the belief that
The depth of cruelty ,
Can only be deepend by  kindnes
Illuminating a path to seek evidence to rebuke this
The deeper you fathom
The more you find less....

Leaving you
I will  die ,
Still here ,
still feeling you...afraid to say what I need to
Don't want to add finality ,
Sitting in silence ,
Awkward to touch  ,
While grieving too.
Oh my God I love you.. .
You are so beautifull ....
And so beautifull too...
You are so impossible
To describe
Words are for peasants
You are ambrosial.......
So impossible.
Impossible......
To say good by too

Innocent pause
Air thickens
And the silence grows into  Psychoaudio static
Swift apology
Self defeating .... .
I know the real me ...
Authenticity fleating
Time will reveal
Expeditiously
The broken emotional inner me  
death where is thy sting ....
Irony .
I Romeo without you dear Juliet.
(Quick note "Juliet"  a metaphore for Sara
Trying to paint this picture as best i could depict ,thought this was a good fit given the rhyme scheme and everything, )
(Meanwhile back at the ranch)
Eagerly take the first drink...
For I assume she's not into me ,
Self esteem berefts my confidence ......
If only I could have seen
How she felt exactly the same about me
...
Instead paint like a deaf mute
Awkward flowers flood the room
Without sound
Air begging to crackle ...
Slowly doubt creeps in like Fractal plumes .
Chest heaves ....
One giant tear .....
Poison sets in.
She smiles
Drys  my tear ......
Says .
I love you...
I only exist to see you....
I die

....
Fade to black

....


Fin

Up and I roam in the gloam
Wandering wondering and pondering ....
On
How I can better love you ...
Crespuctular rays ... as the sky
Turns to a dark plumb
light consumes the grey
My stays eternally entombed
With the fear of loosing you.
viened with gold....
New moon
Sees everything new
Last month ended
Ended on the last  day . .
Today is a new day ....
Different ..  ....
Yet not in always .....
Because it starts the same as everyday...
Opportunity to love you .....
The perfect part of the day ....
When you hear me say I love you.

Night
Alonely ....
Try ...
I'm trying not to be .
Ya between the lines I mean.
In side the black and yellow
By the pail blue moon
I rummage silently
Through this train wreck
Up in the cascades by sorta by Steven's pass. .  .
Little treasures in time
I find ..........
No worth ......except to me
Shouldn't be here. .
........I know ...  
But *** ......nothing else i can.  
Do ...  
WOW  is this what i think it is .....
Someone dropped a syringe..  
It's a metaphor for ...
I'm jaded. ...I done everything
I could do .....  
Except this .....
I mean. .......it's been a hard trek
To get this far down ......
This ...........not gonna lie.......
This is ****.......
I MEAN **** A F.
nervous I don't know what to expect .....
Pushing it in ......  
Kinda like a strong cup of coffee....
Wait....I should mention .....
I'm deranged and strange
Done so many things
Went from legend to insain
Now nothing slakes my thirst ....
So I'm not in my arm ....
I'm just left of my throat....
And I've already drawn back the plunger .... and
Pushing all of it in ......
Yahhhhhhhhhhhhhghhhhgggggg
Good golly miss moly........
I open my eyes and im 5 feet deep in your carpet .
I can't believe I'm here
And this is the highest I've even been .....
Lost and don't want to be found .
Don't nobody say anything.....
Actually go ahead .....
I'm covered in gold .....
I'm a king .....can't feel a thing
I'm so high
I ant never felt like I could feel like this .......I mean
THIS .......
This is like the pinnacle..... .
Higher stronger ........
Untouchable.......
I got you .....
I can't believe that waited this long .......
I had no idea . .......  
Monday,
WORK ......**** .....
it's time .....
I haven't slept yet ......
Saul good ...  
I'm still high .......
Call in sick .....
Then again ......
And..........
Oops ...Friday.......OK
I better atleast go today....
Still ain't slept
End of the day ......
I'm feeling it.....
I need to go home and slee
Nope
.....I'm up in the clouds again ......
I'm never looking back
When it ends i won't shed a tear ...AYEEEEEEEE IM JUST JAZZED ...
TO BE HERE.......
And .......ya ....
I'm still here .......
But BABE .......
WHERE ARE YOU.....
If you don't know . .  
This is a metaphor of my life and the syringe is you .....
You got me higher than I have
Ever even could imagine ...

I'm addicted to you ......
Never considerd.   Not having you.....
I'm lost and scared alone and dope sick for you acting like idk .....like a *****
...*** is wrong with me .I'm not needy !
I'm cool !
Well I used to be ....
Now I  need you ......
And I'm dope sick
I need you ....
BABE?!?!?!?!?!
WHERE ARE YOU
I NEED YOU

Paper cut my eye
Tears and snot. ...
Unshaved face grimaced ,
Contorted, out of sorts .
Not pretty ...I know
Grasping for anything to hold ,
Break the strength
Pressure.....high pressure .....
Teemering inside
High freq tea ***
Spasm....yelp
One release
Then one more
Like a bobble head
No more air
Push
No
Maxed
No more air .
I'm empty .
Floored lungs flat
Stuck like contact cement
I'm buckled .......
Crumpled
Un even .
Ugly .
Nothing ........
Will ..........gone .....
Your gone.......
Will ........I..


Go .......
On


One


No.....


One .....



No




Half......


I'm half



I can't stand ......


I'm torn




Half ......





You........


Left





Gone



No one could replace you.......
You can keep the half
...
I'll give you
This half to .....
Will you .....
Take it please

Take me with you ....
I will go with you and not burden you ......
If you don't......
I won't........
Be OK

With out you.....


Please
....


.i.........

Your the sunshine after  cold winters rain,
Your the reign that keeps me positive ,
Your the rain that sustains through my drought .
The vicoden when I'm in pain and
You still make me higher than ******
You are my heroine my love and my lady .
My woman my friend ,my desire ,
My want and everything .....
My confidant and my confidence,
My compass .....
My bravery in the face of fear
And I truly love you ...
I'm In the Saraseen !
I'm still so jazzed to be here ...