I always waited for them to be sure of me
the way a weatherman is sure about the forecast, before I decided to settle in a certain country or city
and perhaps they waited for me to decide to stay before they were sure of me
but what is never asked or addressed never can be transformed

Nosso corpo pega as barreiras
e con sua mistura de sangue
e as desfaz

The time I tried to delete and wipe him from my life was not with the intention to hurt him
it was with the intention of cultivating self respect

It was me trying to liberate myself from being pinned under intentional disregard towards me, constantly being ignored, and engaged without the intention of helping my soul (of lifting my spirit)

The way I had let him treat me showed such a lack of respect for myself  that I had to try


It was never about hurting anyone; it was about being better then I had known myself to be

It was growth or being a doormat
and I ached to grow and unfurl

I ached to return to my own arms

My smile combines with artistry, with intellect, with profound gentleness,
with my audacious willingness to dance, with my multi lingual tongue,with the rising of my chest as I lift it to prepare to catch a wave
it marries in my fingers, that were taught to play Spanish guitar in my humble demeanor the scent of the girasole, and the monarca butterflies that migrate to my mother’s state of Michoacán each year
their wings and mine a miracle

I wish to love this world with everything I have got
to be unyieldingly –the coming of spring
just as by nature I am the end of December

The start of the circle and
the end of the circle
are just ideas (perspectives)
both just the circle

The flesh and bone my home
the organs and palpitating heart that is before me the one I should look upon with eyes of appreciation
“Look at you and that shine in your eyes” “look at you and all those years that have opened up your smile”

Look at life, how dear it is
how I wish to ripen my blood and the creases of my eyes with wisdom of truth

this momentary mass awake moving through the bead maze

How tender are they the young and the old
Am I tender, too ?

It is so hard to see what’s so close to us sometimes

Oh dear how we wake up to hold the clouds and the sun
The rain and the splendorous shimmer of our being: lightness on this earth

Oh dear how, how can I cry for this long without being seduced by the trees,
the flowers, and the howl of my own deepest nature

I cannot
so I run off like toddler smiling towards today
“Come on” I tell every part of myself