Today while riding the subway cart I thought “I am scared to open my heart to him again”
and then I thought “maybe he is too”
but I don’t want to be scared

So I start slow, one small step at a time
that way I will not rush or misunderstand

There are days when I want to say hello
send something I have read and share the way words or music sit on a sheet or laid  down on a track
when I want to open my rib cage and smile at you at the entrance of my door
And say “this is who I am”
  “come in”
A gift to behold you and a gift to be beheld

It could be the stars could fall on me tonight but I think they’d turn tiny if they touched the earth’s ground
where I would pick them up
and place them in a blue plastic bucket

Don’t forget your bright eyes as you tilt your head up
and that soft smile that curves over your lips when the warmth of the day penetrates
into the deepest chamber of your beating heart
don’t forget to renew your mind
there is still so much to see
and still so many moments tucked in our experience of time that gifts us this wondrous existence
and this chance to look again upon
life’s kindness
Please  don’t forget to bring them
their brilliance lights up the dark

I feel this ball of energy entering me
something has come
it has already arrived within me
announced itself
but I cannot yet see it here
in the materials world
but it is deep and makes my heart race

You tug at me
and I want to close my eyes
and tug back

Sometimes I press my hand to my chest when this feeling comes and I close my eyes
who is it?
who calls me at this time
sometimes it is my mother or my brother
sometimes my childhood friends
sometimes it feels like an older brown eyed man
each of them different strings
but when I concentrate I can work my way back to the source
I don’t know how but I don’t need to know