It is just that when I close my eyes I see purple and I
understand that we must not feel disconnected for our souls that is definition of a life squandered


It is just that purple was my grandmother’s favorite color
and I remember her singing to me
and I remember sleeping overnight over
over a stiff hospital chair
the times after being released from the hospital when I would sit with her for half an hour and gently peel off the medical tape- when skin is old it is very gentle and it takes tenderness and warm water to soften the glue


It is just that the world can have my love
and my life
and my disguise
it just I see purple when I close my eyes
and  I am done

and beginning
at the same time

gender constructs, piety, nationality, “goodness”  these frameworks I live in are unquestionable for in their deviation there lies true reason of  “understandable” ostracism “yeah of course, how dare they?” & “who do they think they are”  
I thank them for where they have brought us but that is not where we are going it is only where we have already been

This beautiful teeming orbit is not ours to take care of
it is us
“We breathe together”
it is inseparable
you and I
, it –our fate the same

I want life to flourish
and so earth must sing
i want a shift
a second coming of a loving consciousness
not as some man or some messiah (stop limiting divinity to human figure)
but to have us recognize it in the entirety of life in its miraculous omnipresent light that indeed does shine permeating all

I think of my shrink
and think of my friends
and I think of everyone
who told me to erase someone from my life
to be brave
but now I understand
forgiveness is greater
and that I should always trust my heart
no degrees in human psychology ,no pep talks, no one else’s guidance will do
at some point your being is your only compass

Can you grow
can you expand and use your past as the bricks laid down to build you
and can I meet you again then
because I do not want the past
“ can you embrace growth and change”
can you embrace humanness
let it be a long arc bending towards
beauty, joy and depth

There in my hands is the summer solstice
with its prolonged warmth
my midsummer dream tilts closer to the sacred
the Tropic of Cancer
and the flowers dance honoring the sun
and although is wish to dive into the past
I must be brave
there are better things
brighter things
things that will bend naturally towards my light

“That is how they are”
they are? That is how we are if we had been raised here
that is how we are if we would of had their upbringing that is we

there is no “they” ...” they” allows you to be a selective towards which people you care about
turning on and off your heart and compassion