Precisely what was it
That you meant
When you said
What exactly do you mean
Before you answer that
I need you to know,
That despite every thing you thought of me
Second hand hearsay filled with speculations
I didn't do
What I didn't say
I wasnt gonna do yesterday
So you know it iz what it iz
If you would like to fix what ever it was
Done deal I mean cmon were men
Do we need to really go there
And do our little apologies?
Hey we're friends
Who really cares
Rieeet?
But seriously
What exactly did you mean
When you said
Precisely what was it I meant

Forewarned I slowly slip uneasily
Wondering .......
Will this be the .......
I  mean I'm sullen for the ones who will mourn over me
And because of them Im vacillating
Shall I go quietly or make a big seen?
Listen ....there is no such thing as silence
Not while my brother and I still breath
Exhaling the mundane inhaling memories
I get the sensation of drowning
Separated ...
It was when the colors all faded
I'm still me
I can still taste the pain
The violence we've seen
Anxiety ..........how long has it been?
Separated...............
Given different choices we still chose a same pathway
I wonder if the voice that he hears in his mind is mine
.............im still me....
It's sorta funny
He knows he is stronger than me
Yet he still can't understand I'm smarter than he
It's actually better that way
He needs me to be the one controlling
We haven't spoke since the age of five
Well........
I should say we've been
Separated for over 47 years
Feeding on fear and still drunk from tears.
Reunited ................
Is it a good thing ?
It difficult for me to say
I have murdered .........
Only in my mind
The same number........
He has done the real thing
I have boundaries
Plus
I'm still me
And have always been
As I have previously stated
I am real.
I'm still me .......
He is the one who was created

As the static dissipates
The white light fades
The brook illuminates
The apricots glistening
Silence is listening
We dine on concord grape claufoutis
With fresh cream cream fresh
Magnifique!
Who are you to resist ?
Hazelnuts ?pralines?well I insist
Prosciutto ahhh Gorgonzola
Prosecceo mimosa
A brilliant crackling creshendo
Like popping corn
Of sparkling fireworks glittering
And dripping from the twilight sky
I grab you hard and boast this is for us
This. ........as a tear carefully caresses
My flushed cheek
My eyes are full
My lip quivers
I can barely speak ...,.
Aa. Aa a toast
The greatest minds of all times
,romantics,poets
Artists and fanatics put together
Could spend a million years
And never come close my dear
You are legendary
Fully and clearly out of my league
Every night I lye with you
I pray I never wake
This is my dream
When I wake
My fantasy graces me and comes down to me
With with with uh ehhm
With coffee and cream
Like a child I smile nod quickly
Speechless holding back my tears
All the splendor of this earth
With all the treasures and their worth
Will never compare to you
.......you are more than  anyone could desereve

left.
Right?
WRONG!

Put my left shoe on the right foot
Then on my right foot  
I put the appropriate shoe on
  
Let's not forget  
Who left who
  

Same old sad song
HIT THE ****
C'mon
LETS GET IT ON


Wait .
Stop.
Hold on



I'm not the one.
Oh ya ...........
no
Yah ..i can let bygones be bygones
  

Although you want to really want to
Try to change reality??
Go ahead ...........
Knock yourself out
If you don't I will


I feel the yearning to ****
Gurgling
The torments and torture
I willingly accepted and stayed
Are now all but lost credibility
And my suffering
And now you laugh and say

Wow that never happened ?
At least I dont remember it that way
Or
If that what you thought of me
Then why did you stay


You really think I would do that to you?


Im loosing my mind
Because of you
I want to walk side by side with you
I want the past to die
But I won't
If you want to make it into a lie
Because you cant **** what isn't real
    

Assume responsibility
I mean really
I'm never gonna use it against you
Or even bring it up
Why would I
  
All I need to heal is an honest.
I'm sorry
And know why
You don't feel I'm worthy?



The homicidal madman in me
Has to **** something
I feel it coming
I would rather not see the past
I want to see you and
Me

left.
Right?
WRONG!
  
Let's not forget  
Who left who
  

Same old sad song
HIT THE ****
C'mon
LETS GET IT ON

In the Twilight of life
In my minds eye see
A vision
Within it me in an endless field
Spanning sea to see
Carefree planting seeds of regret
Off in the skyline behind
A bourgening hoard of locusts
Eating every thing
From there approaching
Beneath me the soil quivering
I'm afraid to go old alone and stop
I fear my luck will have no choice but devour me