Gripped in the bleak empty
loneliness....
I will stand alone if need be
And enlighten... without the influence of duress
Confess that it is with considerable ease one shall test  stamina and unwavering resolve.
Push the proverbial envelope at break away speed.
Un daunted like a hellhound .
Unbound and down for the hunt
People will go all out bent on being a rebel without a cause...........
.......
without knowledge.... alot of times
.........
And very few times find at the end.....
A cliche or an epiphany
Im not sayin im smarter than they ........
Im just sain they're dumber than
Me

I would be hailed nothing less
than
king of all the
Hypocrites
If I failed to confess
And
acknowledge this.
That in my youth.....
Cocky,crass,and lacking cooth
A time when
My mouth went
UnBridled
Anything I want arrogant
Carte blanche
Entitled
Egotistical
had it all ......
Looking back
Hid in securities
Its with crystal clarity
I.c.y
this thing causing my fall
As I reach terminal velocity...
The stench I smell around me
...........
Infidelity
And it matters
Not
who it was committed  with
Or how long ago.
........Still ......
I know its
Simply
A sickning
Debt Im owed
And its return burns ten
Fold
The guilt and shame
Accrued,
With compound interest
Gained...
Came so subtly
..... Karma.....
With abundant clever schemes
setting a horde of locust
Each branded
With my name
To destroy any love and its ever so clear
The poisonous
Prize
is mine to claim
At the risk of sounding vain
Over the years
Ive caused a tsunami of tears ...
Each one full of pain
Ive collected all of them
Like a sadistic
Ritual
I
Feel each one in full
The hurt is
Disabling
I know it
With excruciating
Intimacy.
These
insatiable deeds
That brought
Exstacy
Went rank and jaded me
Love is afraid of me
All my suffering
Is
nothing compared
To the hurt that has been caused
By me
..........
.......
....
...
Yours introspectfully
...
Me
..
.

My field of dreams was a sanctuary i could always count on
A seclusion
i fled to often
But now its
Barren silent and
Fallowed
taped off pending
The investigation and
An eerie
brooding storm cloud
Has moved in stops me
And im empty and
Hollow
Forcing me to face...........
Me .........
The field of fantasy is open
And i could go
But in order to do that i
Have to weather thhe storm
Emerging from the gloom of my memories
Staggering
Drenched in retrospect
The effect is
Bout the same
Worn out and blue
Tangled mangled torn
In too many ways

I cried so hard blood flowed from my eyes
And my throat
Burned
Cramped and turnt to stone
my voice rasped
I grasp for good words
I have none
My speech pours from a flask.
No one but me knows......
No one asks
My wretched deplorable soul
Wears this mask
Every body loves me .
Because they dont know me
Because they dont want to
I make them happy
Mr. Popular with a hidden scar
They form lines to see me
Even though im dying .
I see them through
None of them
See me