I am not happy.
And I don't know why.
But I can feel the sadness inside me.
Like growing dead flowers in my lungs.
I have no one left to blame for my misery.
So I'm feeling very lost.

I've been in the same town for 16 years.
But all of the sudden,
I don't know where I am.
Nor who I'm with.

*Hello. Yes. I think I could use your help. I'm not sure of my location.

Oh. I'm sorry there must be some mistake.
I'm not home.
I would recognize this place.

More recently
I have become a better person.

I have been nicer
And more accepting.

And now I notice
More people walking out of my life.

People that I care deeply about.

So what am I left to do?

Guess I just have to say *******.

I can't tell
If the water flowing
Down my face

Is from my eyes
Being peeled open too long

Or my eyes
Crying for they haven't seen you in too long

I am uncomfortable.
This type of lifestyle doesn't fit me.

I just had a really nice night.
With my friends.
I call them my friends.
Since we have nice times together.
But we all talk **** on each other.
So I guess it's not the nicest friendship.
But we're friends to say the most.
And that's me saying a lot.
This is a normalcy I am sick of dealing with.
So I need to leave.
Because I would much rather.
Be at peace with myself.
Than have a fake happiness.
So hopefully this is goodbye.
Because I am tired of you.

Oh ******* it

I just want to live atop a mountain
And paint what I see
And write a book
And pick my own flowers
And be no where near people
And make things from wood
And warm myself with a fire

And oh how I can't wait to take things into my own hands but nothing scares me more than believing I'm going to ***** it all up.