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Feb 2022 · 80
Untitled
They come to the cemetery bring their chairs, the rose crowns and the whimsical  smiles  
five years have quickly  passed indeed gutting the closeness of skin
and deep stitching  the ones their cloth to the cloth she was buried within
death does not separate it brings  together
they are woven now with the same thread
Once and for all it all turned magic
and the girl could see she could not age
and she could not die

that all her loved ones whereabouts
were deep in her heart
because her and them were
one another
It all turned to magic
and the girl danced a calm and grateful dance
as the great spell that plagued humanity dissipated and from her countenance sorrow was lifted  

magical, the world has always been magical
Jan 2022 · 87
Addressing the cold
a pair of padded pants to save yourself from winter
you look at the next title more padding for the cold that makes you shiver inside
Jan 2022 · 146
We sunk into ourselves
We sunk into the melting ice dissolving over the Han River
changing icy thoughts to free flowing water

everything was water
clear, cleansing and clearing
you are across the street
and so am i. we are walking
in the same direction. the sky is dimming preparing its arms for the dark lull in
which only stars sing.

the people sauntering
around us are their own celestial bodies detached from the outside world
in their mind, inside their screens– far, far away.

we pass them on the street towards
the same place light years from one another wondering if I tilted my phone and aimed it’s reflection into their eyes if they’d receive, if the speed of light can carry my message.
On the tips of dried grass, I walk
bare footed aching to discover
where else a sea can be found when I am nowhere
close to the pacific roaring waves of my flat coastal city where angeles hum by the sea
and concrete kisses are copious to the flat soles of the huaraches,  plastic sandles and warm enough to be called friendly to the rubber soles of long haired girls on skateboards riding down the boardwalk

Where is the sea in this winter
when the chest holds tight to the air and wishes to expand for terror of the cold

long hours pass, dried stems come into focus
when the parched
glory of brown reveals itself as an abundance of  blades of grass marchitas to the two traveling
arches of my feet

what is grass in winter if not my answer
There is an artist who walks into dreary hospitals and law offices
to accompany his partner
he cannot paint the walls of these building  the color he desires but he paints a smile-one so pleasant it calms-on his girlfriend face
Jan 2022 · 85
An exalting heart
every earthly moment seems beautiful and fleeting when it trickles like the light through a window to illuminate your smile

as passing mourner and expectant mothers are en route the same sun drapes them and a similar ephemeral breeze grazes my face

all is precious and the heart cannot help but to exalt this truth when rays slowly make their way to the edge of your chin before they disappear
Jan 2022 · 84
A fresh cup
sometimes the earth flies away from me
drips through my fingers
slipping like thick honey into cups I have left out for too long
too many handled mugs on the counter that I confuse them for
confuse past with what is now

I as I wake try to shake this dream of something that never came to be because I
would love to pour my morning tea into along with the wildflower honey into a fresh cup
Jan 2022 · 161
Untitled
Three people paint the subway station with life
the horn announces that the next train is coming bound for the seoul
Jan 2022 · 78
Peanuts without a shell
You look at squares photographs of people
as if they were isolated drawings of a dandelion or a primrose
you take the person and disconnect them from the root
from the dark soil and the sunlight that grew them into beautiful blooming
beings
you study their exterior
look at them as if they were peeled carrots
peanuts without the shell
the black & white image measured in distance only by the ticks of a clock and the cycles of human life sits on my chest

all the gentleness and love cannot be measured by digital clocks nor can a heart
for its growth is limitless
Jan 2022 · 85
Hands in the machine
it as if we disappeared
our hands never making it past the hanging  veil
voices muffled by cloth
20 arms stretched forth holding in a cry
worker’s limbs, your daughter or sister
racing heart when they shouted out of pain
they could no longer stand

When labor too pressing too demanding stood in front of them a well dressed  smooth talker and asked politely for just one of their fingers
they again screamed
Life is here in the dust that falls over my masked face
It is here on the small damaged earth
you handed back to me as if you had simply borrowed some cheap 99 cent rubber ball
I ask why it’s so *****
you answer “ “
It’s surface soiled but  in it less flowers bloom

