
THIS THAT AND THE OTHER ......
AND GET THIIIIIIIS MUCH .... BEFORE IT GETS CUT TO 1 /20 TH OF WHAT YOU NEED,? ! ....!   ?
?  
??????????
and that's not a limit?
I mean after ..... That.......
Num......
Or da..... T.... A

THATS A
F...ING
LIMIT
......
you broke my heart ..... Now
I have limits

I didn't know
......
You changed everything....
And your .....
Happy?


Do you even feel......

Is this really
Happening...?

Why?

Emotional outlet
painting
Lets it out for a minute
drawing from a memory
Of a place you have been
It's snowing so thick you cant see
A white out
When You're finished
It's amazing  every snowflake
With every facet depicted perfectly
And you coming from an artistic mind
Set
Painted all of it in white
On the wall  
The same colour finish texture and hue
You just want to see if any one gets it
Alright that's where we are at
Metaphorically speaking
You dig?
Ok picture the scene
Within you minds eye
Standing in front of you're picture
You can see it vividly
With spectacular clarity
And just as you expect a masterpiece
No one sees it.
Then that one in a a million
Standing next to you
Studying intently at what you are looking at
And sees nothing at all
In silence neither turning or speaking
No communicating.
Standing still silently
Staring at the picture.without a frame
So as to have no frame of reference
This time its different
Through nothing more than breathing
Intuition an perceiving outside of thier mind
The both see they have what the other needs
And sharing this brief moment in space and time
Without saying a word one desperately
Wanting to see what the other one wants
And the other one whom can teach
Sees the other ones want
They have become a forever intertwined
Or have they been symbiotic
Without know it this whole time?
You dig what I'm saying
Now see if you can .......
Ok



Listen to my voice close you're eyes
My voice iz the voice in youre head
Picture what you just read
Now this is what only
one in a million Of you can see
The two standing side by side staring
At the wall not saying any thing at all
Are both.........you!
You are the other one .
You are both people.

When will the favorable
Winds blow my way again .
I wonder........
And I wonder.....
When will my vanity
And pride fall from my eyes,
Allow me to see the real me
I wonder .......
As I wander .........
I ponder on petty things....
The more I breathe
The less of me i see ,
Entombed within these
Walls made of masks
Portraying appropriate personalities ,
In different social settings,
The chameleon ,
Masquerading,
Machiavellian  .
Star lit charlatan.........
So many people I've been ,
Too many to ponder........
I really try not to....
Still I wander......
And as I do ....
I can't help but to wonder
Do people see me the way
I have wanted them to?
Some I do .......
Most I don't.....
Either way
Do or don't want to play
The part
Still just a Wanna be.
Lost in a fantasy......
In a sea of my dreams....
I walk upon the waters .......
Peacefully I gaze deeply
Down  at my reflection
I see my eyes reflecting the sky's....
And I wonder .........
A lonely tear distorts the vision
And as the ripples flow in each direction........
Dissipating in amplitude and frequency .........
Until I can't see ......
Still I believe if not for the shore
They will they go on ......
And the implication .......
Regardless intentions ,
Different dynamics,
Will view my deeds from different perspectives .
And tales will be told ,
The ripples you create.....
Radiate ....
From love ........
Can cause someone to hate
And .........
If you are not being you.....
How can you offer defense....
Only those you have completely fooled
Might believe you......
I see connection .........
You aren't judged how you feel.....
But by actions you do
Which reflect and refract
And with every act is a reaction
And it's true .......
Johnny Cash can tell you.....
"Bad news travels like wildfire.
Good news travels slowwweww.
They all call me wildfire,
Cause everybody knowwowos
Im bad newwwwws."
Every body want to .....
Believe rumours about you .
That way they feel a little better about    
What they do ...
And so I ponder in my minds eye..
Each disguise reflects certain aspects of the real me.
And if could actually remove all these masks ......
Who would I be?
The question continually haunts me.........
Who am I?




I wander in wanderlust
Drunken  on my memories.
Laced with my perspective....
I have to believe .....
Each masquerade ,
My intention for every role I've played........
Was to help someone see
You don't have to pretend to be someone your not
Just to fit in .....
Does that make me hypocritical?
I wonder ....

When you are wrong ,
You are convinced by yourself.
When you know you are right..  .
Might be right now......
Unfortunately may not be long.. ..
When will we really know .   .
All the lies upon lies
We've been living on.... .
It's one thing to hear an untruth
Then pass it along..
It's another thing to embellish as we do .....
The worst human  kind can do  
Is to know yet fabricate and teach
To escape blame ,for personal gain....
Or to crush hope because you have  none
Done
Dumb.....

