When someone asks what I’m scared of. I play it basic and say the dark. Because my biggest fear is that you’ll see me how I see myself

Loving you feels like leaving a book out in the wind. The pages turning too fast. I didn’t get to adore you love you know you like the back of my hand to explore everything that makes you you. To trace your lines with my finger tips and reread my favorite parts. To live the story I know we are meant to be. But before I knew it my actions caused the book that is our love to end

After all this time she is still as divine pure and angelic. Saw her sitting there from the grown distance between us not expecting to ever see her face again. She was glowing beautifully white as she lit the up the divine heavens. There she sat a lone

There was once a time a girl meant the world to me but I was the one that threw it all away and her home is still in my mind she is still in my heart she was a lovely wild flower she still has a place in my heart but alas the pain of an old heart never heals

She’s got her halo tangled in my horns
Like a rose petel falling down in between the dirt and thorns

I was driving down that old road rain pouring down lightning striking all around. I got closer to the place she calls home. I saw her there on the old wood porch the thunder that followed seeing her again shook my heart and mind. I continue on my way as the rain continues to pour and lightning strikes the way through the thunderstorm seeing her again

Together we will create a home with no loud anger no explosive rage no slamming doors or breaking glass. No punched holes in walls until the foundation cracks and breaks. Our home will be gentle and warm comforting and safe. There will be no fear pain hurt or sadness. We both come from two different pasts but we can break the cycle of the past and change for the cycle of the future

Her eyes and smile are as pure and beautiful as heaven itself her aura is one of a kind truly heavenly and angelic she makes the darkest days appear as bright and peaceful as the garden itself I dream of those divine eyes the beauty of her own heaven. She’s my own angel such divine heavenly beauty

As I grew older I learned a lot of hard and difficult lessons most I caused.
However that doesn’t mean I haven’t grown to feel comfort in the emptiness of loneliness and nothingness. But still keep on smiling because we as people are ever changing

I remember first seeing her standing there talking to her friend. I was stunned frozen in place as if time its self stopped. However meeting her lead to a path of pain I didn’t want to cause her. I remember all her tears I saw running down her face plain as day as I broke her heart. Certain songs hair styles flowers scents all remind me of her. I’d take it all back just to see her one more time. However then the loneliness hits and I’m left sitting here alone with the first mistake I made

I’m sitting there in the downpour with just my thoughts and heart however I never thought that losing her would lead to the peace of a memory in the rain and the Malstrom of emotions

Hey, maybe you’re not here with me now.
But I want you to know one thing you are and were always there in my mind and my heart. I still remember the poems you showed me. I still remember you first opening that gate you put up around your heart. I can recall all the details about you from your eyes that shine even bright than the stars. You’re perfect smile that heaven can’t compare. The way your hair was soft and shimmered in the sun. When you would wait for me by the doors. When I skipped and went with you to your art class. I still remember the beautiful photos you always took you’ve always had a passion for photography. I remember the first time I asked you your favorite color and we had the same. I remember that you love gas stations and you think bumblebees are cute. I remember how much you love art and photography. I remember you used to tell me you’d rather stay in cuddled up with a book laying in my arms. I remember the first time we kissed even after all this time I can remember everything that made me fall in love with you so until I see you again so hey…

I drove past your house some time back. You looked so perfect there. Your smile as beautiful as I remember. All this time I’ve hoped one day you could forgive me and we can try again and pretend it’s the first time we met until then. I’ll just write these little live notes like you used too write

I still remember our first kiss standing there in the hall by the gym the love I had in my heart then only grew ever more intense and passionate. I know I was horrible to you and I probably don’t deserve a final chance if fate were to put you in my path again like the stars that remind me of your eyes and your heavenly smile it’s been nine long and honestly hard years without you I’m sorry for all the pain and heart break I caused you. All these years later my love for you has turned into a beautiful divine warmth I wish I can be honored to have again. I’d do anything for a chance at us again but until then no matter if it takes nine years or my whole life I’ll still wait for our white horse until I see you again my lovely wild flower. Im sorry J.M. I’m sorry for everything I will always love you forever and always till death greets me like a old friend