Broken jaw

Limp wrists 

Why am I pretending to be weak?

It's the easy way out

My substances walk themselves in

Now there's no crutch left to lean on 

Excuses as empty as my stomach 

I think it's time to feast  

I've preyed on those who couldn't speak

And learned to run without feet

So why is this temporary challenge 

My ultimate defeat 

Been playing victim long enough 

That ***** can take a seat

I'll pull the chair from underneath

And hope he falls into the deep

No reflection in the mirror

Just what's left, hollow as ever

Anything that might be missing

Is a piece I took

With no plan to replace

Self destruction comes too natural

I don't want to die

But that doesn't mean I want to live

The distiction between the two is action

Comeback season is now in session

Meeting a new person
Is actually the beginning of a journey
Between your soul, and theirs
Everyone in your life is for a reason
With permanent stake in your well-being
Thank God for positivity
Burn a bridge held by negativity
Time is irrelevant, speaking in eternity
So don’t miss the signs
They’re often too brief
I’ve made my mistakes
Failure comes from turning blindly
They’ve left nothing but aches
Face value comes so lightly
You forget about the snakes
Most are ebb and flow
Good karma helps you grow
Little by little, piece by piece
Your soul’s make up that jigsaw together
With a picture underneath
Every puzzle needs a partner
Except for my unfinished mess
Most try and end up failing
They probably needed less
Or give up just by looking
It’s probably for the best
Don’t say I didn’t warn you
Save a broken chest
The last thing this world needs
Is one more jagged heart
Who only wants to fit
I’m just another missing part

Invincible
My fracture lines are showing
Rhetorical
As if I’m the all-knowing
Aiming for perfection
Settling on individualized complexion
See nothing in my reflection
Maybe that’s all I’ll ever be
Exiled misfit by objection
Marked with blood-stained-sheepskin
& running my mouth
Instead of fitting in
So keep quiet
Emotionless creatures should be cast out
Loyalty’s an illusion contingent on amount
And my whisper is lost while everyone else can shout

Traditional
But you’re an anomaly
Conditional
Kinda like your prophecy
Or my imagination
Covered in sin
With that **** eating grin
Turns his back on God
When he can’t seem to win
Swallow that pride
With a side of humility
Choke it down
Like every Sunday afternoon
I said my prayers
But He sent rocks to break my fall
What made me think I could stand so tall?

O**riginal
Not the first or the last
Forgettable
Just apart of the past
I’m a walking contradiction
Who’s become stagnate
Classic degenerate
So now I’m stranded
And all together irrelevant
Never the best
But I can do better
My blood’s turned black
With bones ready to crack
You won’t see me relapse
Unless these lungs give out
Or my legs finally collapse

Sober as a Saint
Stained like a sinner
Your perception is faint
Makes my spine shiver
The gossip's hard to conceal
It's always "who's sleeping with who"
& "why am I still single"
When all I want
Is for you to be real
Need the beauty
Hate your sight
Want the scenery
Minus the light
Clinging to reality
That's the real fright
& I'm sick of pretending things are alright

Curves leave you contrite
Kiss of a lover
Personality missing stereotype
Heart of a mother
Makes my rate stutter
Obsessed with her mind
Possessed by her touch
Lost in her eyes
It's a little too much
******* what a rush
Connecting dots
Untangling thoughts
She's seeing faces
Avoiding places
I'd like to hold her hand
But I’m left wandering what’s in the other

House so quaint
Tongue so clever
Words to the poet
Limbs to the butcher
Life's moving fast
A car without breaks
Rolling hills
Blinding lights
One hit's all it takes
There isn't always a motive
Sometimes I just wanna live
Insanity on the brain
They haven't splattered yet
No one likes a stain
I have the bar set
Nothing to lose
The world to gain
Just try keeping up
& I'll try staying sane

Head in the clouds
Feet on the ground
I think you’re going places
And don’t forget to tie those laces
Brimming with ambition
Always on a mission
I know you’ll see it through
The road might be long
But you’re so **** strong
Why second guess?
You’re dressed to ****
And you’re killing that dress
I wouldn’t expect much less

