I stand on the dirt arena, the matadors are my thoughts and bulls are feelings. Both strong and assertive. I watch them and breathe.

It is about to erupt, my chest over my life
blanketing everything anew

If we wish to be tender then we must accept to be brave.

Marina left and at first I thought she was out picking berries, drifting under the canopy in the forest, but at last the june birds cried and her absence was louder

realizing only then that each step she took
had taken her farther
            My Marina was out of the forest
and although there was no knock on the door and no ring was presented by a striking suitor, I felt
as though at last life had come for her hand

I saw a beautiful man in his late 50’s
with his curtain bangs and his shoulder  length white hair that contrasted
with his tan brown skin

the creases below his eyes looked like holy mountains
And around his lips and under his mouth a thin three day beard let itself  awaken over his chin as well

But the two most beautiful things about him were the glistening of his eyes and the field of calm that surrounded him

I stood up and said “ hello, I want to tell your hair is so beautiful. I am growing mine”and pointed towards my three strands of white hair. He smiled and chuckled a little and said thank you with with a spanish accent.

He reminds me of my uncles, my cousins and the old pictures of my grandfathers.  So beautiful his long white hair.


How beautiful, how I long to remember
when my own set of hair becomes an enveloping white sea against my skin

I could hold a foam sword towards you
but only from a distance must it
look real, this bluff of mine–

unzipping my mouth like a coin pouch
to reveal its teeth would do little
no words would change into a charge of bulls

a faithful distance
for the harmonious well being of an  aging
heart that needs a steady home that I cannot provide, this bluff of mine is played –

adorned with this old regalia of indifference, so heavy it stops me from running to where you are, forgive me—

every time I grow silent and distant it’s a bluff not on you but on me who loves you. The bluff is one me—

I recall winter willows
over playgrounds wisping their smiles
and stretching theirs limbed branches towards me

Whatever should I do,

workin up the courage to knit a sentence or two to make something warm that stretches like their thin arms do
long past me to you

whatever for
winter has passed and summer rages around us


But the round yarn ball is still red, the end of its string has been tied to you

I recognize the longs leaves of the willow and I recognized you
I am sure they were there along before

Just as the seed was there before the thinness of the willow touched so we’re you planted dormant