The weight is bringing me to my knees
And in grief is like currency represented by these
Crows feet you can read like a receipt
Showing the cost
Of living in the acidity of a recent love lost

Freshly bereft of his final things
Trinkets which he had personally stitched
A little to tightly
to the tender part of innocent
Confused heart
and now .............like an aluminum bat
On a frigid day miles away from anything he knew
On the cusp of darkness and noway
To get back home
The pinch hitter slips in out of a shadow
Grinning evil to elbow and lets go wit a peach i tells ya
Oooh Charlie .......he got all of that one!
Man you aint kidden Mr Brown thats a grand slam......right to the back of his knees .
Involuntary functioning like a pythons squeeze expelled more breath
Than his lungs could ever hope to hold
The walls of which are sticky
Pressed to firmly are stuck ..........
He feels even more pathetic than he looks ..........all alone.     And its cold
I know its already been implied  silly
Im just tryin to drive that point home
Kneeling .........clothes way to big
Not wanting to come to terms with
His new lable
a vagabond all his good intentions
Vaporised in an instant
The wells of his eyes jutted out like
Soft red burlap sacks full of dark salty depths of painfull mystery ..............mouth open in wonderment face blueish red
veins bulging
Still unable to pull in any breath
Someone has broken the glass
And done the unthinkable
Flipped the ****** off switch labeled
Dont ever flip this ******* switch please
Yes a true maverick .......tragic ideology
Thinks hes hip but poor old chum
Not.......quite ....quick enough witt
And saddly enough thinks he knows it
And manges to mangle that into his way of thinking as a sort of keep himself from being taking advantage of..........problem is it still happpens only he doesnt see it as a problem .....
Cause he gives it away knowing...ly
They still laugh as they walk away with his money and steal his things
They carry heavy backpacks full of his
Dignity.
As he sits alone lieing to himself saying
"Someday theyll look back and say the grrrreatest things about me"
In the grand scheme of things
If nothing else ill be the one stable constant maybe somehow that will help them
What he doesnt know.....is that
When this cold day comes. Broke and broken .in dire need .
All these things haunting him
Feeling like a foolish tool
...............
That Donny Darko Day right before he frolicked away and swam in the lagoon of delirium.
He stepped into the kennel with his two massive dogs
Cut the chains and let the epic battle begin.
This time its to the death ......
And hes wanting the black one to win
Metaphorically  speaking
We all have two dogs within.
It what we use to get what we need
It represents who you are .
Because the dominate dog in you is the one that you feed.

That thought brought to you by our sponsor .
Who would like to remain anonymous.
Now lets get back to our story.
Already in progress.  

Shhhhhhh
Oh. Ok sorry.
Lets watch shall we?
Sshhhhhh
ill equipped to handle
The ferocity of deep disdain raging like a glowing vermillion crucible
Full of all the years riddicule
Going all the way back to school hood
Days and the hazing all the way through his marriage
His wife he pulled out of the ghetto
Like plucking the only ***** flower out of a prison yard
Adored her
put on a pedestal
His countenance fell
The day the laughter came from her lips this was his first glimpse into hell
They all try to tell him she was an infidel
He tried to forgive and forget
Till death do us part
My friend I love you
Ill be here to pick you up when you fall
.........
And for this he received a Judass kiss and his first dagger to his heart
Her response.............
I dont respect you because you took me back.
That was the day that **** Jagger slipped into his mind through the crack in his psyche
I thought i had a good life
I dont know how to *** it bayack
My whole world a night mare
and now I cant turn bayaaak ........
If i look back hard enough into the settin suuyun
My...............well you *** the gist rieeet?
He was the golden child trained to be a lover it was her that helped him
Discover ........ . .
To this dog eat dog world
He was an oddity.
A rarity .more than a novelty
More like a real commodity
Could be said a gem of considerable quality .
Clearly a priceless delicacy
For us to devour.
Lets feed.
Finnally his lung cavity began to spazam and as the air rushed in it ripped cold through the reeds in his vocal cords resonating so painfully
In convulsive loud  squelching yelps like that of a ******* sea lion beaten with a stick.
His pupils for a second went chatoyant
Then the whole eye went black
With a long blink ...... .
Curiosly a confident smirk emerged his cover washed away
And he rememberd what he was
Chuckling at his present circumstance.
That is only for a minute
quickly it became a sickning laughter
Maniacal and diabolical.
And you know what hes gonna do
Its the big pay back *******
Hes singing .a biker stolls into his path
He rips the jacket off his back throws his hands out and yells
*** punk .....
Saunters off like John wayne into the mist.
Tune in next week to frightening  conclusion of my unamusing debut
Called im not over the coocoo's nest im in it and i ate the cookoo
What?
Is that so rong
....i just love spelling that word rong