I ask you how you will mend it
Tell me your rides here your carpooling with your mom’s friends

that you will try to help but that I
Should figure it out

(But you borrowed from me all those who came before you)
We chew over a small wooden table
Chew bell peppers and drink old fermented tea
wonder how many more breathe until the stomach stiffens in regret and says
no more to all the veggies we must eat before they spoil in our fridge

We chew the small thoughts and the big bad memories tucked in the thinnest most transparent of thoughts
so translucent it took us most of our  lives to recognize them as just thoughts painting boxes, stacked to create an obstacle

We chew playing dalgona with our minds
trying to keep the only the portion of through a we want.

We chew and concentrate and then there are no thoughts, just the veggies I stir fried to sweet from the wild flower honey
Wearing comfortable clothing is what I desire

And if that is a purple g-string with a pair of high rise low cut shorts
You best say "good morning"

And if that is a pair of bell bottom jeans that do not press tight
against my hips with a long sleeve pink sweater
You ought to say “good afternoon”

If I please sugar in my coffee or no
coffee but instead a warm swif of chamomile
tea you best hand me the cup and show
brotherly love to your sister

If in my womb a child grows or I decide
It does not grow
You ought to stand by me but you best
leave that choice to me
Roe vs. Wade making its way back into the court matters. It would mean a lessening of womxn’s rights in the U.S.

You may hold different opinion on this matter and on abortion. However, everyone’s life is different there is no one way life unfolds just look around you. The world and someone’s life does not follow a linear or predictable narrative. I believe with all my being that if we seek to control and choose what a woman can and cannot do with her body (something we do not do federally for men) we take away her choice, we lean away from neutrality, but in a deeper sense we in act violence upon those whose lives and thinking are unlike our own. So then the question becomes do we want to continue to treat one another this way? Do we really want peace and compassion? Even when it hits home and is uncomfortable and may push you to think beyond your own experience make room for it. Look at this world for what it is and open your heart with compassion for every human being who lives a life unlike yours.

I stand behind women having a choice to choose.. I stand behind Roe v. Wade.
every edge of your body that slept
slowly awakes
how could slumber be
sweet when it robs you takes
your money and still asks
for the product of your eyes

What are you without vision?
Because there is love
there is you

Because you burn bright
there will be her and him

there will be trees and there will be flowers

and on earth hope will persist
Dec 2021 · 106
Dreams are lightning
The closing of your eyes is the clashing of clouds and their thunder for-tells the lightning of dreams
Dec 2021 · 445
You loosen my bones
Mid stride my insides
rattle and my smaller and larger
intestine begins to soften

I walk; a bag of bones
clacking in winter
Dec 2021 · 77
Untitled
When spring takes it lilies home you will find me starting the orchids by the window who survive the cold

you will find me standing
so grateful to be where I am
as I am
Dec 2021 · 76
I am
I am. Everything after that can fall away. Everything after that is a box.
Dec 2021 · 89
To sing
I sing to you the way a butterfly sings to a still flower
I sing to you in the midst of winter as your petals wither
I sing not just to you but to the wind that shakes your stem and to the sun the feeds your belly, when I sing there is water in my breathe and the flower’s  carbon
food on my exhale
I sing because to sing is to nourish the earth; it is to breath with the everything
at once
Dec 2021 · 65
Today a teacher dies
She has died
40 books swirl in our hands
As we pass them from friend to friend
During dim light living room conversations
Or read them to our beloved ones to whom we wish
Could understand

We are perfumed by her once presence and uplifted
To know that transformation and love are the ways
The most meaningful of acts
Bell Hooks has passed away. I can just be grateful for all her work and her words.
Dec 2021 · 82
Untitled
The base of my spine was tilted causing everything that stacked above it to be miss aligned
any shoulder so stiff when that when pressed on they would not crack
“Are you pain?” He asked
He began to try and relax the muscles and crack my bones back into place
Your beauty was not invented your beauty was given

