Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Today is the day... sweat beads up on my far head, hands shaking, lips quivering...

It's time, but am I ready? I can taste the bile coming up from my stomach to my mouth...

I cringe at the thought of leaving... But I need to run, run fast and far... running from myself, but I'm always there... How do I get away?

Death seems the only answer, as I pick up the knife, wondering if I have the courage to end the pain... I put the knife down slowly, scared and shaking...

I drop to my knees, weeping and confused...

I'm still here....
I see a woman in front of me, she looks familiar, something about her eyes.. I've seen them before.. they look tired and sad.... she must have once been beautiful, but I feel something terrible has happened to her...

I smile at her and see a glimmer of sparkle in her eyes, a slight grin in the corner of her mouth. Does she know me? Should I talk to her and ask what is wrong?

She continues to stare at me, with those sad eyes.... I feel uncomfortable, I can't breath... I need to leave now. I turn away and walk to another room.

She is there.... how can that be?

I realize in horror, it's a mirror, and the woman is me.
I look around the room for the last time... Making sure I've left nothing behind.

I'm nervous and shaking, fear overwhelms me...

I am leaving... it's bitter-sweet... I don't want to leave, but I never want to come back... I feel safe here. Can I handle the world outside these walls?


I grab my suitcase and start down the long hallway... It wasn't this long when I got here, was it? It seems as if I've been walking for days, my mouth is dry and throat is scratchy, I don't think I can speak... Beads of sweat take over my forehead. Panic is taking over…

The rooms I pass are all quiet, everyone is still sleeping... I want to crawl back into my bed and hide... but it is time to go... the bed is not mine, and it would soon be someone else’s for a time...

I'm nearing the door. I freeze. The door feels so heavy, a thousand pound weight. I push through it. I'm finally outside! Freedom...

Am I ready for the next chapter of my life?

What happens from here is all up to me...
Why is he with her?
How can he profess his love for her after speaking those same words to me just days before...
Yes, I ended it.
Yes, I wanted this.
But how can he be so happy with her...
Did I think I was that special?
She disguises herself as a love guru, displaying their love as a circus, the two of them in the center ring...
The sweetness is making my stomache turn, like cotton candy on steriods...
I have to let the obsession go before it destroys me.
I am at the cirus walking the tight rope... it's getting shaky, my balance is off, I feel myself beginning to fall,
I'm falling into the blackness, but there is no bottom...
I hear the circus music playing as I continue to fall into the darkness which seems endless....
Will I ever stop falling... and if I do, where will I land...
Next page