faraday box
im kept.......
content.....
mmmmmmm...
except............
"I OBJECT"
CONTEMPT........
accept.........
submit..mmmm
fit?
NO...­....
CAMO .....
chameleon...
or........
Machiavellian?
You decide sunshine
its not my paradigm.
illuminate .........
dazzle you with up to date
environmental conditioning
as  I emulate who they think they want to be .........
I ll keep you spellbound....
I shadow........
mimic,,
and imitate......
"Yo!
Im kool az f..k......"
thats wuzup......foo.....
thats what you see.
thats me but thats not me!

the gift of insecurities
is a crime to humanity
symptom's cover you from head to toe...
like an  infectious disease.....
the only know cure ......
is to belittle  and then infect the one you adore ....
and then leave them .....
alone and hollow......
from time to time
be kind to them
when they start to feel better
then
pull the rug .
kick them in the face ....
laugh and leave again......
worked on me.......
i got so many ......
problem is i cant treat anybody
like that ........
if youre getting it.......
just remember
trying to forbid the things they do.
will reflect on you ....
and they will do it anyway..  .
the harder you try.
to stop them the more
they will say
it was cause you pushed them
to do it.
sorry .
the only thing you can do
is walk away .......
and love yourself
because they wont......
you deserve better .....
love yourself
hope this helps someone
i just really really really do.
i love you
..you should too.

Tyranaical exorcism
Price was high......
Never in question
Sovereignty is life
Is it the same ...
Fight and die for it
For without it .......
You die......
We did ..........
Now which state do you live in .
Soil stained in crimson
Musket fire
Frostbite,
animal pelts ,
Symphonic disturbance ,
severing forced allegiance
new born
Crawls out from the bogs of blood.........
Coddled ..........
Nurtured
idealistic visions
Naivety
Carte blanche reign
....
.......
..........
One degree.............
Per ...........year.........
...
........
................
Until
From the people  came
Refractions turned decision
Into indecisions........
And slowly division
To schism
Victim became juror ......
Juror became judge .......
Judge to ruler
Executioner
Executive disdain
Erupts from shame
Game remains the same
Only the names were changed to protect the innocent .... ...... ......
I'm not ,
And I won't put out ,and I won't give in.
A pedigree of irrelevancy
Bullied by the establishment
are we over governed by our government......?
arent "WE" suppose to be"them"?
thats how it was set up
way back when
a concoction of
Condescension and half lies
consumed our  purple skies.
technology looms
peach tree they see everything we do
world wide web .........and cell phones
killed our saturday  morning cartoons
left with a dog day afternoon
and a voice thats out of tune
AMERICA AMERICA
ATTICA ATTICA   
living on fast food
not quite enough revenue
dwindling rights/writes
and negative news
meant to manipulate
and propagate capitulations
trying to pit friend against friend
causing social injuries that  wont mend
wounded dogs backed into a corner of our own den
what happened to the souls
who were fired for not wearing a mask.  
meanwhile we all learn the new term multi-ask
what can you do
what would you do
when and where
will you
if you do....
what will happen to you
are you brave enough to be the
iconoclast ?
outcast I won't be tamed
or  board they're train
Look into my eyes
The red
I will see blood shed
Before I'm dead.....
Statue your move
I won't....
When you see the white of my eyes ........
Too late......
...
In the center blue flames
.....I won't consent
Or give into .......
You........
maverick im color blind....
i decide who and why
i like or dislike based upon
morals and integrity of ones mind.........which matters not
if you suffer injustice we will fight.......
side by side
if i really dont like you
then back to back
never eye to eye.
because thats
Who........
Is supposed to protect us
we need to pick and choose our battles
otherwise we destroy ourselves from within
Meanwhile
I remain
In the rain ,pains ,
Cold chains around my neck........
To be continued.........

My tears shall never answer my please ....  
That ,which I want
Shall always remain
Penultimate reason
I fall to my knees.....
Love .........
Forgive me ......
I know not why I do these things .
.............
I appologize that's a lie .....
I do .......
In sin I know also
I try not to ...........give in ......
I know you still love me even though I do ......
Forgive me .......
My love if I could ask of thee ..
Let me speak directly to her heart...........
All geese and geeseings disapate...
Loose any memory of Her....
Then loose your mind and continue life in misery
Get in line for your torture enternaly and know where you go there is no outcome
Your existence will only be known by you ........
Forever erased from our memory.....
.......
And to you the one who .......
Captivates me ......
Allocate me your trust and love...
I pray thee
My love I shall endure what ever need be
to show you my love only grows continually
I will always be the one who will always keep you before me
Your love is my world .....
And I love living to love you......
You are  so delicate with your affections
My fear is when you do fall in love with me ........
My tears of joy would never end .........

Thank you my King
For everything I love you always in all ways ......
And especially for letting me speak to her heart directly

Should I lie in lasciviousness
All alone and lonely
Psyche's split I sit...
Stoic  catatonic contemplating
I know I can't control me
Consoling me only feels
Like condescension
An offence cajoling apprehension...
Exacerbating    ...
The fact that the act of stating
"Can you just  listen  without psychoanalytic interjection
I'm just venting hear me then let me be !"
In my attempt to negate a pitty party
Is met like a request for intervention.......
Maddening .....
Gaslighting making me repeat things ....
Not listening...
I'm being an idiot
I already know these things
And don't give me that fat bottom lipped ,"oh I feel your pain....
You need a hug....."
Eyebrows thing....
Course I want a hug
*******
FYI not gonna lie
I know it may seem like I'm chasing a pipe dream....
But I never..........
Have been afflicted with such an addiction to someone like this before
I mean ....  
I'm complete with her
And she compliments everything.
When I'm not with her
I'm dying.
Tryin to invent new ways to help her fall in love with me ....
I know it's killing me..
Don't worry ..
At my funeral you can say
" I told you so...."
I still won't be listening
I'll be busy coming back to life to be with her again

Bittersweet love.......
Leave ..........
Babe you are killing me.....
You treat me like I'm a king
Please ?
No don't go ......
Stay ........
DONT LISTEN TO ME!

You see me .........
forgotten .....
Over Confident
Loyal and secure

Courage and chivalry
These shine through when I'm with you.....
It's what I can't see ....
Who are you with what are you doing ....
I'm tortured by my lasciviousness
I'm tearing off my skin....
I will do anything
I'm a slave to you....
If you love me then leave
Go now and don't come back ....
Go far away ......
I never wanted an open relationship
I only ever wanted you .....
I have to let you see and do whom ever you want ........
I hate you for that .....
But I love you more than that
...........
Please don't leave me ....
Please don't go...
Babe?....

I know the shallow ....
Mostly hollow part
The empty fields .....
Burst forth with pain
And misery.......
I have fallowed them away ...
External me .......
Seeing everything clearly
Is not what brings to me
Good feelings .....
It's gritty......
Duality ........
Head in the sand ....
Avoiding normality.....
Looking cheerful and
No worries....
It's all good ....
Yup yop that's me...
Fatefully yours ....
Externally