Screaming. Screaming, but no one hears. All around it looks like a normal full room. But the truth is it’s empty.
No one sees. Every day I put on a mask to cover the scars. Put on a fake face. No one notices.
Swimming. Swimming in my own mind. Swimming in my thoughts and self-doubts. More thoughts. More self-doubt. The water turns into oil as the self-doubt turns into self-hate. Gets hard to move.
Drowning. Drowning in my own thoughts. Gets hard to think. Every decision feels like life or death. What to wear? What to eat? The voices in my head slowly creeps up. Eat nothing. You look fat. Your own mind criticizes you.
Everything you do is wrong. When people compliment you, it seems like a lie. One day everything is fine. The other day it seems like the world is going under. It’s been like this since he vanished.
I wake up in the morning, and I wonder why everything is the same as it as. Why do the birds go on singing? Why does my heart go on beating? How are there still tears to shed?
There is no longer pain or sadness. No longer happiness. No more emotions. Just emptiness. Just nothing. Is the only way to stop feeling hurt, to stop feeling at all? The craziest of all is that I still love him, and probably always will.
Now, I’m alone. I know everything. Except how to ignore my inner voices. My inner demons. Will I ever learn how to? Will they keep taunting me? Keep shattering me?
I look in the mirror and see a girl I don’t know. Who is she? What did she do to my reflection? What did she do to me?
Even you left me. There’s no one left. I am now a lonely flower, waiting for the time where I wilt away. Where I die. Die as alone as I was born.