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It’s not that I do not understand the ways in which leaves fall silently to the ground it
is just the thought of you falling that I cannot bear, so instead of being prideful, cruel, unforgiving, I swallow the knot in throat and put aside the “she doesn’t know what is good for her” “ what a pitiful thing” and turn around extent my hand and try to catch a beautiful leaf
I cannot let you hit the floor
it is not in my nature to be like so
even as you watching me stumble through youth and lack of judgement

It is not in my nature to be cunning, it is not in my nature to be insincere And if lose
I rather lose knowing I lost with grace
gently loving, catching leaves
uninterested in the opinions of others
I surrender to the peace of love
no control
no need to change things
no need to be fearful

only the need to learn how to love more deeply
nurturing blossom
cold winter hails dreary days
may I take heart
in the spirit of your
nature
find it on my silent walks
may I not freeze as the world around me does so
keep warm in your hope
keep me close to you, I need your  stem to lean on
There is no better breath
than the breathe
I breathe now
you come to me in dreams
but I cannot remember what you tell me
just the faint image of you lingers when I wake
slide the windows open
rest, rest now
or all day you will cheat yourself
out of ease
rest there is nothing wrong with quiet
it’s where your essence brims to the surface
frothing, and ready to refresh you
if you just pause in silence
You know when you know

I thought I knew

but what did I know
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