Mike drop

Where you are.....
Which way you go....
You think you can't,.......
Get here from there.
Yet you want to count on me to get to you from here
... ..
Since you won't try.
Then I cant say ill be there!

SET THE EMOTIE
TO CONDESCENSION!
Friends countrymen ,
Lend your amendment pen
To me....set the EMOTIE
To  contemplation .......
As you do
Bear in mind this
It is an impossibility
For me ....not to say
If Ye are Roman
allora ti amo amico mio continua!
se sei americano ascolta attentamente
Where is Waldo?
Close your eyes
Let this question echo
Within all who reads
Mind....
In unison through generations
Back in time
Let Emerson hear
"Thank you!
We need you!

NOW LETS SEE!
WHOM SHALL BE ?
WARNING THIS IS A TEST
OF YOUR RESOLUTION
are you or are you not ?
Look yourself in the mirror
Little lamb .......chop
Cute little button tail
Bahe aheaheahahe
Awe didem faiwul?
Course you did little.....
Kid .......
Let your reflection look at you
Five minutes
You can't.......

Oh hey ?
Can you see POWER!
Stars.
stripes.
fireworks.
Smell the tears
The blood  
Gunpowder  
Courage in the face of fear
Hear the screams so clear
Musket fire breaking bones
Frost bitten starving
Knowing they would never again ....
See home ,yet they perceiver ed
Alone .....
Carnage in conditions so severe
Queers lesbians women men
Friends lovers or enemies
Stood and fought side by side
No disrespect meant to those who play same team
Derogatory terms used strictly for shock value .....
I stand in awe and shame for I have not the valor or means to fully convey the magnitude and depths of gratitude
Graciously ,humbly
Thank you ........
Thank you ......
TO THE REST OF YOU
OH HEY?
can you see.....
The scenes
Do you ever stop and think

Of those patriots who lie
In pieces upon the field
Crying
smoke and steam leaving chest cavity
on crimson stained snow carry their soul
Away from the field and shield them from these travesties forever more........
My country ......tis
Or is it our country
Or is it their country
Look in the mirror
Is this fear ?
Are we here
Shall we not ask what we can do
And instead ask what is this country trying to do to you?
.....
Verily Verily I say unto You
If thy country ask of me
As far as my courage allows
That I shall gladly do!
If thy country make me do
I may or may not
And make no mistake
Neck will stiffen and schism
Created
If thy country which I hold dear to me
Force me
Threaten me
Levy unmerited punishment upon me
Extort me
Single me out take from me my inalienable rights
Be little me put me on blast
Set me agin friend and kin
Because I refuse to give in
And not for reason of religion
But because I will not be in sufferance of oppression
Or beatin into subjection of fear....
I will with great raging vehemence stiffen my neck
Stare those who set against me with dominance
I will give nothing measurable unto those who strip me of my home,loved ones clothes or dignities ..
And as a declaration I will stand firm for those cannot out of fear .
Give my life if that's how far they wish to take it .........
I cannot live under the misery of fear anymore.   . That is my way
That is the or was the American way
. ......that is what the legends
....our forefathers died for!

This world this life
The stupidity happening
Doesn't Jive
Every generation has
These growing pains
The strains from tearing away in order
To breathe
To one it's painfull
Loosing control
It seems to the
Other half liberating to finally be
Free to chase their own destiny.
And all the cultures of the world.
Some antiquated .
Some are bizzare maybe to you
Thats a beautifull point of view... Some are glorious and are jermain to the
Pompatus of love and pertain to nuturing each other in a respectfull way the fact that we all strife to be a little different
Actually makes us the same ..
So many things to deal with and only so many days .
I say **** tyrant fear mongers and liars perverts.....
Well perverted
Deviates and murderers haters biggetries is a learned festering disease ....and to those upper crest pulling these painfull puppet strings,
Using race
To perpatrate
And create a continuous animosity I say a million written horiable tortuotus deaths sprinkled with wishes that you feel every painful thing that family and children all over the world felt and especially the victims pain shared with you over and over and over until you swim in the lake of fire .
Which is the Hell of Hell's
As it swells the soul burns continually and every fear intensifies.
Every addiction
You will withdrawal with skull shedding sorrow full of shame ravaged and ***** with serrated knifes and in you your tears and snot the vomiting stench of decaying corpses and the visions of the ones you wronged and all ya all's memories. Are
Wiped from our minds there is absolutely no way for any one to escape hide or ever have rest or respite .no one to hear you .no time ever to look to for the end .......for you it  never will .no possible way out  .
Never
Ever
Evere
Until nope  
There is no hope and no way ever.
But hey at least now you know
And also I cool with that ..
I mean well I dont wish that on anybody .
So I don't.
It's not me .
Its you.
And you got it coming.
I'm just saying
Maybe we need to look at the roots of this
.what I mean is this.
The way we teach is like subliminal messaging and
Sorta like a feathery leading the witness thing
The way it is presented is absolutely capitulating.
And that's what we'll do untill
We actually  do something
.my loves my strengths my friend neighboors and country men
It's time to unite every color everyone
End this perpetuated way of teaching
And let's start healing a reaching for the stars .....a utopia where we all are treated as equals without condensation
Because we are ..and isn't really time for a change
This money driven lottoreia society is a diarrhea of dead end dreams
We **** for what a some paper we can trade for things
**** all those things