Head in the clouds
Feet on the ground
Every minute with you is laughter bound
This thing we made will always be sound
Even at each other’s throats
Never stays prolonged
Small town girl meets big city nerd
When has that ever been heard?
A dull moment with you seems so absurd
We come so natural
But keep it judgment free
With sarcasm deeper than the sea

No one like you
I’ll show no fear
No more endings
It’s you my dear
Those phone calls at night
Always leave my days here bright
And why you make this feel alright

Head in the clouds
Feet on the ground
I’m still happy this friendship was found
You’re my fresh start
Cause girly you’re just like me
We stay so callous and free
With love hidden underneath
Reserved for those
Behind that doormat from home
Still fine to roam alone
There’s adventures ahead
With story’s around the bend
And I can’t even imagine an end

If I ever…
If I ever really did it
I’d do it big
Roses on the floor
Sweets galore
Under the sunset by the shore

If I ever…
I mean, really did it
I’d bring us back
Evening with the fire
Hand full of wine
Nothing under the wire

If I ever…
I mean, really ever actually did it
I’d take you to that old band box diner
Fake smiles until memories start to flood
Move on to the people of our lives
Hug goodbye, and go our separate ways

Woke up hungrier than ever
They'll try to get in the way
I think it’s time we sever
Grow together
Or die on your own
We’ll build an empire
You can keep that throne
The world’s hoping you fold
With a silver lining in sight
I won’t settle for less than gold

Go to bed hungry
Wake up starving
Can I speak bluntly?
They started at a disadvantage
Tried to cut my legs off
I’d be ****** too
If I was only average
Atlantis wasn’t built in a day
Blind eyes can lend you passage
But broken bones only support decay

Ambition stokes the fire
Every hopeless dream is absolutely dire
Expect nothing, take everything
Hiding damage is the same as breathing
Seeking treasures I can’t have
Feed them to the sharks
Throw myself to the wolves
My biggest fear is to succeed
It might be the life I want
But not the life I need

**Please **** me if I'm ever ******* average

Same old story
Blame the infected head
No-name decaying territory
With the familiar dead
Haunted by the ghosts of my past
Each one worse than the last
But she wears the crown
Unable to cope
I had to skip town
Nothing good happens with you around
The worst feeling isn’t being alone
It’s being alone because no one cares
You barely did
Just splintered bones
With broken promises to spare

Sick of hiding what I want
Or who I’m not
You stacked the deck
Didn’t plan on being caught
Finally showed my cards
So you bet it all on a Jack
Send my regards
I still have that ace
Almost twenty one and I miss the chase
Knew you’d run for the hills
She’s the next Houdini
Sticking needles in bloodshot eyes
Anything for her fix of cheap thrills
Strike three, quit cashing in lies
Can’t use me any longer
We all know that body pays your bills

O**ver thinking life
Second guessing love
Almost doubting anything above
Still thinking of you
Believed in me from the start
The first to care
And how you won my heart
Constantly looking for a life to share
Nothing compares
I’ve read us cover to cover
Over and over
Smile at every torn up page
Forever regret hitting disengage
Maybe someday our story has another chapter
But I’m living for the moment now
Someday may as well be forever

Literally, I mean figuratively
It’s all in my head
Like the things never said
You would of liked the chivalry
Another reason your gone, clearly
Now I’m neck deep
Holding empty promises we said
Cause you ditched the teeth
To join the sheep instead

Heartless, I mean hopeless
Opened your mouth
And out came the wolves
Ankle biters at the heel
Still around but their not real
Nothing to conceal
I just want to feel
Anything but hate
Let’s start with something real

Haunted, I mean hunted
She’s crying monster
Burn the witch imposter
The closet’s safe
The bed is clear
Mornings getting near
Drop the act
Grab a match
And check the mirror

F**ame, I mean infamy
Talk about a girl
Talk about infinity
Can you even think of her face?
Not from here until infinity
Try to remember end up forgetting
Rewriting, it’s this one I swear
One question still needs an answer here

Why do I care?

