I dram your hair was buzzed and over the back of your head a shaved crown with a yellow outline. You are well; my hope is that you are well.

I chuckled in a starbucks
a capitalistic touchstone of experience
because my old high school boyfriend
my then long haired metal-head is an environmental scientist
what is more heavy metal than saving the environment
as quintessential as a green logo-ed mermaid is to visual culture
so is the aching guilt of living now...slowly killing this earth  
At least when we talked about making the world a better place,
he was telling truth

I am on a documentary dive
the way I dived in bars or went on pub
crawls

I am all in and after two glasse of champagne baby I want to cut my hair
I want slick Bob on this frizzy curly mane
of mine but I wait for Friday

Friday night when you are home and we can have three drinks each and sunk together I  will have the same recurring thoughts of a shorter cut to maintain the coolness on this hot humid summer night
and I will let you cut and the next we will wake up and go to the hair dresser where they will cut three more inches off my head of hair

I read through a box of old letters, old emails,
“old” said from my mouth sounds cleansing
feels like Saturday cleaning
greasy oil over a iron cast giving
way to dark rivers until finally
they run clear

an old me rises for the words
and I run to hug her
“you are so sweet” I tell her

“better love is coming” I want to blurt out
as cheesy and as intense as a first love
a young teen gets
like parting gift of encouragement I want to squeeze her and deliver my message
But, I stop for fear she continue to wait
some sad dark haired Rapunzel

Becoming a jamless  lover of jam waiting for a jar of guava jam when she’s got a whole guava tree in her front yard. she has just got to pick them from  her own tree ,and cook her guavas over her own stove

When I smile there are beautiful lines under my eyes
and I do not want to hide them

I bear with great joy this life of mine

que tierna
la alas de
un pajarito

que de su  ser
trajo a otro ser

liviana es
su despejar

el viento
a las alas
carga

el viento
mi amor
levanta hacia
mi viejo padre

today
I set another boundary
painted his face with forgiveness


I whispered lovingly
"thank you for raising me."

today, I unfriended him
my reflection answered
"But you look like his mother."

my jawline with its sharp line
history seems as linear, but I do not
want to fall in its linearality  

my will flutters among
the company of monarchs
that have come to represent
the migrant women and men
of the Americas  

a monarch like
my grandmother once was
while she inevitably stood
in front of her mirror, I am placed
in front of mine

all my aspirations
grow wings and set
their destination for a healing
climate

"thank you for raising me
but I cannot let you
break my wings, too"

thank you,thank you
thank you