It feels so raw so fragile
a pink bubble gum bubble blown out falling back a little, creasing when it beats

There is no bridge you’ll cross that will be clean

there is no being that does not create
and you cannot forfeit the cold for only the warmth
or only the warmth with the absence of cold

you can not deny what you are
do not spend your whole life
pushing away your humanness
hold it once and for all
do not spend your whole life THINKING something is wrong with you
hold your self, sit in yourself
tomorrow does not exist

I gave it all I could muster with all my strength I dared
will all the might I could call upon I came
with all reserves of courage
with everything I am
with no tear withheld with shakey hands
but I came

This as is
is no longer my place of belonging
when people talk about it’s
absence
mine floats to the surface

It is the cool basin of her skin I curl up to i press against my calmest self
and savor the fresh invitation within my own hands

It just gets deeper and deeper this
never ending route inward
and there is and less and less  resisting
And I want to laugh with myself in-hand and “say stop just relax. isn’t it nice to just be”:)

there is a calmness
a cooling fresh calmness
a just always unfolding
reassuring calmness
just laugh
get up
and linger in your purpose
and linger near the things
that meet you fully