What bothers you tonight my lady?
A pale look, and your charming
fading.
Hide behind shattered silhouettes,
and the veil of thin moisture,
yet
still passively tempt my mind,
allure my heart.
Oh, my lady,
my lady.
I'm whispering,
calling your name inside me,
as if thus
i could satisfy my greed
to claim you as my own,
to keep everything about you
forever within.
But what is forever to me?
I'm merely a dayfly,
no better, no worse
than any other of my kind.
What can i do
to draw this fair lady's attention,
and maybe even
to win her favor?
She looks upon me,
looks upon this vast land and sea,
since millions of billions years
before the first of us
ever walked this earth.
Our times,
nothing but a peaceful and swift glimpse
in her serene eternity.
In this way you watch me,
in dew and mist and frost and dust
you watch me.
Watch my suffering,
my struggling,
my striving,
and inexplicable madness
in the name
of someone high above me.
Your everlasting peace drives me into lunatic,
i behave like human in daylight,
and animal
under your livid glow.
Your mercy and generous,
both a holy gift,
and a deadly poison.
How can i walk in the darkness,
without you casting sunshine upon my course?
How can i keep my direction,
without you following me through
the garden of forking paths?
Yet upon the soil of this courtesy,
grows the sprout of appreciation,
ejects the trunk of dependence,
spreads the twigs of desire and hunger,
eventually,
the canopy of hatred.
This is how your charming made me
starve, thirst
and blind.
I look up to the atlas of clouds,
my stars are mercury and illusory.
i lost my course,
as every course leads to you.
In what possible way
can i end this story in serenity?
No matter how much i suffer,
how desperately i pray,
you feel not a slight touch.
Of course you should be indifferent.
What enormous harass would be
if you hear my prayers,
days in, days out;
and those of many others alike,
from deep ancient caves to far future dimensions,
generations kneel down
again and again
in front of your amazing grace?
Swigging from your elegance,
an incomparable pleasure,
yet a doomed tragedy.
In such a tragedy i carry on,
without a blink of eyes,
without a second of reflect,
like Icarus towards the sun,
a moth before a camp fire,
heartily breathing in your blazing felicity,
enjoying the pain
from burning.
What is life
without agony?
What is love
without persistence?
Having your shadows ironed in me
is more than satisfaction.
Someone
just enjoy this lifelong pursuing.
:)
For HH.
My guardian angel, my moonlight, my home.