Meanwhile  back at the bungalow.......we return to the disturbing scene,
The unsung hero
Off center ,struck a pose ,
Face grimaced ,
Still ,
Stoic ,
Alone ............
Not counting
Toys in the attic......
That and the carnage of collateral damage.......
Covered in the remains
Of bags he brought full of
Everything from morality to mortality,intentions,malignant vengeance .....and open ended scenarios fallen crest ego and
Self induced ticks and twitches
Wraught by  a lifetime of  
"shoulda said ,wished I woulda and coulda been "
All these ,
And all his family and friends
Pretend to be shocked at
Cationic  discontinued
***** boy they once counted on....
Gone   too far into his psyche
Burning the midnight oil
On how far can we
Leave behind the point
Of no return
To learn if it could be
A correlation to the feeling free...
Or is it a paved path into a
Wasteland he's hunting for
Anything that be more
Fulfilling than being high
Up on the watch tower .wondering why ....
Are they running and asking why


Alone
In the gloaming

Motionless.

Stoic
see me
Ground zero in the beginning
The faze of the  full moon caught in the eclipse of a maddening
****** of crows

A hidden  maelstrom grows
The quest continues...

Metaphorically

As  fractal tracks flow
Following the personified  Donnita Darko down rabbit holes
Underground she gives in to easily .......
Conditioned to believe
That domestication
Equals castration.....
Slips out before the train leaves the station........
On
Nocturnal  
Internal I go
We find
What I thought this entire time ...
The simple complicated truth
Is ..... This.......
Idk!

It's like a need......
...
Like an involuntary seed,
.......
If it germinates ......
It's no longer a want .......
It's a haunting obsession
Causing urgency to do right
And bravery imbues you.....
You exchange fate for destiny.
Your life becomes currency .......
What an honor to spend ....
When it's for freedom .....
Sending shivers.......and delivers
Ripples through generations of time....
The legend of you and your comrades...
Lifting the weak and subdued to new heights...
clearing the minds
They bask in the righteous
Battle you waged .....
And the good fight you fought ....
They howl from painful memories
Bittersweet tears onto victory
Strike fear to the heart of the enemy
Rising up like the sun ....
They shall carry on inspiring hope ...
As an honor to pay homage in remembrance of you....

It s like an integrated autonomous innocent being
You can't see but you will fight to protect and preserve above
Everything .. ... .
It's lyke an .......
It's like an artesian well
Spring inside......springs ..
It's like an incurable vine
Twined spiraling up your spine .
A separate entity......  
It feeds .....from the spring ....
In your mind you justify ,appeal
Try to reason with it....  
To no avail . ....
It's lycan.......
It's like An addiction ,
Lycan insatiable yet righteous greed ......
A healthy one indeed ......
Self perpetual.......
There's not a problem .....untill someone tries to take it from you.........
And It's lycan .. ......
Stiffens the spine .... .
And the hackle flicks up like needels.........
flings sweat into mist.. .. 
Eyes turn black ,
Lip unfurling .
K9's exposing.....
Coiling back .....like a tensioning
Spring........
Won't be treated like a dog being
Beaten for loyalty......... 
Bites the fist that swings ..  ..
And the taste of blood is sickeningly sweet......
It lycan unwritten law  
You have not authority
Nor reason ......
Dont touch me ....
Leave me be .....
It's lycan............
It  becomes lycanthropy ....
Don't touch my freedom ......
I'll bite everyone and you can't fight this infection .....
Freedom is out there and I'm
Lycan animal with the spirit and appetite to win ...
And I'm hungry like the wolf ......
Never give in ........
The bear attacks in vain .....
The wolf pack will not be tamed!

Look deeply into my eyes
Deep enough that I may know
You understand me.....
Give me vantage to see the real you
So I will have a clear conscious.
An I won't have to pretend
The pain you caused me
Was not an accident.
So I can fade you into my shadow and never need to see you again!

Spent my life , like currency I hadn't earned...  
Winds of vanity , filled my sails of pride,
Ooooooooh ....
Iiiiiiiiii was that lucky man..........
............
Iiiiiiii.........really thought ,
Iii...was.......
The loves I have held ,
Truth be told ........
I really was........
..........
Wanderlust in love ,
Chemical imbalance,
Butterflies my stomach
like a little too much Vicodin,,,,,
Infatuation  is such a rush,
That sweet sickening rush
Free falling in
In full admittance headlong in love with my addiction to love
Chasing a high ,
As time became a jealous thing
.....faded years from my memories.....spurned .....tiptoed past ,didn't want to disturb me .....
Now I can find no limits ....and even less remittances....  
Lost in limmerance.
Sails are slack ......lost at sea....lonely ...
Darkening the skies
Plumes  of fear
For I know what lies.......
Inside this
Burgeoning Epiphone  .....
Within my minds eye
As everything has dulled around me........
.......(silently picture a reflection of me in a tear drop from my eye caught in a wrinkle I have never seen .......
And I'm trying to avoid awaking...I don't want to see    
Whats become of me ......
I wanna go back and dream ....
Of .........
Me .....
In love .....
With me

In wardly an awkward line ,
Lies........
Somehow betwixt kudos and mockery.
And generally a ***** or an incline
Determination of which ....
Established sadly by the one walking it.
I. E. ME, growing up lacking temperament and confidence,
I told everyone I wanted to be a comedian........
They all laughed at me.......
I took it the wrong way
And tried to be a poet .
I think maybe I was  a little to sensitive....
Life,........
Isn't funny .....
Er idk........
So yah follow your heart .
But have some fun and don't be so ...
Idk .....

Like me ......

It's not an entitlement
Ya'll need to curb that...
K Fur real though
And it's not conceit.
And yes I do  know
The difference between
Want and need.......
Two totally different things
Except,
to me  they share one thing
They're are both something I need!

Serenade me...
my soon to be........
Love..........  .
play 12 string guitar ,
Sitar ........ or just sing
Anything really......
Please .....
Love
find my frequency .....
harmonize
Open mine eyes
And make me ............ ,
Believe I am worthy of someone
.....     Wanting me.
Just one note to cajole
A silhouette of how I used to be
Is all I need
Then I can be me again
Then at least I can dream again.
Breath ..again
Be......
Able ...........
To fade out the scars
The infidel overdosed me in.....