-
                                 Even if the storm does cease, And in
                            your heart there lies in rapture, hope
                that next time with strength increase, we
             take torrential rains and winds disaster, live
                      to cast them off our hearts crusade, without
                       eyes wide open don't see the shore, the fear
in infinity infinities of unexplored ocean evade, of
                              who to trust I know no more. limitation.

"Maybe if you're lucky"
she says like the dealer
at a blackjack table.
The representative of the House.
Of the Competition. She fingers
the deck of cards that hold my
fortune with whimsical interest.
Whereas I can't take my eyes
off the flop.

I feel sad again. Just because I am convinced that the love I have been looking for does not exist. People may love you with all they have, just not the way you want. I’ve never in my life, met a person that asked me questions about myself. Except one. But he’s dead anyway. When you tell a story, people ask questions if they are interested in what you have to say. I always ask details and questions because I am curious about the experience that person had when they were in the situation. It could be meaningless, or just a simply story. But I still want to know, because I care. Because when I listen, I really listen. I digest every single word into my brain as if I have to remember due to a quiz the following day. But, I listen to what I want to listen. If I am not intrigued, its like you are not even there. I have something better to think about as you ramble on about something that is not going to help me obtain information about yourself. I want to know everything about you. So I could really love you for you.

I hope someday someone feels that way about me too.

I met you at the corner under the streetlight
You were staring west, following tail lights
I already knew how this would end
So I said a prayer on my torn and bleeding knees

A plane crashed before I finished speaking
Flames took over the November night
Screams and wails roared from dissipating turbines
I wish they tore up every piece of me

My eyes were steady when the wings broke apart
I stood with the stone on my shoulders
Even when the smoke filled my lungs
I forgave you, I had no choice but to lie

We held each other amid of the wreckage
Engines and fuel went up like the 4th of July
I knew what was going to happen then
So I bought a ticket for the next flight

Our dog was the best,
full of joy and so sweet.
It's too bad that you and him
can no longer meet.

He passed away recently,
it's been almost half a year,
but still I can't help crying
all these new tears.

He already had health problems
for quite a long time,
yet he kept going strong
as if he was in his prime.

Three months before his death,
in our lives a pair of ladies entered.
He didn't like them at first,
but eventually he surrendered.

He knew we'd be guarded
even after he'd gone.
That's when he gave in
and when the illness won.

The girls will stand guard
as our Ollie once would,
but holding him close again,
is what I wish I could.

Alone I walked into the sea,

Engulfed by amber waves of ecstasy,

In which I crossed a boundary line

Where I left my mind behind.

I swam and swam until I tired

Yearnning for something I’d never acquire-

A thing that was the death of me.

O, those amber waves of ecstasy,

How they tossed and tore at my fragile being

Attempting to show me what I was not seeing;

Reaching for conclusion that would be freeing.

Amber waves of ecstasy,

Amber waves of ecstasy,

Please come and drown me once again,

Come deafen the screams within my head

That crave to be released from me.

O, amber waves of ecstasy,

The fault of my errors lie with me.

O, amber waves of ecstasy,

Please show me how to set myself free.

I wanted you to fall in love with this:
A picture of perfection painted well
Content to be a lovely mask you’d kiss
But through my time with you my image fell---
And did I right away share honest words
That dribbled from my lips pathetically
While fearing scorn and judgment I’d incur
Let my tears drop un-surreptitiously.
But now I had no sleek and stealthy ways;
You tore apart my well-crafted façade
I had not seen the brightness of the days
Twas shrouded by opacity of gauze
I did not like this much, I had delayed
Pursuing individuality
And then, somehow, my deep beliefs were swayed
Perplexed that you’d desire the real Me . . .
And now the front has gone, I’m pleased to make
Acquaintance to my Self for my own sake.