Given at birth when you opened your eyes
present before your name was lined up in any mind
a truth that is what your beauty is
Nov 2021 · 94
Tender eyes 1.
my dear tender eyes
the smallest things are the greatest things
disguised by nothing
their beauty standing on its own and like truth
it can only be recognized
so my dear tender eyes take my hand and can you feel we are made of that same tenderness that tilts towards love
Nov 2021 · 267
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A million splendid subs could not quench my hunger for words so I tried to look outside “when the spirit catches you” pages and found life more alluring than any page
for creative then any hand to pen
Nov 2021 · 71
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I so sweetly give into my heart and my being who see no limits
who dream dreams bigger than I could ever find tucked in the furthest closet of my being
They are guides and I follow their flashlight that flickers through the forest and the city and I meet them at night and in the morning to join hands and write
Nov 2021 · 81
living with you
And I knew today that I would not leave you
that so was my love I dissolved into a sea and could longer pick out the grains of salt that were me

I do not want to pick me out I want to the part of me that is you to live and wilt as all life does when it’s time comes. How many years, how many embraces–I want them all next to you.
He asks me how I know that song
it’s piece by Satie
I can’t remember when I first heard it playing
“I am no not sure” I say
it whereabouts lost in the fog,
grown small in the rear view mirror of my life
I stack words like children blocks to say
“I grew up around musicians” I tell him

Knock them down with a a first of “ I have listened to a lot of stuff involuntarily… I was just there like a sponge absorbing”

Satie will play on…
I will keep far away my uncles guitars and cousins counter with wires and pick ups
my brother’s nylon string and my grandmothers singing
“ I just really like music; who doesn't?
Nov 2021 · 94
Too much tea and no words
What can I do if my tongue does not want to stretch. I boil some tea in hopes that it will loosen its tea leaves unfreeze this iceberg of a lengua
I am an ice picker just trying to carve this **** thing but it is stuck and ten Hail Mary don’t warm it up, two miles along the river do little to exercise it; only my feet feel the distance but where in the world is my tongue–daydreaming in my mouth.I drink more tea hoping that it will be jolted awake by the unbearable heat of my pu’er tea like a woman who feel asleep at the sauna reddened not only by embarrassment but by the sheer heat.
Oct 2021 · 73
Falling into winter
The trees are about to defy winter
like high driver
1-2-3

Here they go
Oct 2021 · 75
Born in the in between
Let me show you how worthy you are
how beautiful you are
and why it’s worth protecting  every flower until it dries and dies
instead of thinking “ it will die anyway so what is the point”
the point is the process, the growth not the end
we are not about ends but the mysterious in between
Oct 2021 · 82
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My wish is to be regarded as human. My gift is to be human.
Oct 2021 · 51
To love our friends
My best friend’s girlfriends name is Kat. We talked about jazz, Palmdale and drummer, writers, poetry, therapy and love– outlives transformed by it. The sun rose where I was and the sun was setting where he was. It said it was so beautiful and he started to cry and I started to cry. We said “I love you” and ended our call.
Oct 2021 · 82
Nor I nor mother time
Once upon a time there was a mirror and
I spoke to it the cursed words
“Mirror mirror on the wall”
and it spoke back to me “ yes”
And I asked it “what is the fairest end to this all”
and it responded “nor I nor mother time know, we appeared just like you”

(The mirror grew silent and then recited to me “earthling, earthing on the other side what’s is like to be alive” and I awoke)
I could not write about the people I lost during a short writing class exerciae. My sentences circled
swirled inward on the page
the way my departed and my beloved
swirl within me the sacred spiral
my endless nature trying to map itself out on a thin piece of paper
When it comes ravaging
cutting your skin with glass
let the shards that fly in the same manner as a sandstorm expose the bones
for once and for stop hiding
all the brilliant shimmer that comes being being cut so deeply, the beauty white bone reflecting the light
I am grateful to have lives this long. Every year is miraculous to me and every year is a challenges to me. I want to give; I want to pour myself out.

