A lover asked his beloved,
Do you love yourself more
than you love me?



The beloved replied,
I have died to myself
and I live for you.



I’ve disappeared from myself
and my attributes.
I am present only for you.



I have forgotten all my learning,
but from knowing you
I have become a scholar.



I have lost all my strength,
but from your power
I am able.



If I love myself
I love you.
If I love you
I love myself.

Difference between
We
Stand face to face
At 30 foot pace
Our shadows
Bump heads

This world this life
The stupidity happening
Doesn't Jive
Every generation has
These growing pains
The strains from tearing away in order
To breathe
To one it's painfull
Loosing control
It seems to the
Other half liberating to finally be
Free to chase their own destiny.
And all the cultures of the world.
Some antiquated .
Some are bizzare maybe to you
Thats a beautifull point of view... Some are glorious and are jermain to the
Pompatus of love and pertain to nuturing each other in a respectfull way the fact that we all strife to be a little different
Actually makes us the same ..
So many things to deal with and only so many days .
I say **** tyrant fear mongers and liars perverts.....
Well perverted
Deviates and murderers haters biggetries is a learned festering disease ....and to those upper crest pulling these painfull puppet strings,
Using race
To perpatrate
And create a continuous animosity I say a million written horiable tortuotus deaths sprinkled with wishes that you feel every painful thing that family and children all over the world felt and especially the victims pain shared with you over and over and over until you swim in the lake of fire .
Which is the Hell of Hell's
As it swells the soul burns continually and every fear intensifies.
Every addiction
You will withdrawal with skull shedding sorrow full of shame ravaged and ***** with serrated knifes and in you your tears and snot the vomiting stench of decaying corpses and the visions of the ones you wronged and all ya all's memories. Are
Wiped from our minds there is absolutely no way for any one to escape hide or ever have rest or respite .no one to hear you .no time ever to look to for the end .......for you it  never will .no possible way out  .
Never
Ever
Evere
Until nope  
There is no hope and no way ever.
But hey at least now you know
And also I cool with that ..
I mean well I dont wish that on anybody .
So I don't.
It's not me .
Its you.
And you got it coming.
I'm just saying
Maybe we need to look at the roots of this
.what I mean is this.
The way we teach is like subliminal messaging and
Sorta like a feathery leading the witness thing
The way it is presented is absolutely capitulating.
And that's what we'll do untill
We actually  do something
.my loves my strengths my friend neighboors and country men
It's time to unite every color everyone
End this perpetuated way of teaching
And let's start healing a reaching for the stars .....a utopia where we all are treated as equals without condensation
Because we are ..and isn't really time for a change
This money driven lottoreia society is a diarrhea of dead end dreams
We **** for what a some paper we can trade for things
**** all those things

No!...
Wait ...
Wait......what.....
Exactly are you
Asking?
I don't feel
Really all that comfortable
With this level
Retoricol
Inquisiting
I  Mean ok ,
Is it, or like ,
Um a lifetime
Thing?
Or the degree or are we talking like
Integrity ,
Ethical,moral,
Egotistical hypolerbies
Or embellishments
The maveric quenching boundary stretching candy crusted
Sweetened cute little uplifting 77 to 99 percent
Accents,
Those little tools used to help you achieve certain
VIP stats with certain ladies....
Meant in the most sincerest
Ways.
Or self inflative manipulative
Pain inflicting ,
Purposefully
Conjured up lies?
Or you mean
This question
?
Should I call Saul?
Um cause uh ,
Honestly
Well I.........
Would like to say no....
Then again .........
Hmmmm
Nono......
I'm trying to grammatically
Articulate my verbage with perfect syntax
To maximize impact in response to your
Intrusive inquisition,
I mean rally
Is this court
Sanctioned?
Wooool?
If I say yes
The I'ma  look
Like a liar,
If I say no ....
Then that would make me a liar....
So do I want to....l...o...o...
....
(((Ring)))))
((((Ring))))
Yaloe dis is Saul
If you want to talk shop...don't leave a message at the
Beeeeeeeeeep
.......................
Im not recording this and (wel not for il-leagle purposes )
And I got caller id so what's up kid.
Go ahead ......you've already paid your 10,000.00
Retainer so relax take your time
We're at your base level 500.oo
Dollars an hour.