The truth is this
At the core
You need me ......
And furthermore
I don't need you.
In fact I really dont like you anymore
Not at all
Yet you continue to
Treat me as if i need you
And this does not make me
Yet some how i stay
Why
What is it you want from me

In the beginning
So easily you  
Completed me
I asked for nothing but you.
And put all trust and confidence in ...... You.
No questions asked ........
It was perfect until you got bored ...
Wanted more ... Than
"Just" me
I wanted you so badly ..
That you didn't need me ....
The more you pushed
The more I needed
That only gets worse

Songs......
that haven't been.
sung....
Times......
Wantingly walking right into .....
What ........
I should have run.....
From ......  
Wrongs done...
So .......
Um ....
I guess
I wander into the furthest recesses .
To the precipice
Of the horizons of my mind .......
Find .......
Right ..
Wrong....There is no act that can undo the fact
That .........
There is no view that isn't slightly askew.
I feel like someone's writing a book of my life that can't be read
Untill.....
I'm dead.
And they are waiting impatiently
For..  ...
Me ....
Too
Move.....
I'm unsure
About whether I do ..... Or don't want to move.......
Who will remember or
Or want to care ....... Or not to .....
If I do ...
Hoorays for me
And boo
From the rest.

Indulge yourself ,
Drink from this cup
That Alice  just left me,
Do you see what I see?
I see me wondering why ?
Why do I create a third person
Within my mind ,
Only to view , silently .....
Me .
Looking spry and dressed well,
Giving the wisest council to broken hearted friends or family
Wellll I guess to anybody...
And almost simeoutanesly
In view of those people years in advance ,
Prospered well from it....
And discussing it amongst each other and my heart feeling
Vindicated by seeing the admirations from the third person.......
So why is it from my heart I see my mind as something great,
Full of wisdom and the humblest person I know ... I know lol.
With certain assets in certain aspects I can shine like the facets of a jewel ....
when my mind views my heart....
Long heavy sigh .......
It's a fool,
A tool,
Not cool .....
Slight left side drool .
I'm goin to sleep .
And then I think ....
Hmmmm
If I had another brain.......
It would be lonely.......

Partiality ,
Reflective
Teflon like membrane
deflecting Dysphemisms
With psychosomatic euphemisms
And remain in a state of osmolality
Vanity in vain
Pseudo synchronicity in
Emotional attachments
Spurned by environmental conditioning
Creator of schisms.  
Hider of truths
Author of lies

No!...
Wait ...
Wait......what.....
Exactly are you
Asking?
I don't feel
Really all that comfortable
With this level
Retoricol
Inquisiting
I  Mean ok ,
Is it, or like ,
Um a lifetime
Thing?
Or the degree or are we talking like
Integrity ,
Ethical,moral,
Egotistical hypolerbies
Or embellishments
The maveric quenching boundary stretching candy crusted
Sweetened cute little uplifting 77 to 99 percent
Accents,
Those little tools used to help you achieve certain
VIP stats with certain ladies....
Meant in the most sincerest
Ways.
Or self inflative manipulative
Pain inflicting ,
Purposefully
Conjured up lies?
Or you mean
This question
?
Should I call Saul?
Um cause uh ,
Honestly
Well I.........
Would like to say no....
Then again .........
Hmmmm
Nono......
I'm trying to grammatically
Articulate my verbage with perfect syntax
To maximize impact in response to your
Intrusive inquisition,
I mean rally
Is this court
Sanctioned?
Wooool?
If I say yes
The I'ma  look
Like a liar,
If I say no ....
Then that would make me a liar....
So do I want to....l...o...o...
....
(((Ring)))))
((((Ring))))
Yaloe dis is Saul
If you want to talk shop...don't leave a message at the
Beeeeeeeeeep
.......................
Im not recording this and (wel not for il-leagle purposes )
And I got caller id so what's up kid.
Go ahead ......you've already paid your 10,000.00
Retainer so relax take your time
We're at your base level 500.oo
Dollars an hour.