2am and up with the night
That’s what feels right
Also where I feel alone
Still no home
The night consumes me
Stuck in this undertow
So now I tip toe
Around everything I’ve become
Or the things I’m not
I forgot the meaning of sleep
These eyes could tell you that
Bloodshot and dead
I’ve got a heart to match
And a soul to clash
Just a bad night
Like all the rest

Dare you to quit fighting back
Your legs gave in
So the throne gave out
They’ll tear it down
Brick by boring brick
Stick by broken stone
“It’ll be fine”
What a hand-me-down lie
Cause I am not okay
This is not alright
I can see the end
And you’re the fakest **** friend

Falling down on my face
Can’t look anyone in the eyes
******* disgrace
Or myself in the mirror
Going on 7 years bad luck
Forgive the self pity
I’m just pessimistic
With a missing characteristic
Who has time for feeling sorry?
The truth is I’m tired
And sick of fighting
Cause it’s the same old story
Make it from one bad night to the next
But every single one feels hexed

W**e all have them
The nights you barely survive
Praying I make it out alive
Whether it’s saints or sinners
No one’s ever a winner
Somewhere between angels and demons
While you’re speaking about a hell you don’t believe in
Against a heaven that’s only promised freedom
Maybe you should ask for wisdom
I’m just asking to be saved
Never coming back unscathed
What doesn’t **** you makes you stronger
I’d like to think they’ve made me brave

"How do you stay positive?"
I could hear my heart breaking as she said it
Looking for an answer
Looking for peace of mind
Finding rest would be too kind
She doesn’t need a lover
Just a friend
*** won’t pass as a distraction
Not for her
Even though she used to be mine
Now she just fakes fine

I** think she forgot how to be happy
Or became cursed along the way
Turned into a rose one day
Look, but you can’t touch
Speak, but she’ll whisper “hush”
Beauty growing as fast as she speaks
It’s making these knees weak
Still shattered as all hell
Imperfections for everyone to see
Everyone, but me
Cause we’re building character
And you’re the only one I want to see

Give me a name
Tell me who did it
Hurt you to the point of extinction
With this loveless reaction
Your body rejects it
And took your voice to settle the score
Or maybe you can’t
Like your heart is in a war
Not a physical
Still gone girl distinction
I’ll tell you the difference
While she:
Lies like it’s nothing
Fakes a smile
Hides the cutting
Pretend, but you know there’s something

I've heard it all before
& know the feeling of wanting more
Until you learn to accept love
You’re going to stay broken
She has that damaged girl complexion
Loner girl rhythm
Forgotten girl syndrome  
Not an illness or condition
Just a broken girl anthem

Let's talk about how we feel
Let’s talk about me
And how you’ve made me ******* cruel
I’m all about finding good vibes cause happiness is key
But I’m still broken as ****
No matter which way you turn it
You’re bound to get cut
Always the lesson, but I’ll never learn
Always looking down, chances are I’ll still trip
I barely see the lights guiding my way
Held down by the anchors hiding at bay

Ambition bursting at the steams
My follow-through needed work back when I played ball
Four years later, wishing I still played ball
But I’ll work at what I want till these knuckles are bruised
And these feet start to bleed
Everyone forgets since they can’t see Him
So I tattooed my feet
Cause I love to bleed
There when I’m looking down
What else is new?
Chances are I’m looking down

I'm still faking maybe
But I know you’re absolutely crazy
Trying to stay high
Cause coming down
Feels a lot like crashing
And what we had is burning
What happens when bones won’t grow again?
I can’t keep my  feet on the ground
Or head above waves
But she always reaches down to pull me in
Life is looking up
& I just hope she stays

Life is perspective, how’s yours?
You only get out
What you put in
But we only put out
So we can fit in
This skin is suffocating
And not being who you are is a sin

Life is perspective, how’s mine?
Keep the the good vibes in genesis
And the bad ones in exodus
Be kind
Stay humble
Rejoice in your suffering
You can find happiness in everything

Life is perspective, how’s theirs?
Sick to death of living with fear
Always reminded that imperfection isn’t good enough
But you can’t know someone else
Until you know yourself
And you’ll never know yourself
Until you’re over the fear of never being anyone else