Our experience allows to be more compassionate and better understand others. The terrible things can be so life giving. Not the life you had before a new life is you are willing to embrace change and not resist
Oct 2021 · 348
In three ways
3 ways to say this earth is really beautiful

I want to cusp your soil in my hands
I fancy the touch of your moss
Are you earth because my eyes see “art” in you
when someone dies with a forest full of light in their mouth
there is no asking “can we replant those tall oaks”  
there is no longer any waning of the moon
not waiting for the fullness to add to the fluorescence of a mouth
when someone dies with so much light
you thank the earth they every sprouted from its minerals bathed in flesh with shiny eyes that reflected like the oceans water

When someone dies with a forest full of light in their mouth
you can weep for beauty complex to do so

you be so lucky to die with a forest full of light in your light
I have trouble digesting things
death is always one of those it sneaks up on you like a wave or a wheel that turn
do you ever get over it
I am not sure, maybe we just learn to accept and live with it
Oct 2021 · 64
Let go
Let go, this story is too painful, too many pits for you to fall in
for once and for all
let go

all stories obstruct
all narratives limit
yes time passes
you can carry very verb, every noun
but I promise you your load will be too heavy

Just let go, start again
free, May this moment open you
May this life and all the boxes you put yourself and me in melt like icicles

I want for you the greatest gift of all. The lightness and the presence
the peace that they say surpasses all
it real
Please, let go
do not stay stuck to tangles web of stories
I want for you the most beautiful of lives
Let go, it has been enough now
This living is opening, this heart of yours is overflowing
Let go, you do not need the past
you passed it, you are brave whole and ever radiant as the wrinkles begin to deepen when you smile
Let go and laugh
Let go and love
Love, come back to love
no for me, not for anyone
just back to love
Love for the daisies, the sun, the wind
love for your humble soul
Love
let go and love again
Oct 2021 · 135
Untitled
I seek peace and reconciliation
everything else:
the silence
the arguing
the finger pointing
the largest vine extending from the past to a future I project I cut

Pruning this life from all stories, no past, no future only this spacious garden of presence that I hold it all
You do not have to show up and see every daisy in spring
you don’t not have to hold many hands
just interlace your finger with those of your beloved few
and more importantly you only have to be here
for this one second
Oct 2021 · 82
Because
Because I love you this place stirs me
cold or hot is not an issue; the summer or winter are okay. Because I love you the mountains of the past dissolve into the sea as a seismic shift internally takes place. Because I love you everything rumbles, clears in the name of lightness, making room for beauty and joy to be shared with you. Because I love you, I am transforming.
Oct 2021 · 101
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They are standing on the hills behind me each one
but now I am standing on another

I climbed this mountain up hand in hand with him
this mount that then became a mountain is now becoming an Everest, my love full so full it overflows and drips  as compassion
Oct 2021 · 176
Trickle
Where ever the water leads, I go … trickle trickle, trickle no longer ice
no longer thick and sturdy
and willing to carry anything
light and fluid I rest
to nourish what’s around wherever I go
I would still love you
set ablaze ten suns with a match
and run after a wild rabbit in the forest even after dark

there, I am sure I would not fear
even the rustling leaves

there they could punish me, bring down the inquisition, accuse at the stake, but I still would find a way to forgive and smile in your direction

I would still love you
sometimes I do not think it good
to feel such things

What’s a maid doing running into the woods after a cow
what’s the earth doing revolving the sun
don’t ask me. Don’t ask me anymore.
Oct 2021 · 99
Mistral
Mistral en la costa de mi corazón se lleva el noble arrullo y la sigo hacia el un mundo de sueños
Oct 2021 · 74
No more stories
When it rings within my ear
like it has done today
,yesterday and all the other days
when like an arrow it pierces though my third eye until I have to no eyes, no hands no past
nor future
no more stories to curtail the moment
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