This wrinkle in intrusive batholith
juts high with quickness
Decomposing slowly  I rage upward groping and feeling her nakedness  
I'm ravenous wreckless insatiable
There's only my sanity  to keep me from harm engaged to death
I laugh Ive disabled the alarm
This mountain I take for granted
This granite I color with my blood
I love her so dearly feverishly
I leap and bound
My heart pounds
I know there's gold and crystal my love she seduced me with samples
Under her moss
I heard her say stay
Dig deeper there's more ....
She is my love
She shall always be .....
She will never leave me
she will take my life.......
Some day surely
Its a pact we've made .....
When?
She still won't tell me.......
She calms me .....
For She sees the murderous
Rampage devouring my persona
Under this mask of happy go lucky
lies the Sweet suffocating sullen
Madness and it's wearing so thin.
She says SHHHHHHH
It clears me briefly ...
I muster on.....
As leave ....
The wells fill with salt and saline for to escape from reality
Briefly is sanguine .
Lucidity comes on
Memories flood in
She is the only distraction
I know .....
She keeps the razor from wrist
How many years ....
Gallons of tears ....
How many ?
My Mother sweet Mother
My Father .. Dad ....
I took for granted
My dieng heart longs.
This mountain of granite
Will take my life ...some day
Untill then i know she won't go away..
I try to break her take it all out on her .....
I know she loves me

She stays
She says.

One day it's All happy happy
Then its me me me
Then its what about me
Jealousy
Insecurity
Look at me
Can't you see me?
Can you hear me?
Hey   hello ?
Where'd you go
Vanity ,calamity
Tragedy.
Wait woe no
Help.......
Me
No hey
Don't go
Stop hold me
You can't be......
Gone instantly
Mom
Dad
Me
Alone
Death .
Wretched
Bellicose *****
Maestro of the hollow halls
Echoing from cathedrals of woe
Conductor of maddening maleficent screams ender of dreams......leading the u greatest symphonic misery
Don't look at me..... ..

I don't want to understand you..

I'm sorry because of you....
I'm sorry .....
You can see me
The real me
The bellows that blow gail force winds of the lee's
Continually into the white hot coals of sickening lust burning within
I'm sorry.....
I'm so sorry  for if I could
I would take the blade straight from the forge INVOLENTARILY
Run you through
And end you misery.....
I see you ... .
You can never not be
You take away love
Yet no one loves you
I'm sorry for you.
Is this my lesson
I don't get it  
My pain doesn't lessen

Yahhh ..we got free will.
They just wont let us use it

Ooooh the tall grass
Whips my face and Pinkens my skin
When the wispy wind sets in.
Stingingly ,leaves paper cuts
Instantly irritates  the skin
salty tears and sweat seeping in..........
Spatial light quickly consumed by dark brooding gloom......
Splatter of rain patter ........
Lightning flash cracks
Slithers like snakes across
the nights sky,
An eerie hussh of silence
Broken by a primal
Crushing thunder
Bellicose  baritone
Crossing eyes .....
Rattling bones.  ..
And the tears come back .. ..
With the wind    ....
The blades of grass .... .
I wale alone ......
You said " I do "
You didn't mean it ....
Not the same as I do ......
Where are you!?

Without histoy...
Who should believe...
Surely not us....
Within what we say
We feel is veracious....
Unfortunately  what people
See.....
Won't allow them to feel that way
Your character is always there before you...  .
It wears what it has to
Not what you tell it too.....
Its usually what someone said about you......

I will forgo without
Endure unjust ,
unreal suffering .
Trivialize my vantage.
Which leaves depravity
Insecurity
two goals my lifetime
Towering out of my grasp
.......never needing you to be burdened with shame of wanting to ask......
Work myself to the grave ......
Perjure myself infront of a federal jury.
Tape 50 kilos of coke to me
Watch me stroll through Iran border security
Give me vast riches ill live in poverty
Build the worlds largest castle the world has ever seen ....make the whole thing out of
Oxcodone oxycottin
Percaden .vicaden .or any type of ******.
Give me all comepletely
Legalize me to do
Anything
With full impunity.
Absolute imunity
..........
I will without a second thought .without even the hassle of looking about it.
.....for you..
And at the end of that tempting day will crawl home to you through lemon juice and broken glass
Give you my pay check
Cook you a five star dinner
Rub your feet and love you
Because
WITHIN me lies the truth of what you have done to me.. ..
And I know it
More importantly
I know you know it
.......in private .
Alone you try to deny it
One of us will probably
Die

Endless sea shimmering
In ....e v e r y
Gemstone tone.....
A lexicon of only beautiful words......
And the waves speak to me.  
In my mind .......
In my mind I drench you with
Scintillating poetry.      
I rehearse these ...
To say to you............
And when I see you
All you hear is a madmans soliloquy