Asking for anonymous
Doubt yourself
Tell another lie
Make an excuse
Keep getting high
Push her away
No reason why
Make an excuse
And keep getting high

Asking for anonymous
This heart
Lacks a servants touch
Who I am
But the man can’t respect
My home
Still lacks any heart
Struggling
Rejoice in your suffering

Answering anonymous
Simplicity
Gives you tranquility
Tranquility
Guides you through spirituality
Spirituality
Will bring you consciousness
Divinity
I hope you reach enlightenment

Up with the sky
No one could pull me down from that height
Then I saw her face
Followed by loss of appetite
Out the pit I’ve had since she left
Empty and hollow, you were expecting polite?
I can’t ******* stomach you
Called us quits so I could get some insight
But I’ve been inhaling secondhand lovers
I’ll never forget those summers

Meanwhile broken whispers chant:
oly oly oxen free
Finding who we used to be
oly oly oxen free
Back to where the wild things run free
oly oly oxen free
Running until they collide with the sea

"Come out and play"
But the Siren is hiding from me
And I from her
I’m burning down every lighthouse in sight
Hoping she never makes it home
Who’s hiding from who?
I don’t think this house will ever be your home

There's a smile I can't forget
Affinity when we met
And a stomach full of butterflies I secretly kept
She’s got that good girl resemblance
And bad girl grin
I swear her eyes yell sin
It’s only for the sake of appearance
After all it’s just skin
Talking in absolutes
But abstracts give them less to persecute
I’d take your place as tribute
Cause I think what we have could be absolute

I've got that good guy look
And bad boy desire
Don’t mistake me as a compulsive liar
I just know every play in the book
Playing this game is like playing with fire
I still have the taste from your lips
Be careful not to sink ships
So I’ll move down to your hips
I still haven’t forgotten those lips
God forbid we take another hit
But I went and ran my mouth
Now there’s blood in the water

Pull me up
Pull me out
My lungs are filling now
I can’t breathe, I can’t sit still
I’ve had enough of the thrill
You’re flirting with heresy
And it’s turning us into fallacy
I’ll take those words back
Cause you’re still everything she lacks

Caught you signing seance seance
Praying He’s gonna save us save us
And now we’re dancing with the dead
Always tied down to that bed
You may as well be dead

This house has taken its toll
The walls are stained like your soul
Burn the wick from both ends
Until you scream from the pain
Then they’ll know
So write these pages from front to back
Letting words define your dreams
Just so you’re not undignified
Let it go
The world has a glow from the inside out
Even in this drought
The tears help me see
There’s still color in these veins

Let's give this the old college try
Cause I’m done only getting by
All it takes is some make believe
Innocent as a tree
While these branches wither away
The only time you make is all to yourself
Just don’t put us on the shelf
Never going back till I’m off of these knees
I wish you could mean nothing to me
But I’m terrified this feeling won’t ever come again
My problems are just friends slamming doors
But they’re my doors
And my used-to-be friends

Life is always a test
Something you can’t even win
So I understand when angels feel the need to hang themselves
Kick the chair from under me
The same fate awaits
I’ll wash my hands of us
Maybe then you can see

Eyes Closed
Sitting in her car
Breathing smoke
Lost in the moment
As if I could feel the rain on my skin
The radio through my bones
I thought the world went deaf
Then she whispered:
“I’m a little damaged
And you’re a little broken
But we’re somewhere in the middle
Let’s make recovery our devotion”

Minds open
Trading views
Sharing dreams
She only ends a conversation
So she can start a new one
Holding my breath for what’s next
I thought the world went deaf
Then she whispered:
“I’m a little timid
And you’re a little shy
But if you’ll have me for awhile
We can give this our best try”

Hearts static
Watching the sunset
Standing on the edge
I look at her and her at me
She let’s out a sigh of relief
Content to drown in silence
I thought the world went deaf
Then she whispered:
“I’m a little lost
And you’re losing faith in fate
But if you give me your hand
We can make tomorrow wait”