Peculiar from an adolescent frame of view
As through puberty ,
Independence .......your new addiction
No time for silly superstitious rituals
Games from the elderly played by fools
They believe they're grooming me
Proudly , awe full in dignity
Passing the torch and gifting me sacred
Tools of the trade ,
........painful decision to be made
Addictions in jeopardy
Should you sell out your vision
Bow down in submission
Buy into someone elses dream
Living in such lavish fantasy as an avatar
For these same ones who are
Living life anew vicariously through you
............
Sorry ........
But ..................
I know to you my refusal to accept what's been planned for me
Will more than likely bring down great expectations
Ya'll had for me
I realise for generations this is how its done in our family
To me its fate sealed with misery and what if's
Kissed by i wished i would haves until im married to death
The fact that you who say you love me would allow me
To drown slowly in a sea of complacency .
That .......you will now know is not my destiny.
And as the tears dry .
The wound that never healed
Rotted into a scar that infected the heart
Neither taking responsibility
Chasing your dream now too busy
It would be too awkward to try
and the years pass by like two lovers scorned
Passing in the night
As death takes away the ones .
Who somehow became the things
You couldn't find time for anymore
Who were once everything
And now who's knocking on your door
Nostalgia and and all those silly little rituals
Once
Simply unacceptable
Your  drug has become an albatross
You have long ago used up your
Mental floss
You would do things anyway they wanted now
Just to see thier face ,hold thier hand, or to hear their voice,
Independent now without a choice
Soon your sons and daughters will make decisions for you
That is , if they are not too busy to
Staring out your window at the rain
Theres a reflection of someone you dont want to know
You find youreself yearning for your family
And all of its traditions unfortunately
You have started youre own.
...............
Peculiar ritualistic habits from an obscured origin
Are there for a reason
It is our way to stay tethered to the fact that we
Are all alone on a giant stone and together
We are all  solemnly walking to face the unknown
Foolishly wasting our youth
The truth is that while we are still here
Who should scoff at you for what you do
Will surely find the grave before you.
And you look down at your nose at the less fortunate
Homeless broken hearted who got broken before they even got started
Well now look whos cool
Shame on you
Most of you are just one tragedy away from joining thier ranks wandering , babbling in disbelief that this one miraculous chance to experience life
Shattered by **** theft or death or whatever the case may be
Left to the cold bitter banquet of life
Laughed at beaten abused accused of being nuisance
While we deal with our silly whimsical complaints
("*** i hate this heat ,and then tomorrow its supposed to rain
Oh thats just great
Did you hear were paying our new quarterback 250 million a year
Why dont they take that money and give some food to the homeless
I would but i just got this 152 plasma tv. ..........aye!!!!
Its a smart tv.   ..........huh?)
Sullen they can only wait for death
weep silently .........................

The thought that selfied

I am nothing special
Not compared 2 u
My color is a silent hue
Oh beautifull you
magical incredible bliss
My muse
The reason i exist
All i need is parchment
A fine point gell

In indigo blue i write .
You read
And when you do
You carry me away
Through you i live out my dreams
So you see im not as great
As you
Although i love
Thank
And have become
GREAT.......FULL FOR YOU
THANK YOU FOR READING

You .......have no idea
Of the powers at play?
Do you?
Or maybe uh ,...........
I need you .....
Well yes for sure I do .
But.........its so much more than that.
If you......the one who is reading this poem...............
Right now stop !before we continue
Close your eyez for second and listen .
You hear a voice that says "its true."
The fact youre reading this poem right now is not a coincidence
Its evidence of many things
No 1 you!
and the power that you posses
No 2 its the difference between
Destiny and fate
The fact that billions of people
On any given day
Write trillions of things
It would take a library
With every book used
To display one giant number
of words stored
And more everyday.
And maybe you think im
Craze A.
Still within all that you choose ....
To read this.
Thats not fate .......
Its not pre destiny
And ya i am crazy .
i guess that goes without sayin
And yes i can go on and on and on
Anononanoninon..........
But i wont
To be continued
In prt 2








.
What ever you do ........
..
.

This anger that I
Continue to display
Is the dross
Being forged away
From the state of alkali
Into a tool of toxicity
Avant garde of broken dreams
It seems every thing I
want
Is so heavily laden
And inundated with things
I dont need
Yolked up with fools
Cloaked as frienemies
Who pretend to be
In awe just to be associates
Semper fidelis....semper gratus?
Naw disrespectful mooches.
I have yet to see them
Recompense a single thing
Professional victims!
you would think I would learn
Each time I get burnt
They glean every dime I have earnt
In return , i become the merchant of their burdens
For me to carry
Trudging forward with great  difficulty
Collectively shackles pinching ,
pulling my face to the ground
I look back ...they are lieing
down
Clowns laying on my magic carpet
The sound of a thousand voices saying
Hey! What about me?
Ive givin all I could
If I had more to give I probably would
Yet is that not enough i catch them thieving
Lock down  i get them socked in
Im goin in to beat the brakes off em!
But wait theres' more
They bring to the plate some kind of clemency
Aint capitulation great?
The weight is bringing me to my knees
And in grief is like currency represented by these
Crows feet you can read like a receipt
Showing the cost
Of living in the acidity of a recent love lost