Frailty.......
I fear the fickleness
Within this entitlement
Based society.
Where in
I fail to see .....
The heart of This lion they lay claim too
Be?
Maybe ..........
This is only a thought....
Usage is in the eye of the
Depictor
where as terminology would follow function .
At this unction
You should see ........
A paradigm shift.....
In the way with which the word is used .... Its not what they say they are .
It's what they say they do......
Actually kinda cute ......
In a sad way.....

Songs......
that haven't been.
sung....
Times......
Wantingly walking right into .....
What ........
I should have run.....
From ......  
Wrongs done...
So .......
Um ....
I guess
I wander into the furthest recesses .
To the precipice
Of the horizons of my mind .......
Find .......
Right ..
Wrong....There is no act that can undo the fact
That .........
There is no view that isn't slightly askew.
I feel like someone's writing a book of my life that can't be read
Untill.....
I'm dead.
And they are waiting impatiently
For..  ...
Me ....
Too
Move.....
I'm unsure
About whether I do ..... Or don't want to move.......
Who will remember or
Or want to care ....... Or not to .....
If I do ...
Hoorays for me
And boo
From the rest.

Lab coat ....
Bench tops....
Floor,cabinets,
Pretty much everything is all white....
Except me ......
Bunsen burners
beakers,
Test tubes
Full of emotions,
Boiling .
Vamping off clues......
Of what is it?
Which drives me to be so bendable.
The subject ......
Timid, me.....
Lab Rat.
Find me lost in a maze or running
On the wheel.
In the cage.




Not really too.....
Anything,but maybe away
From
Something



Chemistry.......
Charts and
graphs
Elementary ....
Wall coverings
Crows feet.......
Deepening
Control group
Doin they're thing......
OH!
Here we go.
Controlling.....
Keep going ....
Please......
Keep my head down ......
Keep going .....
Please ....
Don't see me...
Oh ****.....
Hey ........
Whatchadoin?

Waiting here for you to come by and ruin my day .....
Is what I wanted to say.....
But didn't......
Smoke......
somethings.....
Burning internally.
Feeling sorta
In different....
Like madness
Has separated
Me...
Id.......
Me ....
Mamamama
My persona.....

Steeped in a white hot Seether.....
Could neither
Diffuse nor compromise...
Trepidation.....
Not  for persona  sake....
Panic.......
For the opponents.....
Being forewarned....
Chose ignorance.....
Ignoring
The desperate
Overtly obvious
Warning
Signs.....
⚠️
At the apex of max capacity.
two choices.
Guilt could expand the space
Where swallowed pride sits...
at the price of homicide....
Although
Tempting ...
Instead.....
Devise a compromise ...
Inspired  by both sides
And this fault line
Left from
A life time trying to be kind....
Meanwhile
Transparent
Perpetrators
Beguiling
......
Smil­ing overpitty-ing,
Drawing the focus away
From themselves passing the shame  
Character bashing
My friendemies,
For exactly .....
Precisely the
same thing they are doing
Saying sternly
HEY  !!!!!!!!!!?
Don't you go & let them talk you into anything .
Look at me
You don't owe them a thing....
I mean it ....."
As I listen to these wealthy friends telling me they feel so bad for me ....
And there so sad cause they wish they could pay me
But right now
Can only give me a couple bucks .....but in two weeks come on back
& They'll settle up......
Then they don't...
Stoke the fire
Start woofin
The bellows
Flames darker ...and rising
This is it .....indecisive decisions on which side of the schism to give or not to give in .......
A raging torrent is oxidizing
Standing on the fence line
I'm the accelerant....
The sparks the flames the maddening magnesium
The wind uprooting trees and burning them
Woofin big time ******* in oxygen .....
Like a constant burst that don't end .
So brightening

Suns faded out ...
And now it's darkening
As my psyche
Deviding

Split ......
id good ....
Id bad .....
Strange !.?.!.....
Very .......
News to me...
There is someone around here.....
Apperantly ....that looks just like me ...
Cause that's not like ????
I need hard evidence and need to be convinced
Without which ....
Recollection.....
Won't set in .....
Bewildering ...
If and when ...
I remember the checanery and shenanigans
I have allegedly done...
There comes this this image ..
Me now ...
At a good distance behind
"The" age 7 me... .
secretly watching ....
In the back yard    
Of the home predating
That age.....
At dawn...
And the warmth of the sun in my face and the fog
Dissipating
"In front"  me
Above the sunken marsh in view of the slough
And secretive
Personal trail
no one but me knew through
Those cattails
I loved so much....and my favorite carrion the red winged blackbird singing .....
Not a thought or care in the world
Taking a good healthy breath.
The overwhelming
Sensation of a satisfying grin begining to unfurl
Turning into a gratifying smile.

Future, memory.......
Purchase made........
With priceless
Currency paid......
Most recent event
With or without  
Intention,
Time spent
Is how you bought what is
Now you're newest memory
So riddle this altruism.
If you willst
"It's an elementary fact that a thief is by default
A liar .......   "
so then
Whomsoever
Should say they lie not maketh themselves liars.......
Does this mean we are all unconsciously thieves?
The consequence's
We're recompensed  come from untruths we've sold to the purchaser.
Who unaware wasted their time in thought non existent paradigm .
Rendering  the recipients victims and you should be convicted
To make  active conscious decisions in creating future memories which you will be comfortable in.cause those who don't.

F
I
N

Emotional deflections
And refracting
With overt reactions ..
These things are not new to me......
What's new to me is in recognizing times when I'm doing these things.