Being alone was nothing new to me
day in and day out always by myself
didn't have anybody but my shadow
with every passing hour and every new issue that occurs I'd always wonder is there something more
is there somewhere I'm needed
Someone who needs me funny I thought to think this and said no that really couldn't be
Because how could I ever be a need
Something special in someone's life
When I couldn't be special in my own eyes
Thought there's no way someone could ever need me
Because there just couldn't be
But the day finally came
But it wasn't a person
But he was my little person
Just the most special little guy
He had so much personality
He was so smart sweet and loving
And I knew what it felt to be special to someone
To have someone special
With every morning till night came
I couldn't believe the sadness and loneliness I finally overcame
And just like that in a blink of   an eye I discovered a new type of depression,sadness, anger and loneliness
The type of pain I felt when this little angel left my life
Was and always will be so unbearable
I never felt love like that
And I don't think I'll ever feel it again but I'm happy I had him when I did and I'll never forget him my pupus

A loop full of consistencies and inconsistency's
a cycle of love lust and hate
we swear we'll never love again the pains are to much to bare
than again your getting ready for your next new date
what happened to giving yourself a break
well now that's to late
onto the next
you easily let them in right past your gates
a little too soon
don't you think
you should wait
it's better now than never
why stall if you feel everything's right
Settle a date
Tie the knot
but no
Imma give myself time
Only a few hours past and your making sure everything is perfectly timed
sweating off your masterpiece that took over what seems to be forever
What will it matter when the new paint you got to change the painting that never really changes
When the painting you try to change is forever permanent

You never seem to go away your a rusty stain that never fades your the bitter odor of lust full lies and a loveless relationship we hug we snuggle and kiss this is love or is this how the script goes if you force yourself to see lies as love trust and believe it could be done

I am who I am and that's possibly someone you cant stand, someone you wont be able to demand and command Im someone who won't fall in line I was so naive than finally learned how to open my eyes I'm more important my time is more valuable than having someone for a few hours to be between my thighs I can lie say I had a good time but why spare your feelings when you didn't care to spare mine why am I giving my time to someone who spoon fed me little white lies to many guys who jumped up and down telling me what a real man is when they still live at home have money for this and that but didn't have money to pay your phone and that's why you can't call me back what's the real reason for that am I just your after lunch snack **** that keep those little memories because I ain't ever going to want you back remember all that **** you talked and how you'd fight me for loving you than,when your phone rang and you were with, just a friend, after the calls are over, its all eyes on me, but you couldn't tell anything that, it's just you and there was no we and now you can't see, it's just you, and than it's just me, I so try again, remembered I'm only a friend.

You were mines I was yours. I loved so much that I had to walk out the door. As you fell on the floor saying not a word. Watch the door close. Don’t bother waiting I’ll come back no more. Yelling why when you caused it all. You were upset I blocked the call. No more I said leave me alone. You can keep calling it’ll still only be the dial tone. Don’t pretend it was just me ha wanna be? Please don’t forget all I’ve done because even in my life. I always put you first when I was at my worse. You made it your calling to put me under. Because no matter how much you expressed your love. You treated me as if I were your enemy.

Funny how they are quick to call people out for playing the part and try to be the victim and state but this is different because right right you put in effort to fight and stand to serve your right this is the played out scene a shameful annoying sight hypocrites aren't they such a delight thanks but no go bore someone else with your *** backwards debate I gotta iron the dinner plates and bath the TV it's getting late

what am i truely to you reeled me in with your bate was only supposed to only be a  first date but was it fate kissed me held my hand now i have the great pleasure of calling you my man but do you feel as if we’re compatible or am i just another one of your fans in the stand waiting to be noticed but knowing i could'nt possibly have a chance given in advance gave you honestly on a silver platter who did you ******* and betray to turn out this way why am I being punishing  for the the ones before me