A tenement full of unintelligent
On the cusp of
Belligerent.
Random with anything in common is coincidentally dismissed .
This is a basic definition of .....what is
Named   ( the 12 )  The Jury.
Great ...!
Twelve people .....
12
People who it appears,
have seen a comfortable life which has held a consistently more pleasant theme than mine....... And it appears,
most have  enjoyed.....
a slightly better decision making process ,
And possibly had more of a chance to understand the difference between responding and reacting.....
Never the less I digress
And will say none of these people ....
Would look my way more than once........out of fear ......
They may  make eye contact
And I may consider this a challenge
Or opportunity....
And although my current seat is slightly higher   it's obvious they won't see me if not looking down.....
Because we walk on two different sides of the tracks.  
Knowing not one person not even one who knows me ......all they see is what they see of me....
Having no clue of my character.  
Only rumours offered up as facts
Not to mention are more occupied
With there own things .......
Some are just trying to hurry it up .....
Plus they weren't there.......
And really do you care?

WAIT.....!
Uhhh EHHHM......
Supper whispery
(((((((Tublecain))))))))......    
"Ok at this point my client requests a minute to confer with the reader ."
On what grounds ......?
"Excuse me your honor one second......
( Uh huh ummm. ***)
Your honor my client says .....
Two things
No 1
He wishes to express to the future reader what he's ......
(Sawwwalllow) ummm
What he is  ""feeling"" right now !."
And the second !??!
Iiiiiiiii uhhhm will telllllll you after hes finished?
I object you
OVERRULLED.
I WILL SAY THIS .........
THIS HAD BETTER BE GOOD
Councilor!
Yes sir
"MY client has convinced me .
It will be"
Ok son the floors your's.....
For a  minute.
Ok here we go.......
This really doesn't do justice
Yet I feel this analogy will leave you with sorta bland essence of .....
My current situation.....
So have you ever traversed a glacier?
And  stopped for a quick bite .....
And you spilled like three cans of sardines in your lap .......
Picked em up ate them anyway .
And quickly headed back on your way......far ahead you see what looks like polar bear ...
And thought well this was a nice hike .....think I'll head back to the truck.    Do da Doo don want to overdue it......and I'm feeling like
I need a good burn ....heck with walkin.    
Started to run and then between you and your truck. A pack of ........
OH FUUUUUUUUN!!  .
just then you fall down a crevasse
And when you wake
Wedged left to right.....in front a cave and behind the same .......
With one big difference....
In the front really very pretty wth all the light play and ice and everything...except for ....an Alpha male hungry wolf .....
With his pack pushing him so he's growling.
And since his muzzle is pressed tightly with a slight upward turn under your " decision maker"
You can really feel the meaning .....
:Translating:
Back off me , were gonna eat.
But this smell of fishiness and fear is just .....intoxicating  .........
STFup............and behind like I said the same except .......for ....... instead of the dawgs.    A polar bear pushing his nose in. My be.......
Since my pants ripped ......  
Feels like he is trying to smell the front side.............then one of them takes a lick ......
Ok so you've never experienced that ?
I find that a little odd but .....
Use. Your imagination...k.....
Let's just say that faintly ..
An epiphany starts to emerge
And then you say ....
I get it ..
Fight or flight .....
Huh! So that's what that means....
Well today right now I'm felling that
Only intensified......
.
Usually for me
Individual voices blend untill eventually become clamor.
This was the opposite .
And slowly feeling ....
as if....
with the temperature rising.
..blood vessels contracting ...

Skin tightening.....
Pupils dilating.  Heart racing...
Gravity and fear of physical harm
Dissipating.........along with every thought in the world save one
Escaping ... running naked wild And free........ scenarios with quantum variations in rapid succession .
As they each reach an undesirable end...
My  brilliant psyche calculating and piecing  plausible fragment from each one ......
They play through again
I'm beginning to see............
Oh F..k what!!      

I said answer the question or I'll hold you in contempt!
The attention
Turning towards me.
Thoughts racing ,distant
Catatonic glazed over gaze as I'm flipping files
My head snaps to exactly horizontal my lower jaw left behind is catching up at a snails pace ......
As I suddenly realize ....
I'm no longer 100 %
I don't "want to say anything till
to figure out what anyone could have known  of  something Ive done....
And profusely sweating  
And a forceful lucidity peaks like an acid bath
The whole room is looking at me....this is it..my eyes crossed for a second I felt really weak and queasy ..
The question hung like a frozen specter in front of me..
......
..
And just then
The viiiiicooodiin
Kicked iiiiyyiiinnmmmm
An Iiiiik aaaaaalmost
Sneezed......


Top of the world baby .
Looked at the courtroom and the balif
And said STFKUP!
And we all burst into laughter.

Let's roll ......