The bottle of pills are calling my name
That bottle of wine is doing the same
What's my preference?
Does it really matter?
Looking for that buzz in any form
Mix it up
Wash the pills down
Don't stop until I hit the ground

My only friends have lied to me
I thought I could stop, but how can this be
I can't put down the drink or drug
It's now become my only love

My only love is killing me
Anyone with eyes can see
What the hell do they do with me

Put me away
Tie me down
Unless I want this freedom
It won't be found

It's dark
It's night
I should be asleep
Nowhere in the house do you hear a peep

I can't stop my head
My brain won't turn off
As I sit here alone
In my dingy loft

Go back to sleep
How I wish I could
No one has ever understood
Why I'm up in the middle of the night
I try to sleep with all my might

So here I sit and write this poem
I no longer have to feel alone

I have been in love
I have been hurt
I wear jeans
Sometimes a skirt

I'm nothing special
At least not to you
What am I supposed to do

I'm just a girl
With a gun
I could use it
Or I could run

I'm just a girl
That doesn't care
I don't even want to brush my hair

I'm just a girl
Who put the gun to her head
No more worries
Bang! Now I'm dead

I look in the mirror
And what do I see?
Someone who doesn’t look a thing like me

What’s happened to this person?
She looks so sad
She must have been through a lot
To look this bad

Her eyes are dim
The lines are deep
It appears she hasn’t had much sleep

Her hair is greying, not the silver kind
Who is this?
Have I lost my mind?

The rain didn’t stop
For days it seemed
The **** busted open
And overflowed the stream

The rain is my tears
That flow down my face
You would never know it
My expression leaves no trace

The wind blew relentlessly
Swirling through the trees
Much more like a hurricane
Than a warm summer breeze

The wind is my mind
Which races up and down
Never feeling stable
I can hardly make a sound

The darkness took over the night
Not a star in the sky
No light to be seen
You can’t see me cry

The darkness is my soul
One giant deep black hole
No light shining through
Since I lost my darling, yes it is you

Endless possibilities
Are ahead of me today
It’s what I do with them that matters
I’ll make the most of them this day

I wanted your heart
But you left me your sock
I guess I was just dreaming
Do I really want you or not?

What do I do with this memory of you
I should just burn it
No that wouldn’t do

Might you come back?
Should I save it in hope?
I’ll sit here and ponder
While I finish my dope