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Giddy Crowley Jul 2018
If you choose to be - by him, from the past,
- it may be the last - you'll e'er see of me.

Ay! If you should go - to look 'pon his face,
- you will be eras-ing me: this, you know.

If you decide to, - I cannot stop you..
- just keep in mind: I won't make it through.

So - will you say, "Bye?" - I guess I will see.
Giddy Crowley Jul 2018
Don't expect to hear my voice
- if you do make the choice
- of visiting him.

For: if you should choose
- to visit him,
- it's me that you lose.

Don't expect to see my face
- if you choose to reside in space
- around him.

Don't expect my smile or laugh,
- if you choose him from the past.

And- remember to forget me
- before you go to see - him.

Don't expect to hear from me again
- if you do decide that you'll visit him. 

I will not take a stab like that to my heart
- from such a cold and jagged shard;
- especially since you know how I feel,
- especially since you know it's a deal-
-breaker that will leave me alone.. 

I'd say, "leave us alone," but no.. 
I'm sure you might once again find a home
- in that ***** you call Jon's heart.

An' I'll be left - to die an inevitable death
- one which is planned - by my own hands.
Giddy Crowley Jul 2018
The days, now, are so strange
- and I cannot manage
- these thoughts within my brain.
Giddy Crowley Jul 2018
No! My woes won't go,
- much as I may hope
- they are passers-through.  

No! My woes won't go
- 'way, not tomorrow or today..
- regardless o' how much I hope
- that they do.
Giddy Crowley Jul 2018
Oh - what it'd be like
- to not be awake
- before the break of light
- before the dawn of day.

If only I didn't slave away
- for each waking hour of my days.
Giddy Crowley Jul 2018
You're online but you won't answer me;
- when all I want from you is to
-                     respond to my plea
-                regarding your safety.
Giddy Crowley Aug 2018
I often wonder if you've seen me, an' in which form,
- throughout these various apps and poetry forums.

Was it Aegidious you met? Or perhaps Phillip?
Nay; - thy hath not read from any o' them, I would bet.

Are these words but some unheard and meaningless hiccup?

Are they to be scribbl'd out through my blood an' my sweat -
- only to be fallen upon by thee most deaf ears
- and thee most visionless eyeballs of all the Earth's land?

Nay - for: if my words can bring but one person a cheer,
- should I aquire even just one anonymous fan,
- only then I'd say I had done an alright job here.

To write with all o' your soul - or to left unwritten?
I feel not the need to give you my opinion.
August 2nd, 2018
Giddy Crowley Jul 2018
Cancer of the lung
will, surely, be brung
unto this body,
caused by such shoddy
decisions to smoke.

Ay - as I do choke:
I seemingly know
how I will leave, go,
away from this world.
July 27th, 2018
Giddy Crowley Jul 2018
"Last pack," written on the previous twelve;
- though, it never seems to be the truth.

I am locked in this never-ending realm;
- one where the carbon clouds are abused.

My mind does not wish to inhale the smoke
- but my body needs it so severely.

It causes me to hack, cough, and to choke;
- ay - it is killing me slowly, clearly.

All the people around keep telling me
- "you haven't a reason to be stressed,"
- an' "can't you see you've been nothing but bless'd
- as of late?"
Giddy Crowley Jan 2018
Smoked the nights' last cigarette
- dreaming of an oak home
- that I, so dearly, wish ta' get.

Where in which: I can spend time
- with a woman who've I fallen for
- drinking whatever, coffee, wine;
- the others' interior mind, we'd explore.

One in which: we could raise young
- and teach them compassion, love,
- teach them how to walk among
- their fellow humans with courtesy.

Alas, these are all but dreams that do pass
- through the foggy and blue skull o' mine.

Smoked the nights' last cigarette
- dreaming of an oak home
- that I'll likely never get.

Ay - tis' not likely
- something that I'll see
- before I die.
Giddy Crowley Mar 2018
I sip spirits, attempting to lift mine;
- even still: you see that I am not fine.

It seems like you have been distant with me;
- I've been feeling this way, all o' this week.

It seems: the last thing on your mind is me;
- it has been tearing up my heart, you see?
It has been breaking 'part my thoughts & brain;
- from on my cheeks, falls down a constant rain.

I find a cigar in my lips and teeth
- and, again, begin to hate the man seen,
- staring back at me from, in the mirror;
- my future and wellbeing are unclear.
Giddy Crowley Jan 2018
The smoked cigarette
- 'pon the snow is still smoldering,
- silently, as I pull another to my lips.
Giddy Crowley Mar 2018
On such a wonderful morning,
- while my future wife is snoring:
- I break beads on the tires o' semi's
- so that she may live a good life,
- so that I may provide my dear
- with gifts and shelter in the coming years.
March 29th, 2018
Giddy Crowley Mar 2018
May even I, who has slandered your name,
- find love in your embrace?

For all I've done, I feel a great shame;
- these things I've done
- while lost in the maze of life.

Lord, forgive me for my wicked ways;
- for: I knew not what I did.

Though, I know now:
- that I have lived full of sin..
- and have succumbed
- to temptations of the flesh
- far too oft.

Lord, give me a fresh start;
- I will give you my heart.

I felt you there last night;
- while the bottle of wine fought
- with my body.
You were looking down, frustrated,
- over me.
You desire more and better for me
- and I wish to live as you intend me to.

I feared for my life that night,
- feeling my body fight
- with an overindulgence of your holy blood.
Should I have died,
- I fear what would have become of me.

For so long, I have been lost.
Please, Lord, save me;
- for: I am yours to keep.
Giddy Crowley Jun 2018
"You are every star in existence to me, Sam;
- each planet that orbits them - as well."

Hell..
I'd go as far as to say, "You're each moon too."

Earthly words may not, accurately, describe how much you
- mean to - me. Even still, I'll attempt and see
- if I can display half that's portrayed
- within the depths of my brain.

— The End —