All I want to do
Is survive the cold today
and drink with you

Every now and then I miss it
Even though I know it’s better that it ended

Days like these are hard
Am I selfish for that?
Or just nostalgic for something that wasn’t at all how I remembered it being

It’s not that I want to
It’s not that I crave an ending
More so that if it were to happen
Sooner than later
I’d be happy
Knowing what I know
And experiencing all I have
Finally feels like enough
Sure there’s more
And I’ll continue for now
But you can take me at any moment
You like

Sometimes I think I still see you on street corners
Minding your own business
Going somewhere
To someone
With something to do
a smile on your face
And it makes me happy
To know you’re happy
And it makes me wonder
How a feeling could linger so long
When it probably isn’t
What I thought it was
Sometimes I think I see you on street corners
But it’s just a stranger passing by
Or maybe you’re just a stranger now

An orange
Wrapped in paper towels
Rotting at the bus stop
Turns the air into sour wine

Rain strikes the pavement
Rinsing blood and alcohol
And spit and ash
From the concrete

Cradled beneath a steel bench
The suburbs resemble orchards
Family Trees
Bearing no fruit

Your skin was blemished only by
Thousands of tiny cuts from blades of grass

As my skull cracks
Thoughts run like yolk from my lips
I watch street lights flicker like frames on a screen
I rest pills beneath my tongue till they turn into chalk
Merging with the grain of my teeth
I see strangers in passing
Each new body feels like a steady beat of nonsense
Losing all reason
All meaning
There is no savior
Only silence